home sweet home

What is home?

- Mel

The concept of home is something I’ve struggled with since I first left Cleveland in 2004-ish. It was a brief “pack everything I own and drive across the country” relocation that found me returning to Ohio approximately 8 weeks later. Tail between the legs, financially broke, romantically heartbroken, et al., ad nauseam, shit you go through in your 20s when you try to run away from your problems both figuratively and literally.

I moved away “for good” over 9 years ago – first, living in Pittsburgh for 6 years, and now the Des Moines area for over 3 1/2 years. I’ve had varying degrees of emotional attachment to Cleveland since relocating. When we lived in Pennsylvania, it was an easy road trip several times a year. I struggled with feeling disconnected, particularly after my grandparents passed away. There was no longer an open drop-in location. Going back to Ohio meant the trappings of stress, anxiety, not recognizing anyone anymore when we went out… guilt. I was determined to make this Pittsburgh-is-my-home identity my replacement.

I mean, it mostly worked… except for falling back in love with the Browns and clinging hardily to that fandom amongst a sea of everything black-and-gold. WHO EXPECTED THAT?!

Now, living in Iowa, we’re required to take at least two flights to get back to Ohio. The trips are fewer – at least once per year, but sometimes twice. The travel stress is different, and after setting boundaries and a rotating holiday schedule a few years ago, the feelings of guilt have dissipated. I’ve started to cry at the airport the last two times I’ve left, including this most recent trip over the weekend. It was such a wonderful homecoming for a cousin’s wedding that included none of the tug-of-war for visitation. We all had to be at the same place at the same time, and most of us (ahem) were on time.

“Where are you from?” people ask when I say I’m not from Iowa. It usually starts with, “Well, I moved here from Pittsburgh…” or “Originally from Cleveland, but I was in Pittsburgh for six years before here.” The definition of home is kinda fuzzy, but I find myself more using Ohio as my answer. I can still shit on its insistence that it is the midwest (because I’m from there and it is NOT). Sure, I get sad when I leave, mostly because of honest-to-goodness happy memories that were made. But I can also honestly say that I don’t miss it, especially when I return to Des Moines and I am bursting of love of this place we’ve made our new home.

It’s a complicated relationship.

Let’s talk about Iowa

- Mel

Best small cities to live in. Source: WalletHub

Can you find Iowa on the map?
Yeah, admittedly, when we went for our first visit, we couldn’t either.

While not specifically mentioned in my Life List, I wanted to move outside of Ohio in my 30s. Actually, I wanted to in my 20s too, which I did, albeit temporarily, to Phoenix in 2004. We relocated five years ago to Pittsburgh and have loved it immensely — first living downtown before the big “boom” of the Cultural District and then living in an amazing neighborhood where we were able to sell our house in 9 days (!!!). I wrote about my conflicted experiences about “home” last year, then removed the post, because… there was something that made me feel unsettled about it; and with time for reflection, I think I finally know why. I want to move.

This last year has proved overwhelming at living a city lifestyle. For some reason, my desire for a more suburban, smaller (quiet) life is at critical mass. Maybe it’s age? Maybe it’s my social anxiety? Maybe it’s the noise… yeah, it’s partially the noise and the feeling that I’m drowning in busy-ness constantly. Maybe it’s just that a vibrant city life has worn out its welcome (on, in my opinion, is experiencing a “too big for its britches” moment). Maybe I miss the Midwest? And horses. I miss the horses.

We traveled to Des Moines in January to start the conversation about possible relocation — to learn about the city, shop houses with a Realtor… we even scheduled an executive tour of the downtown area and its suburbs. And since you now know about our official announcement, we obviously fell in love with our new home! So, we’re on the horizon of a move that’s quickly approaching.

The expressions on most friends’ faces (and the WTF comments) when they hear we’re moving to Des Moines tells us that most people don’t know much about Iowa. So, here’s a few articles to get you started:

How America’s Dullest City Got Cool {via Politico}
Iowa’s Heartland beyond the campaign trail {via NYT}
I’m not a hipster, but… Do the most hipster thing possible and move to Des Moines {via The Atlantic}
30 Things to Know Before Moving to Iowa {via Movoto blog}

Weekend Therapy: a new coat of paint

- Mel

the week:
Painting. Every morning at 7am… but the end result is incredible. I can’t wait to share before and after photos.

weekend:
Meh. Working all weekend. And putting my house back together.

seven things, seven days:
1. Speaking of paint and color: Where Men See White, Women See Ecru {from Smithsonian Mag}
2. Finally became an REI member (no clue why I waited so long)
3. Daylight Savings ends this weekend… FML.
4. Torturing myself beyond reprieve, I purchased TWO boxes of Girl Scouts cookies (Samoas, natch) that I cannot eat until Easter Sunday (at least I smart about that latter part).
5. Found a box of Stonewall Kitchen’s apple cider doughnuts mix at my local supermarket too. SO GOOD. (check out their website for other delicious and all natural baking mixes)
6. Too cute: This little girl is doing a Science project on the “Garfield Syndrome.” If you have a tabby cat, you should help her out!
7. From the bloggess: Xanax makes me a better mom…

Happy Anniversary to our Home!

- Mel

Yep, we moved into our new house one year ago today… on Halloween. Barely getting the movers out before the trick-or-treaters started to show.

Sold!

Of COURSE, we had candy ready and pillows on the couch the first night. The real treat for us was grilling out, considering the years we lived downtown and couldn’t have a gas grill.

The place looks a little different and certainly feels lived in and cozy. The cats seemingly love the three stories and all of the stairs. True story: I had sore calf muscles for the first three months getting adjusted to all of the steps. I’m STILL getting used to those damn etched glass doors. It’s been quite the year. I mean, the kitchen took nearly 4 months to finish. [ed note: still not finished]

Even with the small renovations that we were able to accomplish this year, the list of things we still need/want to do seems overwhelming. That bathroom will get a facelift this year if I have to get a third job to do it!

I’ll certainly share more pictures soon.

It’s good to be home.