goals

Weekly Therapy: “Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell”

- Mel

the week:
Man, was it difficult to return to work this week! I felt like I hit a wall every day around 3pm and not even espresso could help me recover.

Seeing as how we’re already a week into the new year, I’m spending some time reflecting on 2016 and the areas in which to focus this year. I also have to write my annual review (due next week, GAH!), which has always been a struggle for me — despite keeping regular notes of my successes throughout the year. I feel like my head is constantly spinning!

Does anyone else have a journal that they keep on them to “brain dump” throughout the week? Mine is mostly a giant book of to-do lists, but I feel crazy if I don’t get the running list out of my head.

weekend:
Still no working treadmill, so I need to decide if I’m bundling up for the great outdoors this weekend or making extra trips to my gym. *groan*

I’m going to love the shit out of my massage on Sunday. And maybe I’ll go to ULTA and spend my Christmas money.

seven things, seven days:
1. Visit two with my stylist this week, and she was able to correct how much red was pulling in my hair. Going back to “natural” from platinum blonde is a process and remind me of this when I want to go lighter again.
2. The Limited is closing. 🙁
3. Some great tips to beat the running blues… if you’ve lost your mojo. {via Mizuno Running}
4. Old habits die hard – how to really change your life in 2017, per Gretchen Rubin {via The Guardian}
5. OMG check out these old runners advertisements from ADIDAS.
6. Have an ultra on your challenge list for 2017? READ THIS >> A Century or Bust: 100-Mile Lessons
7. The Kaizen approach — and how to be 1% better every day {via Medium}

Weekly Therapy: It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

- Mel

the week:
Is anyone else having a mild freakout over the fact that Christmas is less than 10 days away? Not only is it beginning to LOOK a lot like Christmas, it’s starting to feel like it with the sub-freezing temperatures and snow warnings. Since the Hitchcock half marathon last weekend (and after training for multiple races since July), I’m on a little recovery period from running — likely through Christmas. Though I’m already feeling really antsy about not running, naturally.

weekend:
NOTHING.

I mean, it will include a lot of fleece and hot chocolate and being very near a heating vent, but… with way below negative temps expected, I don’t intend to do much of anything.

seven things, seven days:
1. So there’s a company locally that puts up Christmas lights, and we hired them to decorate our house. It makes me smile with glee every time I pull into my driveway.
2. I lucked out on a one-day sale online and scored a j crew handbag at 40% off (a little xmas gift to myself).
3. Had a wonderful holiday gathering at Alba this week — an excellent restaurant in the East Village.
4. We got an invite to a special preview of the new Star Wars. I got to meet R2D2! I’ve never been to a Star Wars opening night, so that was exciting!
5. Really interesting insight into achieving what’s really important to you: The difference between goals and systems. {via James Clear}
6. When it comes to success, age is just a number. Bottom line: NEVER give up. {via NYT Science}
7. How to run 100 miles. OH, IS THAT ALL. {via Red Bulletin}

Weekly Therapy: Don’t do it to be remembered; do it to be yourself.

- Mel 2 Comments

the week:
My Grandma from my mom’s side passed away this week, so that was really hard — especially because I wasn’t able to be with my family in Ohio. I’m also having a difficult time processing that I have no grandmothers left. I mean, compared to others my age, I feel so lucky that I had my grandparents in my life for as long as I did. But it’s still some heavy stuff. And well, I’m sad.

weekend:
Laying low, running in high temperatures (UGH, yesterday’s heat index was 105. ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE. I don’t live in Arizona anymore, what the heck). Tonight, we’re making a bunch of appetizers like it’s the Super Bowl and WATCHING THE OLYMPICS!!!!!!! (!!!!)

