Weekly Therapy: Don’t do it to be remembered; do it to be yourself.

August 5, 2016 - Mel 2 Comments

the week:
My Grandma from my mom’s side passed away this week, so that was really hard — especially because I wasn’t able to be with my family in Ohio. I’m also having a difficult time processing that I have no grandmothers left. I mean, compared to others my age, I feel so lucky that I had my grandparents in my life for as long as I did. But it’s still some heavy stuff. And well, I’m sad.

weekend:
Laying low, running in high temperatures (UGH, yesterday’s heat index was 105. ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE. I don’t live in Arizona anymore, what the heck). Tonight, we’re making a bunch of appetizers like it’s the Super Bowl and WATCHING THE OLYMPICS!!!!!!! (!!!!)

12 books in 12 months:
Quite different than my 52 books goal from last year, my 10th completed book of the year was He Wanted the Moon (courtesy of Blogging for Books). This book was unique, in that it told the story of a doctor who lost everything to his mental illness — mostly told through his own letters, discovered by his daughter years after his death. An impressive yet difficult look inside the brain of someone with what is now commonly known as manic depressive disorder. At times, it was painful to keep pace with the race of Dr. Baird’s thoughts — an uncomfortableness paired with a bit of knowing what likely comes next. It was by no means a “happy” book, so I found the content hard to read every night before bed; but over my lazy weekends, it was an enjoyable read.

seven things, seven days:
1. I got selected to be a BibRave Pro – I’m so excited about this ambassadorship and to expand my running community! More on this in a different post.
2. Oh HEY, are you a Des Moines-area blogger? Buy tickets for the Go Blog Social event at the Hotel Renovo on September 10!
3. One of my cats was hiding from the thunderstorms this week, and we couldn’t find him. He’s 17 pounds and all white. He was in the back of the kitchen pantry. Oh, Rudy.
4. Had my first round of interviews for the job I posted for (phone interview). I think I meet the minimum requirements, so here’s to the next round!
5. OOOOF. This story looks at another viewpoint of Big Goals: Can you survive the crushing feeling of seeing your Olympic dream die?
6. Can personality be changed? {via The Atlantic}
7. RATS! Running doesn’t make rats forgetful {via Science News}

Week(s) of Therapy: take some time for reflection and relaxation

September 27, 2013 - Mel

the week:
With 3 wins out of 4 games in our Division 1 tournament in Asheville (whew, tough games!), our derby travel season for 2013 comes to a close. Bittersweet, knowing that some skaters won’t be returning next season. This was really an amazing (and long) year of roller derby. So proud to be part of this team and league. But also so ready to give my body a rest.

Also, Asheville? What a strange, and beautiful place.

The Biltmore estate is incredible, however.

weekend:
I dunno… something about a Duck.

seven things, seven days:
1. Painful loss of a friend who had some struggles in recent years. I hope now that he’s found some peace. But it’s so tragic, and I’m still in shock.
2. Home & Garden tour in our neighborhood was a success! What we’ve labored over outdoors (and that will soon be covered in fall leaves and then snow) is completed and shown to hundreds of nebby strangers. 🙂
3. I had several emails about my submitted resume and phone calls from recruiters while I was gone. GAH! I can’t believe it, all at once.
4. Love, love, LOVE my new New Balance Minimus cross trainers; they are so light and comfortable (even with a weird food injury right now). They are made with Vibram style outsole, but without the separated toe thing. Maybe there’s something behind this barefoot running…
5. Completed my month-long CrossFit fundamentals classes (and did my first WOD with the regular class)! I’m totally pumped about it (and kinda getting used to the wake-up-at-5am thing).
6. As someone particularly interested in human sexuality, this Kinsey reporter app has incredible data about sexual behaviors. (And you can add your own!)
7. Do sexy breast cancer campaigns demean women? Short answer: yep. {via psychology today}

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Lost.

July 19, 2013 - Mel

So, I’ve been missing… I know. Let’s just say there has been a lot of emotional turmoil within a few months. The whole skin cancer thing really messed me up. I can’t explain why because on the surface it’s really nothing — or maybe I’m just trying to tell myself that — and I probably need to have my own therapist to work through it. While my scar is healing, the emotional part isn’t.

Bookending that: Three months ago, I lost my grandfather. Then, last month my grandmother went to hospice — she has been in steady decline over the last few years due to Alzheimer’s, and ended up in hospice after falling and breaking her hip (and not recovering from the surgery). Thankfully, we each had our own moments of clarity with her before she passed a few weeks later, which I will never forget.

Losing grandparents three months apart is heartbreaking, and it’s sad to think this might be the eventual separation of family. My grandmother was a huge part of my life — she’s honestly the reason why I was immersed in, well, everything growing up: ballet, piano lessons, art, theater, traveling. She’s also where I get all my strength. That woman was amazing. My grandfather, equally so. Their lives were full of love (married 70 years!) and family, and both were such open, gracious, genuine people. It’s a huge emptiness to deal with.

It’s no wonder that my relationship has suffered too. It’s too much stress and sadness for one person, and there’s only one person to bear the brunt of all that. Sad, but true. I’m working on it though.

For now, I feel lost.

Weekly Therapy: grieving, traveling, remembering…

March 28, 2013 - Mel

the week:
This week started out rough, with my grandfather’s viewing and funeral. So much sadness. I’m sure you’ll pardon my absence.
I have to add though that it was wonderful seeing my sisters and family all together, considering the gloomy circumstances. I wish I could see them every weekend…

We found this letter to my grandmother on the back of a photo (a picture of my grandfather in his military uniform).

weekend:
Trying to get back to a hint of normalcy (and catching up on work). We have Book of Mormon tickets for Friday night. I’ve been anticipating this show for nearly a year. So. Exited.

Saturday, our home team had some “closure” with an end-of-season brunch, which I’m hosting. And I’m much less stressed out socializing in the morning than the evening. Weird, right? #partybrunch

Alas, on Easter I’m working (hangovers!), but the boyfriend promised to bring me home some hrutka. SOMEBODY better also bring me some Cadbury eggs.

seven things, seven days:
1. FINALLY got reservations at Cure — and wow, what a meal! (SALUMI. All Caps.)
2. Remind me to tell you about the time the gate came crashing down onto my car in the EZpass lane on the turnpike.
3. One-point loss in our Detroit game. An amazing game for us, nonetheless. Bonus: after party at Atwater Brewing!
4. Received my Spring Mystery Box from Julep. I am completely obsessed with their polish and products!
5. And then the post office lost YET ANOTHER box that I “missed” being delivered to my house. Their answer: “We don’t know where it is.” SERIOUSLY.
6. Side note: ALL OF THE DESSERTS. I cannot resist you.
7. Your psychology refresher from PsychCentral, the Five Stages of Loss and Grief (Kubler-Ross model)