Today’s post is part of Blogger, May I?, with today’s prompt being Current Struggles.

I am no stranger to the struggle bus. Lately — while I’ve come to terms with my age — it’s weighted with the message of “I’m too old for this shit.”

How do you tell someone you care about that you’ve changed too much despite them? I don’t even know if that’s the right way to put it… sometimes it feels like a lapse or distance in maturity and judgment. I don’t want to be around fake people — those who often ask for advice but never listen. Gah, is that the pinnacle of some bullshit, the opposite of authenticity. I don’t want to be around people who continually put themselves into situations where all the consensus of advice goes out the window. Not saying that my guidance is appropriate for everyone, but when values are misaligned… well, it’s just not going to work out. Perhaps I’ve just been shit on too many times, but it’s a struggle to find balance to accept someone for who they are and just not liking the person that they’ve become.

Alas, my current struggle has a lot to do with change. I’m no longer afraid of it, but I am frequently disappointed because of it. And I’ve found it very freeing that instead of holding on to the ideals of my former self, I can be all I CAN CHANGE WHAT I WANT. Going back to my aforementioned situation, I’m trying not to be a hypocrite and understand that others may not be so accepting of me.

And I need to find peace with both scenarios.