Book Challenge

The books I loved (and hated) in 2019

- Mel

The Reading Challenge goal that I set for this year was 40 books. Why 40? Why the fuck not.

Dreadfully, as the year-end was closing in, I picked two of my least favorite books of the year. Alas, I have a lot of fun reads queued up for 2020 (and I might even finish another book before the end of the year). I am “done” with grad school books right now, so I’m aiming for another 52 books goal in 2020, as I did for my 2015 Reading Challenge.

Fun stat, courtesy of Goodreads
Average book length 311 pages

Exciting new finds: I am newly in love with historical fiction – despite my disliking Taylor Reid Jenkins’ Daisy Jones & The Six which made me oh.so.sad considering how much I adored The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo. That said, The Last Collection: A Novel of Elsa Schiaparelli and Coco Chanel was my fave of the year. I have The Glittering Hour waiting for me on my nightstand and I can’t wait to get into in 2020.

Best of the best: I continue to love the habit of thrillers as my bedtime read. But the BEST books I read this year were not thrillers.

My Top 3 Favorite Books of 2019:
#1 American Dirt
#2 A Good Neighborhood
#3 Rosie-Colored Glasses

All of these Favorites moved me emotionally to tears. American Dirt was so, so good. I wanted to savor that book for the entirety of the year. A Good Neighborhood – just as worthy of a read (and the tears). Somewhere within the first half of Rosie-Colored Glasses, I started getting a sense of what was happening in the main story arc… and I read the rest of the book with a lump in my throat. It positively broke my heart. I cried multiple times reading it – and was tearful for the rest of the day.

Best Non-Fiction:
It’s such a weird thing to have to separate, but here we go. Range: Why Generalists Triumph in a Specialized World, Educated, and Bad Blood: Secrets and Lies in a Silicon Valley Startup were wholly engrossing books that warrant added mentions. I described Range to a friend as having justified my entire existence. (If you read it, and you know me, you would understand.) The world was obsessed with the Elizabeth Holmes/Theranos scandal and woo-boy did this 339-page text spill allllll the tea. Educated is a must-read for that person who takes their education (and access to it) for granted. Probably, you. (Definitely me).

Biggest Disappointments:

  • Aforementioned Daisy Jones & The Six – at one point, after starting the book, I had to put it down… and came back to it a week later. Overall, the format was really distracting and the story disconnected. The author didn’t bring interest to any character. It was… boring. Although it did get better as I settled into the format (I ended giving it 3 stars), I was ultimately disappointed.
  • Three Women – what in the actual fuck with this book?! This is NOT a story about women’s desires. FULL STOP. This is a grossly over “reported” book about sexual trauma and shitty men (and their unfortunate women victims). It is not “deep.” It is depressing as fuck.
  • Yes, Please – so I waited too long to read this and I guess I wasn’t missing much. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • Calypso – I love David Sedaris, and this book was just not as memorable as his others. There were funny and really heartwarming moments of storytelling included, but it was not his best. Yes, comparison is the thief of joy and I expect a lot from him, my one true favorite writer.

Worst of the worst:
Oh god, Present Over Perfect was some of the most god(emphasis on god)-awful pandering bullshit that I have ever laid my eyes on (at least since I read that You Are a Badass horseshit last year). Bonus award to a book-that-shall-not-be-named because I was already called out once in public by the author when I publicly rated it online as terrible to which I succumbed to embarrassing pressure and anxiety and subsequently removed all ratings so as to not evoke further drama. Yes, seriously.

Reading Challenge: 2018 Books I’ve Read

- Mel

I already read quite a bit for grad school, but I still make time to read outside of my assignments. My Reading Challenge goal for 2018 was to finish two books per month – one fiction and one non-fiction – totaling 24 books for the year. I haven’t been including my textbooks, since I generally skip around chapters depending on weekly topics; though I have included books that are required readings and that I complete traditionally from beginning-to-end.

In any event, as of a couple days ago, I have completed my 2018 challenge!

Most of my book recommendations come from Goodreads and Book of the Month* membership, and I am back-logged a bit on titles (despite skipping a few months but also realizing that I pre-paid for a 6-month membership which… I guess has been revamped?).