12 books in 12 months:
Quite different than my 52 books goal from last year, my 10th completed book of the year was He Wanted the Moon (courtesy of Blogging for Books). This book was unique, in that it told the story of a doctor who lost everything to his mental illness — mostly told through his own letters, discovered by his daughter years after his death. An impressive yet difficult look inside the brain of someone with what is now commonly known as manic depressive disorder. At times, it was painful to keep pace with the race of Dr. Baird’s thoughts — an uncomfortableness paired with a bit of knowing what likely comes next. It was by no means a “happy” book, so I found the content hard to read every night before bed; but over my lazy weekends, it was an enjoyable read.

seven things, seven days:
1. I got selected to be a BibRave Pro – I’m so excited about this ambassadorship and to expand my running community! More on this in a different post.
2. Oh HEY, are you a Des Moines-area blogger? Buy tickets for the Go Blog Social event at the Hotel Renovo on September 10!
3. One of my cats was hiding from the thunderstorms this week, and we couldn’t find him. He’s 17 pounds and all white. He was in the back of the kitchen pantry. Oh, Rudy.
4. Had my first round of interviews for the job I posted for (phone interview). I think I meet the minimum requirements, so here’s to the next round!
5. OOOOF. This story looks at another viewpoint of Big Goals: Can you survive the crushing feeling of seeing your Olympic dream die?
6. Can personality be changed? {via The Atlantic}
7. RATS! Running doesn’t make rats forgetful {via Science News}

Sunday Lately for this 30-Something:: Week 76

- Mel 2 Comments

Blogger Tribe_Sunday Lately Sunday, Sunday, SUNDAY! Sunday Lately is a weekly linkup hosted by the Blogger Tribe (lead by Angelica, Meghan, Nicole, and Katy). And the rest of us in the Blogger Tribe are sharing our posts today, too. The prompts for June 12 (Week 76) :: Planning, Loving, Reading, Wishing, Feeling.

Catch up and read all of my past Sunday Lately posts and camp out with the Tribe on Facebook!

Planning:: out my running bibs and medals wall! I’m so excited that I have the space to put up all of my memories in my workout room, and I’ve already made some purchases to help pull this whole thing together. There was a lot of great inspiration out there on Pinterest, and I can’t wait to lay mine all out. I also plan to include some items from my roller derby days. It will be an inspiration wall to hopefully lead to motivation in keeping my new goals on track!

With that, I’m also starting to plan out my training for the IMT Des Moines Half Marathon in October, including finding some run groups and group runs in the area.

Loving:: I am loving the crap (pun intended?) out of my morning coffee routine. So much so, that I find myself willing my brain to sleep with the promise of waking up to the warmth of a delicious black drink. I’m still mostly keeping to my “no coffee after noon” rule at work, but LOVE weekends when IDGAF I’M DRINKING MORE COFFEE.

Reading:: I’m in the middle of two different books right now: In the Name of Gucci: A Memoir (hardcover) and We’re All Damaged (Kindle book).

After finally catching up on my Shape and Running World magazines last night, I’m also reading about some TRX upper body workouts to crank out this week, now that I finally set up the system in my workout room. NEARLY A YEAR AFTER BUYING IT.

Wishing:: that I could figure out my living room arrangement. I spent an hour making minor chair adjustments… and something is just not working. I bought a slipcover for the black leather sofa, but it’s much more blue than gray, which probably has something to do with throwing off the color balance in the room. But it feels haphazard and OMG it’s what I struggled with for the duration of the time in our Pittsburgh house — it never felt right!

I’m considering pulling out the leather sofa to see how the room feels without it (which would then both leave us with less sitting area and an empty space along the window). And then it might be another call into 1-800-Got-Junk. I HAVE NO IDEA.

Feeling:: I’m feeling a little nervous about this bike ride we’re doing next weekend. While it’s a day-long event with multiple stops along the route (BACON!), it’s still 78 miles in total, and uh… I haven’t been on a bike at all this season.

Weekly Therapy: Merry Christmas, everyone!

- Mel

the week:
It was a two-day work week for me, and I cannot explain to you how exciting it is that I don’t have to return to the office until January 4. After the last couple years of working most holidays and/or their surrounding days (including NYE AND New Year’s Day, the day after Christmas, Easter, etc.), this is a special treat this year. I don’t have to rush through Christmas celebrations and travel because of worrying about work the next day.

Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas!

weekend:
Duh, I’ll be playing with all of my new toys!

