I sustained a 90-day daily meditation streak. And on Day 91, I opened my Headspace app in bed – as I previously mentioned my intent at moving my practice to another time of day and hahahahahahahaha JUST KIDDING – and proceeded to fall asleep. Before actually doing the meditation.

The streak was broken. All I had to do was restart on Day 92. But May 13 came and went. Aside from a mid-flight relaxation session while traveling to Vancouver, I haven’t done a single meditation exercise since.

Funny thing about habits, eh?

(Apparently my Canadien accent is still hanging on.)

Spring quarter really killed my motivation for meditation, my daily bedtime and morning coffee reading rituals, and my run schedule. I even stopped my meal tracking. I mean, I have certainly filled the void with other types of exercise and fun and way too much scrolling and trolling social media and even playing stupid games on my phone called “Toon Blast.” While I allowed myself the freedom to just do “whatever,” the structure of a training plan and daily habits kept me balanced (and really, really helps me sleep better). Plus I was making excuses: I’m not training for anything right now, so I don’t need to run at all or track my food. And because I wasn’t training for anything and wasn’t tracking my food, I was eating sandwiches for several meals a day and not eating my healthier lunch salads. And on and on.

Why is it so hard to restart habits? It’s not about motivation, FYI. I truly believe that action begets motivation. Though introducing so many components at once is setting up for overwhelm and, possibly, failure. The key is to integrate small pieces at a time.

My training schedule for my fall 50K started this week, and I’m committed to seeing to that race as a strong participant (and working with a coach who takes the guessing game of training plans out of the equation and out of my mental space). I have re-introduced my morning book with my coffee and slowly working on getting to bed at an earlier time for my nighttime reading. Though I’m on summer break, I am slowly returning to my books and notes and fellow cohorts to prepare for my upcoming internship. Summer break has been a good opportunity to reconnect with friends and be super social. And also kickstart how I want to use my minutes. Oh, hi! I’m also here again, too, hoping to reinvigorate my regular blogging habit.

I leave for two weeks in late July and will be wholly uprooted from my comfort and quiet zones, and my intention is to have my habits firmly in place by then. Though I will be in a different location and I will be sharing a coffee maker with WHO KNOWS how many people in a Bay area hostel, I can bring my habits (and my books) with me.