back to school

Congratulations, Graduate!

- Mel

This past weekend was special. My family joined me to celebrate my accomplishment of (finally!) completing my bachelor’s degree. I traveled to the commencement ceremony in Columbus, Ohio because it was important that I acknowledge this achievement in-person. I really wanted the opportunity to savor it — to meet my classmates and those who I worked with in online courses, to meet my senior capstone adviser, to nervous-chatter and laugh (and cry a little), and to really feel proud of myself.

And I did.

This goal was personally important to me, and I had so much support from my partner during the last couple years to return to school and finish. He gave me strength when I had none. He (smartly) did not give me answers when I needed them. At times, this was a serious struggle — especially balancing work and travel and other life responsibilities. And other times, it felt impossible to see it through. All the trips that we took for long weekends, and I had to lug with me a laptop and a few books. Weekends and evenings completely devoted to writing papers and attending class sessions. I gave up volunteering. I retired from roller derby.

My life was one big note tornado.

And it was all worth it. But I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the impact of that stress — up to and including the commencement ceremony. For starters, I never received confirmation of my final grades, possible honor status, and a degree audit… until I had to ask for that information. Nobody from the school provided details about the commencement ceremony, save for a static webpage that told me what time to be there. I received no President’s Letter for my final semester. I never heard from the program chair congratulating me on my completion.

And then my heart broke when I realized that our program’s graduates (and, yes, including me) were completely left out of the program book. I tried my best to not let that bring me down (but you bet your ass I emailed the Registrar’s Office to demand a reprint).

I won’t do too much cheerleading here, but know that if you have a goal like changing careers or going back to school in your 30s: it will seem impossible, and you find yourself continually struggling with the day-to-day and wondering how to juggle life. It is all worth that final moment of walking across the stage and seeing that piece of paper with your name on it. To hear your parents or partner or kids tell you how proud they are too. Don’t ever let your age stop you from making changes in your life.

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For the record, I graduated Summa Cum Laude. Yep, that level of dedication was all worth it.

Weekly Therapy: What’s with all the questions?

- Mel

the week:
How do you shift your thinking amidst a bunch of change? I’ve been really taking in the perspective of others and asking a lot of questions to help guide me through a few transitions — both professional and personal. I don’t necessarily feel stuck but I don’t feel as though I’m making any meaningful progress either. I have made it a priority, however, to start getting all the info I need to go to grad school. Spreadsheets are made and envelopes of program brochures are sitting in my mail pile. I’m not yet paralyzed… but I’m certainly feeling a little overwhelmed.

Anyone know a life/career coach who helps with the grad school application process?

weekend:
Long weekend, everybody! We originally had plans to drive to Ohio for a party, but that got canceled. So I’ve got a lot of NOTHING TO DO… in my hammock. Buh-bye, summer. Don’t let the door hit ya. And would you mind taking out that 90-degree/100% humidity garbage?

52 books in 52 weeks:
#31: Are You Fully Charged? by Tom Rath – I received this book for review via NetGalley. Since I enjoyed Rath’s StrengthFinder book so much from my personal development work, I expected this to be equally as inspiring.

The first couple sections of the book resonated, and I was particularly interested in what Rath categorizes as “energy”… but the result of that was either heavy on personal anecdotes that didn’t really add much or regurgitated info that I’ve learned from other books (and from my interest in positive psychology). Like, I GET IT ALREADY: I NEED TO GET MORE SLEEP. When someone tells me a HOW that works, then maybe it will be ground-breaking book info.

Hashtag, not getting enough sleep.

seven things, seven days:
1. Did you know that in Pittsburgh you have to renew your library card? My procrastination framework is firmly integrated. Coincidence that it’s National Library Card Sign Up Month?
2. Why did I feel so much worse the day after my 4-mile run than I did after my 14-mile run? WHY.
3. Why are health insurance companies the worst? My claims were denied for the same blood panel I get every year, albeit with my new insurance, and they won’t even apply the $550 payment towards my out-of-pocket expenses or deductible. THE WORST.
4. Why does this make me feel like shit (but I totally get it)? Read: How ‘transference’ makes you hard to live with.
5. A depressing – but hopefully a means for reflection – opinion piece in the New York Times: How Not to Be Alone. I just realized this is from 2013. Why am I just reading it now?
6. Copywriter to Performance Psychologist… Wait, whose life is this? Sustainable High Performance: Five Questions with Matt Fellows {via Forbes.com}
7. Did you know the GRE costs $195?! The hell.

Weekly Therapy: “You will either step forward into growth or you will step back into safety.” – Abraham Maslow

- Mel

the week:
My Capstone project has been focused on burnout in organizations (and its relation to organizational culture and motivation), and thank the Applied Psych Gods that this course/project is only 6 weeks long because I’m sure that I would be experiencing burnout myself. I’m on my last couple days of assignments, with my final project presentation Saturday morning. And then, I’m DONE. D-O-N-E.