52 books in 52 weeks:
#50: American Savage by Dan Savage — I received this book as a Christmas gift last year and it’s been sitting on my nightstand… well, for about a year. I probably would have enjoyed it more last year when I was eager to read it. Overall, I felt the message was pretty redundant, especially if you already read the Savage Love column and listen to his podcast (which I don’t even do either anymore).

seven things, seven days:
1. My friend was kind enough to drop off some gluten-free pizzelles over the weekend, and… OMG I HAVE SO MANY COOKIES.
2. Cookies for breakfast, cookies for lunch, cookies for snack…
3. The party we went to last Friday was seriously one of the BEST parties I’ve been to since moving to Pittsburgh where I knew NOBODY, besides my boyfriend. Every single person that I mingled with was so interesting and friendly. And we all got turns to ride a hoverboard in the hallway.
4. Totally missed the boat on putting a selfie stick on my gift list this year! Dang it.
5. Listening to Christmas music in the shower in the morning has done wonders for my holiday spirit. 🙂
6. James Clear on mental toughness and the Marathon Monks If you commit to nothing, you’ll be distracted by everything. I’ve read about the Kaihogyo 1,000-day challenge before, and I particularly like James’ lessons from which to apply to our own lives and goal-setting.
7. There’s no excuse to be bored? Ehhhhh. How boredom is becoming anything but boring {via Dallas News}

Setting up habits for 2016 resolutions

- Mel

You know that saying about not waiting to make changes? How January 1 shouldn’t be the impetus for life changes — and that you should start making good habits TODAY?

Baby steps, people. Yes, I do agree that a date on the calendar is widely misused as a placeholder for resolutions. So whether you decide that January 1 or your half-birthday is the day that you want to set some new goals for yourself, have at it. But real, honest change will come if you start doing something now. Like, NOW now. I’m not saying that your life will instantly change in that moment, but if you want something new or different to take place, do something right this second that leads to that eventual start date.

Say for example that your resolution is to “lose weight” in 2016 — do you have an exercise plan, have you consulted with your doctor, have you researched the monthly cost and/or joined a gym, hired a trainer or nutritionist, pinned some healthier meal options on Pinterest, or thrown out all your gross processed stuff in the freezer? And what does “lose weight” mean? I hope your goal is SMART or CLEAR. I guess there are HARD goals now as well. Do you at least know how to increase your chances at success? Doesn’t it feel SO OVERWHELMING?

Baby steps. One foot in front of the other. One day at at time. Write a to-do list. Buy some new sneakers.

So, yeah, I have goals for 2016 — quite a few, actually. But if I don’t start changing some of my bad habits now, I will be setting myself up for a mess of frustration on January 1. And likely, failure, by March 15. I can’t let my already-good habits go by the wayside either.

An example of my own baby steps? Waking up at my first alarm. NOT sleeping through five different alarms. I’m seven days in! This will lead to a bigger goal. But for now? I get to celebrate some small successes (and hopefully help my sleep schedule out a little in the meantime).

More reading:
Mind Tools has a bunch of articles about goals. Check out this article about personal goal setting. There are some great explanations about the different methods (with more links to further explain) and questions to ask yourself before you get started with the process. And if you have a coach or mentor (or are one), I personally like use of the GROW model.

Weekly Therapy: Habit wins every time.

- Mel

the week:
My anxiety has been calming, though my concentration factor is nil. So… see you next week!

weekend:
If you’ve been playing along, you know that I’m running a marathon this weekend. Which I will be pulling along my boyfriend for observation who is also celebrating his birthday. Poor guy/what-a-guy. 🙂

52 books in 52 weeks:
#35 Aziz Ansari: Modern Romance — hey, this was a fun book! Aziz cracks me up and the dating research and focus groups feedback made for an entertaining read.

seven things, seven days:
1. Went to Arts & Drafts again this week because Beauty Slap was performing…
2. … and we ended up with some new artwork.
3. I bought my second pair of Cobb Hill boots. They are SO COMFORTABLE — even the heels, in walking over a mile to work. And I just found out that they are made by New Balance!
4. Do you use Evernote? Let me know about your favorite features. Trying to figure out if it’s for me.
5. Give it up: Grit… isn’t all that great. Well, this is interesting. {via The Atlantic}
6. This was totally written for me, but maybe it resonates with you too: How to prioritize, pursue goals and focus when you have many interests. {via Tiny Buddha}
7. Who Am I Without My Uterus? You must read this. {via Huffington Post}

Dream Big, Goal Small

- Mel

I have a problem with goals. It’s not that I don’t have successes or savor my achievements, I just think goal-setting in the linear model isn’t a one-size-fits-all scenario. To even have goals in the first place, we must dream big. But big goals? That’s not going to work. I also have a problem with A, B, and yes, C goals, which I’ll cover at the end of this breathless rant.