Here are some of the books I finished (I didn’t list or review everything, but check out my Goodreads profile for all the books on my shelves!):

The Wife Between Us by Greer Hendricks – I think I spent all New Year’s Day reading/finishing this book. Solid suspense and storyline!

Peak Performance: Elevate Your Game, Avoid Burnout, and Thrive with the New Science of Success – I was hoping it would be heavier on the burnout stuff, but overall 5 STARS for those in the performance/sports space (or interested in those concepts). Stulberg and Magness have a knack for breaking down science for the masses.

One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter by Scaachi Koul – This is another one of those books where I feel that everyone else loves it, and I’m left feeling… empty. It was funny at times, but it wasn’t the expected belly laugh that others presented it to be.

Activating Happiness: A Jump-Start Guide to Overcoming Low Motivation, Depression, or Just Feeling Stuck by Rachel Hershenberg – Thanks to the publisher, New Harbinger, for sending a copy of this great non-fiction book about how to introduce happiness strategies to counteract low motivation and negative moods. Based on scientific research, there are some good takeaways – some new info and some you’ve probably heard before (given if you’re interested in this genre). I gave it 4 stars out of 5.

The Broken Girls by Simone St. James – This was a little departure from what I would normally read. The “ghost story” element of it got me too freaked out to read it when my husband was traveling and I was home alone. The ending was a surprise, despite a BUNCH of theories I developed along the way in reading. A very satisfying book (don’t read it home alone lol).

The Gift of Therapy: An Open Letter to a New Generation of Therapists and Their Patients by Irvin Yalom – This was an assigned read for my counseling course… which had me in tears as I finished the last page. It is SUCH a beautiful book! And if you work at all in the helping professions, I would highly encourage you to read it.

Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body – Despite finishing this book in March, I’m still thinking about it. I’m not sure if I liked it or not – which is probably #unpopularopinion. I’m not someone who connects to Gay’s writing but she has a powerful message to tell. The book is often very uncomfortable to read… and that is exactly why I would recommend it.

Not That I Could Tell by Jessica Strawser

Then She Was Gone by Lisa Jewell

The Weight of Silence by Heather Gudenkauf – One of my few 5-star ratings (for fiction) of the year. I randomly found out about this book from someone’s Instagram post. It has the added appeal for me, in that it takes place in a humid Iowa summer. It’s SO, SO good. Get yourself a copy from the library or buy used on Amazon.

Insight: Why We’re Not as Self-Aware as We Think, and How Seeing Ourselves Clearly Helps Us Succeed at Life and Work (YES, IT’S A MOUTHFUL! But I highly, HIGHLY recommend this book from Tasha Eurich – and not just because our last names sound the same. It’s my favorite non-fiction book of the year thus far.)

The Book of Essie by Meghan MacLean Weir – One of my BOTM selections that I was initially excited about… the daughter of a preacher – the family has a reality show – and a secret pregnancy, has all the makings for a fun drama. But ultimately the story fell flat for me.

How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety – One of my top favorites picks for the year so far! I really appreciated how Hendricksen broke down all the concepts and theories of social anxiety. I actually learned a lot more about myself (and my social anxiety) than I knew was connected to this disorder. I’m what you would probably call “high functioning” with my social anxiety at the present (if that is even a thing), but when it takes over, it COMPLETELY takes over my life that to the point where it is debilitating and (often) destructive. Thankfully, that’s not as often as it has been in years past.

Bring Me Back by B.A. Paris – The publisher sent me an advance copy of this book. I figured out the plot early on – and the further into the book, the more it felt like it was finished by someone else. Despite that, its manic diverging and writing kept me hooked through the end. Solid 3 stars.

The Favorite Sister by Jessica Knoll – I struggled with how many stars to give this book. Honestly, I didn’t care for the story or ANY of the characters. Why did I finish it?! I had it with me on my two-week internship trip to California, so I decided to stick with it. Two stars because the ending was a surprise, but FIVE OUT OF FIVE EYES ROLLING (I mean, even the characters were rolling their eyes constantly).

Meditation for Life by Justyn Comer – Not all meditation books are created equal, and they all have a unique purpose or perspective. Comer (by way of the publisher) was gracious enough to send me a copy, as I consume basically all the meditation books I can get my hands on (did you know that I’m taking mindful practice course as part of my graduate program?!). I found this book to be a practical and useful guide based on Comer’s own experiences. A great resource for anyone curious about a meditative practice and how mindfulness can bring you fulfillment in various ways.