It’s so surreal from when I first started talking about going back to school and some of the obstacles that I encountered even trying to apply!

weekend:
I’m in Toronto for the annual APA convention, and I’m part of its Twitter Team again. If you’re into psychology follow along: @melindaurick and #APA2015

(AAAAAAAHHHHHH. I’M DONE WITH SCHOOL!)

I’m supposed to run Ray’s Race 5K Saturday morning, aka: the Running of the Psychologists as I like to call it. BUT with my final class presentation at 9 am, I’m nervous that I’ll be cutting it too close (and the starting point is a 30-minute walk from where I’m staying). I have 10 miles on my schedule for my long run on Sunday, so at least I’ll have that relaxing way to see some of Toronto without the stress of homework deadlines hovering over me.

seven things, seven days:
1. Experienced a water main break this week on my street. Thankfully, no flooding in the basement!
2. I attended my first info program about grad school… I know, I know, I’m talking all about being done but I plan to take at least 6 months off.
3. Changing your life is not a mid-life crisis. SO IMPORTANT! Change is certain in our lives; we need not judge others (or fear them) for wanting to change.
4. Seemed relevant: Perfectionism and burnout.
5. Something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately (re: reducing the clutter and noise in my own life): One year without social media
6. 3 effective ways I’m dealing with professional burnout – a great personal essay from The Financial Diet
7. And if you’re suffering from burnout: How to recover {via Mind Tools}

Weekly therapy: The worst comes first.

- Mel

the week:
I feel like I’m finally making progress on my Capstone project, now that I have a clear focus (and I’m not freaking out on the regular). I can’t wait to share with you when I’m finished! It’s amazing to think how much my interests have changed since I started this program a year-and-a-half ago, and it’s incredible to think I will be done in less than a month. The first couple weeks of the semester were rough — this project is probably the hardest thing I’ve done to date — but I am keeping a new perspective of my accomplishments so far in this program, knowing that its completion will lead me to some recharged career opportunities and interests.

weekend:
Oh, hai Cleveland! I can’t wait to run along your beautiful lake. Aside from the comfort of hotel living for a couple days, I will be squeezing homework in between catching up with my ol’ stomping grounds. Any restaurant suggestions for this gluten-free lady?

I’m officially already on my weekend (hai, also wine!). Enjoy your pickles, Pittsburgh.

52 books in 52 weeks:
I figured that without any textbooks for my final two courses, that I would be doing a lot more reading of journals rather than books (I was right). I started getting into Judy Blume’s new book, but I’ll be leaving at home and bringing a case study with me to read (fun times!).

seven things, seven days:
1. This week, I inadvertently found the option to respond to text messages while in the lock screen of my iPhone. LIFE CHANGING.
2. You’ve heard of “ghosting” by now, right? (We used to call it “pancaking” in my day. And it happened to me more times than should for one person. Ahem.) Did you read this NYT article? All I can muster is WTF, COWARDS.
3. Hilariously, I received my PopsugarMustHave, StitchFix, and Ipsy on the same day this week. Should I start doing reviews?
4. Timehop tells me that I was in Costa Rica two years ago. SIGH.
5. PTO Day is my everything right now (hello, laundry!)
6. Darya of Summer Tomato gets this SO RIGHT >> The Secret Ingredient You’re Missing for Stronger Motivation
7. “Thirty-one per cent of us sleep fewer than six hours a night, and sixty-nine per cent report insufficient sleep” — I am part of this statistic. Why Can’t We Fall Asleep. {via New Yorker}

Weekly Therapy: Trust Your Struggle

- Mel

the week:
The formulation of a prospectus for my senior capstone project has been overwhelming. While I have a good idea of my final project, filling in all the parts of what I’ve learned so far in my program, I feel troubled at being able to pull this all together in less than 6 weeks. Mind you, there’s nothing else to work on in this course aside from the capstone project, but BOY do I need the miracle of time and project management on my side (and BOY would a project management course had been helpful in this program). My other course is the Psychology of Motivation and already getting some really interesting info about motives (how can I also work these concepts into my prospectus?).

#trust
#trust

But guys? MY LAST TWO CLASSES. In 6 weeks, my week and weekend reports will no longer be filled with homework (but likely more than enough grad school application stuff to keep you entertained!).

weekend:
Tying up some loose ends on aforementioned prospectus. We’ve got tickets to the Indians vs. Pirates on July 4th, along with a BBQ/tailgate with our Pittsburgh Browns Backers prior to the game. I also have a 90-minute massage scheduled.

Otherwise, I’ve mostly stayed out of what’s going on around town this weekend (I mean, aside from You Gotta Regatta because can we really ever get away from that during the holiday weekend?).