This will probably challenge your thinking a bit, so I hope you’ll play along.

You’ve likely encountered the acronym for SMART goals: specific, measurable, attainable, relative, timely (or time-BOUND… ack). And if your goals are not SMART enough, you’re dumb. We’re going about this all wrong.

Let’s look at it this way — a DOGMA, if you will: dynamic, observational, growth, monitor, authentic.

dogma, goal-setting

Way to really personalize the goals process, right? Because goal-setting shouldn’t be about over-qualifying and dialing in the specificity so much that we turn ourselves into obsessive-compulsive robots. Also, I hate the word measurable — you are not a stat; you are a human being. SMART goals might work for businesses, but you are not being publicly traded (I hope). You might not be able to determine a beginning and an end, but aren’t goals meant to be built on top of previous successes? There’s something that I read recently — I think it was on Humans of New York — about a man who was so focused on climbing Everest and reaching the summit that he never stopped to experience the process or the experience leading up to his adventure. When things went wrong, as they’re wont to do, and he didn’t reach the top, his dream was left unfulfilled and he was left… empty. As though he accomplished nothing. YEARS of life felt like a waste because he could not attain that end-point.

That’s not how goals should be. (After some growth, he now knows it too.)

We need goals; we also need to dream big, otherwise life would probably get kind of boring.

My DOGMA (yes, I made this up) is accepting of change, reliant on support of others while being perceptive, a positive learning experience alongside a process of development; goals that you require you to be in tune with your sense of self, your values, your fears, and your needs (it’s always about the needs!) and listening to your mind and body while reviewing your progress. This isn’t (and shouldn’t be) about what others want for you. These are YOUR principles.

For that matter, these are mine. And those are the tenets of my goal-setting process. I should probably write a book about them.

Side note: A, B, and C goals ARE SETTING YOU UP TO FAIL. Or to be really, really mediocre. Who wants to be mediocre? No, you want to feel accomplished, and that emotion only happens when you attain to that A goal. THE MAIN GOAL. B and C are complacency goals that give you clearance for fucking up. Which, THAT’S OK TOO. I will be in that line to tell you that failing is good. You know what failure is? Authenticity. A motivator. Drive to try again. NOT SETTLING. Changing things up. But you should never go head-first into a goal by placing tiers of failure.

How do you set and manage your dreams and goals?

This post is part of this month’s Blogger, May I? and today’s prompt is A Big Dream/Goal.

Additional reading: Narrow misses can propel us towards other rewards and goals

30 Days, 30 Posts Challenge: COMPLETE!

- Mel

And here is December! Whew. I did it! I published 30 posts in 30 days. Even with a vacation and a road trip under my belt for November! Yes, I subsequently took a couple days soon after the 11/30 deadline.

What I hoped to achieve:
Find this blog’s direction and purpose. Find other bloggers (especially other therapists or counselors, or wannabes, in their 30s) in my niche. Find if the topics I wrote about — or were interested in — would resonate with 30-something Readers.

What I learned:
I was devoted. I was determined to finish. I even made some new online friends. When put to task and under stress and the all-too-ubiquitous “I’m busy,” I had something to prove — to you or to me?! Isn’t that kind of statement always some kind of unnecessary pressure to ourselves to complete goals?

Well, because of all that, I have a new passion: to share my personal experiences and lifestyle as a 30-something woman to evoke a reaction, a response — heck, a follow-ship! And thank you for reading along.

Going forward:
More guest posts like this. More pictures. Regularly-scheduled themed posts like this. And this. MORE 30-something awesomeness. Definitely more shoes.

Did you participate in either Nanowrimo or the 30 Days of Posts challenges? Leave your blog link in the comments!