Mindful Framing – mehhhhhhhh. Double meh because the author called me out in a comment on my Goodreads review basically stating it was impossible to finish his book (and that I lacked the intelligence to digest the “complex set of… ideas”) in one sitting. Just… ew.

Sweet Little Lies by Caz Frear

Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn – the third book I’ve read from Kabat-Zinn. If you’re ready to go deeper into the what and how of mindfulness, his books are like the gold standard!

Baby Teeth by Zoje Stage – I received an advance copy from the publisher and BOYYYY was this a weird book! Some of the story felt wholly unbelievable at times but I couldn’t wait to finish it. AND because it was written by a Pittsburgh-based author, I got a few fun snippets of nostalgia.

Cross Her Heart by Sarah Pinborough – Solid 3.5 stars. Something about her books really irritate me; like, the endings or final chapters all feel like a rush to publish. What was really an engaging book at the start got more unfamiliar and, well, stupid the further I read. I liked the characters better in Cross Her Heart than in Behind Her Eyes, but in both books I haven’t really had an honest connection that lasted throughout. Some eye-rolling, but would still recommend for a suspenseful read.

Here is the book that I rolled my eyes at and didn’t both finishing because OH GOD IT’S SO TERRIBLE:

You Are a Badass – I won’t even link to it and give it more thought and space. There are SO many better books out in this space that synthesize the tools for “being a better you.” Read one of those instead.

Follow through for my Goodreads Book Challenge page to click through all the individual books – and add me as a friend! I obviously plan to read beyond my challenge goal – I’m aiming for 30 books finished by the end of the year.

*Referral links are included in this post: For BOTM: if you join, I get a free book! On Amazon, I get a small earning… which I’ll probably use on more books.

On Meditation and Other Habits That Have Fallen to the Wayside

- Mel

I sustained a 90-day daily meditation streak. And on Day 91, I opened my Headspace app in bed – as I previously mentioned my intent at moving my practice to another time of day and hahahahahahahaha JUST KIDDING – and proceeded to fall asleep. Before actually doing the meditation.

The streak was broken. All I had to do was restart on Day 92. But May 13 came and went. Aside from a mid-flight relaxation session while traveling to Vancouver, I haven’t done a single meditation exercise since.

Funny thing about habits, eh?

(Apparently my Canadien accent is still hanging on.)

Spring quarter really killed my motivation for meditation, my daily bedtime and morning coffee reading rituals, and my run schedule. I even stopped my meal tracking. I mean, I have certainly filled the void with other types of exercise and fun and way too much scrolling and trolling social media and even playing stupid games on my phone called “Toon Blast.” While I allowed myself the freedom to just do “whatever,” the structure of a training plan and daily habits kept me balanced (and really, really helps me sleep better). Plus I was making excuses: I’m not training for anything right now, so I don’t need to run at all or track my food. And because I wasn’t training for anything and wasn’t tracking my food, I was eating sandwiches for several meals a day and not eating my healthier lunch salads. And on and on.

Why is it so hard to restart habits? It’s not about motivation, FYI. I truly believe that action begets motivation. Though introducing so many components at once is setting up for overwhelm and, possibly, failure. The key is to integrate small pieces at a time.

My training schedule for my fall 50K started this week, and I’m committed to seeing to that race as a strong participant (and working with a coach who takes the guessing game of training plans out of the equation and out of my mental space). I have re-introduced my morning book with my coffee and slowly working on getting to bed at an earlier time for my nighttime reading. Though I’m on summer break, I am slowly returning to my books and notes and fellow cohorts to prepare for my upcoming internship. Summer break has been a good opportunity to reconnect with friends and be super social. And also kickstart how I want to use my minutes. Oh, hi! I’m also here again, too, hoping to reinvigorate my regular blogging habit.

I leave for two weeks in late July and will be wholly uprooted from my comfort and quiet zones, and my intention is to have my habits firmly in place by then. Though I will be in a different location and I will be sharing a coffee maker with WHO KNOWS how many people in a Bay area hostel, I can bring my habits (and my books) with me.