52 books in 52 weeks:
I’m halfway to my goal — and I’m on track!
#26: After Perfect: A Daughter’s Memoir by Christina McDowell. This was a TOTALLY gratuitous, guilty pleasure read, and I finished it in one day. Non-fiction, and a really interesting complement (and perspective) for those who are familiar with “The Wolf of Wall Street” story.

seven things, seven days:
1. Four-day workweek!
2. Uh, did some damage to my shopping budget this month: splurged on a TRX Home system (but I got a $50 discount towards it!), some new yoga accessories, and a couple pieces from this month’s (awesome, tropical printed) Fabletics collection. ACK. At least it wasn’t on a credit card? Note: contains referral link.
3. I am committed to putting the EXACT amount I spent towards paying off a credit balance too (in keeping with my July intentions).
4. We hired someone (who came highly referred from another company we work with) to take out a tree on our side patio. Welp, he never showed up!
5. ERMAGAHD, speaking of roots… I finally got my hair done (and it’s more platinum than ever!).
6. That’s one way to a fountain of youth: Older athletes have a young fitness age {via New York Times}
7. Mark Reagan on Tim Brownson’s site posting about the Laws of Attraction… What universe just exploded? {via A Daring Adventure}

Weekly Therapy: All you need is love and love is all you need.

- Mel

the week:
Finals Week. I’m stressed. I’m also doubly-stressed about preparing my prospectus for my Capstone project that basically starts NOW. I’m sitting in a little pressure cooker now, with six weeks left until I am DONE done with this program and all I want to do is meditate and yoga and zone out.

By the way, how about that Supreme Court decision, eh? <33333333 weekend:
Pretty sure I’ll be finishing up a paper or two on Saturday, and Sunday I will be prepping for my last two courses that begin on Monday (including aforementioned Capstone project). NO BOOKS REQUIRED, holla!

Sunday is also Open Streets PGH, and I’ll at least be doing the 6-mile training run with SCRR in the morning. Shit, I’ll probably have a few mimosas too.

52 books, 52 weeks:
#23: Diagnosing and Changing Organizational Culture: Based on the Competing Values Framework by Cameron & Quinn. Textbook that I really need to read in depth again before my Capstone class starts. I think the instruments and insight in this book will be usable for my senior project.

#24: Your Nutrition Solution to a Healthy Gut. I needed another easy read to catch up on my book goal and to take a break from my coursework. “Healthy Gut” was another food/nutrition guide book that was mostly easy-to-understand but not completely targeted to gluten-free folks (there’s an entire line of these nutritional books by Kimberly Tessmer, by the way). There’s a great meal plan and I like the section about “10 things you should (and should not) be eating.” This book was provided to me by the publisher, FYI. And it’s so newly-published that it’s not even on Goodreads.

seven things, seven days:
1. A Ranking of all 169 episodes of Seinfeld. If you’re into that. I know what I’ll be doing once I’m done with school. {via Vulture.com}
2. Not only did my boyfriend & I make it on the Kiss Cam at the Pirates game this week, but I was (embarrassingly) shown on the Chicken Dance Cam. #streetcredruined
3. The first of the FUSE@PSO concert series was this Wednesday at the Symphony and OMG you CANNOT miss the next one in October!
4. Received my President’s List letter from winter semester, and I’m on a straight-A streak! Which, of course, leads to more anxiety about performing well during my last semester.
5. I’m so happy that my friend-slash-neighbor joined me for a 6am run and could be both my running and accountability partner. Although 5:45am wake-up calls…zzzzzzzz.
6. I enjoyed this article from The Book of Life immensely: When is One Ready to Get Married. Although I got lost a bit on the intention of #6, the rest is profound maturity in the making for readiness in marriage.
7. “Professional Introvert” — well, this post just resonated too much for me {via The Financial Diet}

SUNDAY LATELY: Doing, Appreciating, Designing, Humming, Expecting

- Mel

Doing:
Now that I’m home from my yoga retreat, I am swiftly transitioning into homework mode. I have a pretty intense assignment due tonight at midnight, which if I didn’t have 18 other assignments due by Thursday last week, I probably would have already had a head-start on it. Trying to stay relaxed, but my last assignment I missed points for something that wasn’t detailed in the instructions.

Appreciating:
Today’s the last day of Blogger, May I? and I kept my intent of posting every day, following all the prompts and really finding a new appreciation for blogging in general — and finding some new bloggers to follow in the process.

Designing:
I’m designing a job competency model for my partner in this class and all… zzzzzzzz.

Humming:
During one of our yoga sessions this weekend, the instructor blasted “Feel Me Flow” by Naughty by Nature, and basically I’m stuck back in 1996 all over again. (Totally appropriate considering that I was in Geneva-on-the-Lake this weekend too.) It was awesome.

