30-something problems

2014 Resolutions & Intentions

- Mel

IN WITH THE NEW

The big BUT: take the word “but” out of the conversation; replace with “and” when necessary. Work on everyday conversational language skills.

Procrastination, full stop: I need to get my shit together. And I need to stop overdrawing my checking account. I mean, I HAVE the money in my other account, and I just have to transfer it over, but… well, I’ve just felt like an irresponsible mess. It’s bad enough that I’m making nowhere near the salary that I did five years ago… ugh, just GET IT TOGETHER.

30-something problems: My self confidence has taken a nose dive this year on account of aging (and its associated havoc wrecked on my face) and not being able to find a job. Both have seriously made me feel worthless — as a woman and as a partner. I’M TRYING SO HARD, and I basically feel like a failure at life. The job market is tough right now — especially for someone at my age without a completed bachelors degree. School was obviously the next step, and I’m enrolled, and I have a plan, and graduation is within a two-year reach. So… breathe? I’m also meeting with a friend in a couple weeks who works with dermatologists to discuss some options (she seemingly knows everything about skincare and she’s a fantastic make-up artist) AND was referred a new dermatologist office (one that has all the new technology for face fixin’). It’s not like I don’t have plans, but lack of full-time income really does hold me back.

Let’s get cooking: Stop making excuses in the kitchen. Oh, I have many: I don’t know how, everything I make tastes like crap, I have no time, bones are gross, I hate doing dishes (I really just hate messes in general — even when the boyfriend is cooking)… I just don’t want to cook. Welp, this is going nowhere fast, see? Then I read about Feast from Summer Tomato. The 30-day “cooking bootcamp” with Feast includes online classes that teach the fundamentals and how to enjoy being in the kitchen. Yes, this will be one of my 30-day Challenges for 2014!

Me Time: Get more massages. Seriously. I need to start taking care of ME. My body is just miserable with knots and sore muscles — it truly is much needed therapy when you play a sport like I do.

In pants we trust: Find a pair of pants that fit. Last fall I had a complete breakdown in my closet, and subsequently had to rid it of at least 15 pairs of bottoms. As my glutes and hams continue to grow (I’m not mad!), I’m now busting out of the pants that remained. I have a problem with tights too, so generally dresses are out, at least for this time of year. The last 5 skirts I purchased needed serious tailoring to fit my shape (short, muscular people problems?). Regardless, I’m just a pants person. So help me, I’ll find a tailor and have pants made for me, if I have to!

What goals or resolutions are you setting for yourself this year?

Every 30-something needs… to feel beautiful in her own skin.

- Mel

My blogger friend Terra of Stylish White Female started a great idea: to show off the bare naked faces of women to show that we ALL are beautiful. (follow along on twitter too: #barenaked)

She requested her female readers reveal their bare-skinned faces — no makeup, no fancy filters, no hiding behind hair — and I submitted my picture. Along with a horrible list of all the things wrong with my bare face. What’s weird is that I’m not self conscious about my body at all — but my face? Zero confidence. I see enlarged pores and saggy, sullen skin and under eye circles and red eye lids and sun damage (and sadly, now skin cancer scars)… and age. Even when I showed off my skin cancer scars and surgery pictures, I was hiding behind a mess of bruising and bandages.

Even hiding behind a pair of eye pads.
Even hiding behind a pair of eye pads.

The truth is: I DO NOT LIKE myself — my face — without makeup. Even less so as I get older.

Terra started an amazing project that hopefully prompts more women like me to love the skin we’re in. I’m trying… and her thoughtful response back to my list of negative comments honestly made me cry. I don’t know why I hate on my face so much — or why I’m struggling emotionally so much with aging — but her praise and encouragement made me reconsider how I see myself.

I’ve got some work to do, but I’m forever grateful for her doing such a project.

Every 30-something needs… a pair of comfortable flats! (that are not tennis shoes)

- Mel

I am at a crossroads with my shoe collection. Aside from weddings, I can’t tell you the last time I wore a pair of heels in the last year. And yet, I own something like 80 pairs. Most of them still in storage from the move LAST October! And yes, I have plans for ridding my life of them. Interested?

This means that I’ve been rotating through my flats — a modest collection — and yet, none of them fit properly. Being comfortable has so much to do with well-being. Mood is directly tied to footwear: Flats for comfort, heels to make you feel powerful, boots to keep your feet dry, wedges to make you look like a dumbass when you’re tripping all over the sidewalk. Why else do we go shoe shopping when we’ve had a bad day, amiright?!

On my radar: are they really as comfy as advertised?
On my radar: are they really as comfy as advertised?

Seriously. I’ll pay ANYTHING to own a pair of flats that don’t tear apart my heels and inside of my foot or push on the outside bone near my pinky toe. (OK, probably within reason.) New Toms: terrible. I love my Toms wrap boots SO MUCH, but every time I wear the casual flats, I end up having to slip out of the heel and step on the back of the shoes for the remainder of my errands. Because, OUCH. This happens with SO many pairs of flats for me. The new slip-on Skechers I bought recently? Super comfy in the store, but ONE AFTERNOON of wear put horrible blisters on BOTH feet. Awful, terrible, bleeding blisters. Like, how the hell am I supposed to skate with open sores on my feet?! Strappy sandals are the worst — digging, rubbing, too tight… I refuse to wear flip-flops in the city, so don’t bother suggesting. I’ve tried brands like Mia, Converse, Chinese Laundry and BC Footwear.

Even wearing regular tennis shoes on a hike started rubbing rough on the side of my foot around mile 3. These were fitted by a shoe store professional, by the way. If you’re curious, even with semi-custom skate boots, I still have fit problems, mostly in the heel. It’s a never-ending battle with footwear.

Needs: comfort, support, prefer leather (so it’s something that will eventually mold to my feet AND hold up) — in a style that can go both casual-to-happy hour.

SEND HELP TO MY FEET, 30-somethings!

Drool over SHOES!!! with me on Pinterest.