HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

MAN. This post was harder than I thought to write! And not because of any weird emotions or awful memories, but because my brain legit sucks. I cannot remember my own birthdays. That’s some bullshit. And this is exactly why I asked for a 5-year diary for Christmas, which I have YET to use!

So it took some detective work (like, glossing over social media accounts and waybacking old blog posts and texting my sister).

And finding hilarious pictures like this:

I guess it’s better than passing out in a handicapped bathroom stall on your 29th birthday, eh?

But here’s the lot of what I got from ages 30-39:

30 I remember being SO excited about turning 30 and getting the hell out of my 20s (#bye). I honestly had to message my sister to help me remember how we celebrated because it was completely lost in my memory (I even second-guessed her because that’s how terrible my memory of the event is. Isn’t that awful?!) I can’t even find any pictures from my bash. I do, however, have a 30th birthday CD that was made for me.

Very limited story, because forgetfulness, but we went to Velvet Tango Room and had a HUGE party (apparently the guy I was dating at the time helped me plan the thing — though neither my sister or I even remember who that was). All of my friends were there though. And two of my sisters came in for it. And I remember having either dinner or brunch (widely different memories, no?) with my mom and got a new luggage set — which I still have and LOVE because Nine West is amazing. And maybe the color purple is strongly tied to memory?

31 I had a Cinco de Mel get-together with friends at our favorite Mexican restaurant. I was probably heavily intoxicated on Cadillac margaritas and Malley’s chocolates. I’m hoping that Facebook memories or Timehop will help me recover some of those lost events from a weekend or some-such — or maybe I just kept it really low key that year? I have a picture of me in the salon in Ohio with a fresh cut, so I must have spent the afternoon with my sister (which probably, definitely included some shopping at Gabriel Brothers).

32 The birthday that I went to Vegas… but basically spent it alone. I really wanted to celebrate with friends and after that kind of went bust up (I ended up having an entire hotel room all to myself, unable to get any friends to come out with me; the other friends who I knew were going, stayed at another hotel), I wished that I’d invited my boyfriend to join me. Though I had some fun, it was enough to make me not want to go to Vegas ever again.

Afterward, the boyfriend gifted me a WONDERFUL weekend of camping and biking near Fallingwater (we did a tour of the house and grounds, too). And we kayaked down river and made friends who rafted with Yuengling.

33 With my current boyfriend, again, we got a limo and took some friends over to watch some roller derby; then we invited everyone back to our downtown apartment in Cleveland to drink some Ice Tea Vodka (OMGoodness, I haven’t had that in so long!).

34 Shortly after my 34th birthday, I started this blog! I found myself in a weird space at the end of an odd age bracket and growing out of my “other” blog. Here’s a snippet of my weekend from a post on my other site though:

Friday, I rushed through my morning work schedule, so that I could walk around downtown — it was a gorgeous sunny day. I hit Franktuary for lunch, then wandered over to the Pittsburgh Public Market (for marshmallows and beer). After the boyfriend left work, I met him for a Happy Hour drink at NOLA in Market Square — totally hoping for some outdoor seating (sadly, no room on the patio) — while we discussed our night plans. Which was our first trip out to the Waterfront in Homestead, for comedy at the IMPROV (Jim Jefferies, FTW!). Then, we had WAY too much fun (think: Extreme “More Than Words”) at Sing Sing, Pittsburgh’s dueling piano bar.

Saturday: early rising to join 1,000+ “friends” for the Pedal Pale Ale Keg Ride. Of course, RAIN for the 6+ mile ride from downtown to the starting line at East End Brewing Company (and oh, holy hell, Penn Avenue I hate your elevation). The ride finished off at Penn Brew on the North Side (mmmm, love that warm German Potato Salad!), with thankfully no significant rain during that trip. Afterward, I definitely needed a Disco Nap, if I was going to survive the Dirty Ball. Which was SO MUCH FUN, Pittsburgh. And not an ankle was broken in my 6-inch heels! But there was dancing… LOTS of dancing. The sequins definitely made for an impression.

Sunday was fit for a grump, as I had to wake up early AGAIN (early, at least for how much vodka I had the night before) for a sunny afternoon game with the Pittsburgh Pirates. Oh, lookie there: The Buccos won for my birthday.

AND THEN I DID (something like) 18 LOADS OF LAUNDRY.

#todaywasagoodday

35 I had an MRI because of, what would be, ligament damage in my wrist. (Thanks, derby.) I remember (however, vaguely) having drinks and snacks at the bar at ELEVEN in Pittsburgh with my boyfriend. We did that, like, three years in a row. It was an awesome tradition and their desserts are BOMB.

36 I was dealing with the reality of a skin cancer diagnosis and having something of an identity crisis. 2013 was a really rough year overall for me.

37 I started off my day with a Bird of Prey experience at the National Aviary, and then enjoyed a wonderful hot stone massage. Based on my blog post about that day, it seemed that I was finally feeling less anxiety over my birthdays and my 30s in general.

38 Well, the week of my 38th birthday, I ran my first half marathon! For my weekend of celebration, we partied at Howl at the Moon and WOO-BOY, did we party! And then my dad came out to visit. It was such a fun weekend, even if I was a little stressed out pulling it all together.

39 Here we are, the LAST time that I will celebrate a year in my 30s. Look at how far we’ve come in ten years! This year’s a little different, of course, given that we’re in a new state. And we’ve explored a little more of our new home: On Saturday, we went to the Food Truck Throw Down in the city, hosted by Des Moines Social Club. And on Sunday, we went to Pella to look at the tulips — followed by lunch at Exile Brewing Company.

More on this year’s fun in a later post. But seriously: Would you be able to remember a decade’s worth of birthdays?