Expecting:
To be honest, I have low expectations for today. I’ll get my paper done, naturally, but I have little energy for much of anything else. One of my lasting take-aways from this weekend was “nearly perfect is good enough.” I have a problem with high expectations, bordering on an insane level of perfectionism. And sometimes I transfer this ideal onto others. I need to be OK with not being “perfect.” I need to be OK with others not being perfect. We can’t all be expected to be perfect from the beginning — the practice is just as important. I expect this mantra to take me to good places.

What I’m Learning

- Mel

I did a little skip-a-roo on my Blogger, May I? post yesterday, so that I could focus on (finally) getting my half marathon recap published. Yesterday’s prompt was “What are you learning?” which is my post topic today. And stay tuned for today’s actual post a little later.

If you want to talk about learning in the traditional sense, I have learned quite a bit since starting my applied psychology program last year. I’ve learned that books are even more expensive than 20 years ago when I first stepped foot in college! Among other things. In the, perhaps, non-traditional sense (for lack of a better way to reference), I have been learning a lot about myself lately — mostly that I have changed in many ways even in the last few months.

I have been learning how to live with purpose and intent. I have learned how to slow down. How not to procrastinate. How not procrastinating has somehow made my days feel longer and more fulfilled. Accomplished. I’ve learned how to tame my boredom and be OK with complacency and stillness. I love the quiet. I’ve learned the importance of forgiveness and forgetting — and most importantly, the difference between the two. I’ve learned how to communicate better with my partner (thanks, therapy!). I’ve learned that running changes my body shape. Heck, I’ve even learned that I look younger when I don’t wear eyeliner.

I’ve alluded to personal growth a few times on this blog, and I have made that a priority in my life: to be OK with who I am, who I’ve become, who I want to be. It’s that acceptance that you read about that comes with age. Wisdom with age, the wealth we all hope to accumulate.

Sunday Lately: Dwelling, Helping, Forgetting, Switching, Relying

- Mel

I do my own regular “thinking” recaps in my Weekly Therapy posts, so this Blogger, May I? post was a nice change of pace for today. Although, given I JUST RAN A HALF MARATHON (and finished a two-page paper for school soon after), my brain struggled through this a bit. But I like how the prompts can be reflective of different meanings, depending on the blogger.

Dwelling
It’s been six months since contractors wrecked my life in order to fix my house. They finally came back this week to touch up some “mistakes” and fix other issues — including changing the light in my entryway (which they ruined during the renovations).

The new light is beautiful!
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Helping
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I’d like to give back, since volunteering was something that had to take a backseat with school and work full-time and my full training schedule. I’ve been inspired by Project R.U.N., Kids of Steel, and Girls on the Run programs, and I hope that I can soon find my place to help make an impact about healthy lifestyle choices with kids in my community.

Forgetting
I’ve been consumed so much by this race that I keep forgetting that my birthday is next weekend (it’s also finals week, blech).

Switching
Time to switch gears: IT’S BIRTHDAY WEEK!

Relying
Relying on my group members this week to get me through this last week of projects and presentations! Have I mentioned how much I’m looking forward to Spring Break next week?

Weekly Therapy: “Everyday we have the opportunity to create a living masterpiece.”

- Mel

the week:
I had big plans for my week… but I cannot get over this stupid cold/sickness thing. Then I started having some weird mouth inflammation (I don’t know how to describe it) that I’m unsure if it’s illness-related or a food allergy (oh, god help me) or something else weirdly related to my getting two old silver cavities replaced a few weeks ago (mercury poisoning?).

In any event, I’d like some of feeling normal back, please.

weekend:
Off to Ohio for family and holiday things. And apparently some more winter-like temperatures. *groan* I’m also planning to run around Columbus for a couple short runs (maybe a portion of the Hot Chocolate 15k route?).

seven things, seven days:
1. The first Arts & Drafts event was AMAZING — and I wrote about it for Pittsburgh Happy Hour!
2. It was fun to get away from my desk at lunch one day this week too, even if Six Penn took away their daily pizza special (they have a great gluten-crust, be-tee-dubs).
3. So I officially submitted my derby retirement paperwork. Felt weird to make it “official,” but at least I don’t have to stress about being in some weird purgatory. And I can still attend practices and do contact if I want. And I can always go back full-speed if that’s what I decide to do. So… That’s that.
4. Placed an order with Bake Me Happy for some gluten-free goodies (and a full-size carrot cake) on my return to Ohio this weekend.
5. I had to find a new team already (in just Week #1) for group project in this HRM course; two people in my first selected group have already dropped the class (Imma guess it’s the phonebook-sized book).
6. I’m listening to this Rich Roll podcast with Michael Gervais (again) because it just has me stopped in my tracks. There is no doubt that performance psychology is where I want to go, in terms of education path.
7. How to stop buying crap you don’t need (like a box full of gluten-free sweets? NAH.). {via lifehacker}