the corniest

Farm Report: 8.23.19

- Mel

I missed the Adel Corn Festival AGAIN because I was out on a weekender in Dubuque – my 3rd trip to the city since moving to Iowa. And I find more fun and interesting things to do there with each visit. Plus, it reminds me of Pittsburgh in a lot of ways, so it’s a big whiff of nostalgia for me. OMG THEY HAVE INCLINE?!

Dubuque incline
Just as terrifying as the incline in Pittsburgh.

the corn dog truth

Speaking of Pittsburgh, Hitchhiker Brewing made a collaboration beer: Hitchhiker x Walter’s Southern Kitchen team up for “Hard Corn”

Iowa brewer Court Avenue Restaurant + Brewing Company had a CORN DOG beer that coincided with the Iowa State Fair (of course!)… which was, sadly, sold out by the time I got my corn husks to the fair.

midwest shenanigans

I FINALLY WENT TO THE FAIR! The Iowa State Fair did NOT disappoint, and I can’t wait to go back next year. Obviously, it was impossible to see and eat everything in one day – so I look forward to more multi-day annual adventures.

Iowa State Fair - Heartland Transplant

In other Iowan news, we bought a house! Well… we bought another house! We found one for sale in a Des Moines neighborhood that we love – that is just outside of downtown, and I am positively thrilled. We closed this week and move in the first week of September. I am no longer a suburbanite and officially a Des Moinesian. Des Moiner? And OMG I can walk to Harbinger. 🤤

Farm Report: 11.3.18

- Mel

much to do about candy corn

Science tells us why we can’t stop eating all that damn candy. Shut up and give me those mallowcreme pumpkins.

If you’re reading this from outside the metro Des Moines area, did you know that we weirdos celebrate trick-or-treating a day early? The tradition is called Beggar’s Night and historical lore tells us that it was to curb the the not-so-harmless tricks (like vandalism and breaking shit) that occurred the night of Halloween. I’m not sure how that logic works creating a “new” holiday the night before, but the costumed kids are adorable because they tell you jokes.

candy corn and pumpkins halloween candy gimme
Mmmmm… corn syrup.

winter tires are here again

The Changing of the Tires came so fast. Though I am exceptionally happy for my favoritest time of year (besides the fact that my car’s winter tires are seriously fug). I have been tossing around the idea of getting a fat bike this year to continue my biking obsession through winter here in Iowa (I have been riding my bike 4-5 times a week for the last couple months). There is a pretty large bike community in Des Moines – and I’ve seen a few Fat Bikes on the trails here – and, well, I just want to continue playing in the snow in as many ways as possible.

What’s the over/under on accumulation this year?

midwest shenanigans*

*Now with more road trips! Running has already taken me to random points in Iowa and beyond by way of road tripping for races and places to get additional elevation gain. Now with roller derby back in my life, I’m exploring back road towns and B-roads even more (and let me tell you, my performance tires are NOT happy). Last month, I took another trip to Dubuque (that there-and-back and also playing a derby bout was a little painful). Last weekend I was in Vinton. This weekend, I’m off to the Quad Cities. And then the following weekend, I might be playing in a mixer scrimmage in Milwaukee and visiting some of my favorite Brewcity skaters (and definitely going a day early so that I can go to Alt Brew in Madison on the way).

What gluten-free brewery or restaurant suggestions do you got for Milwaukee?

Farm Report: 10.5.18

- Mel

A few years ago, I started making a conscious effort in stopping use of the phrase: I’m so busy. Because, like, we all are. We’re busy with what we choose to prioritize in our lives – and that is OK. It looks different on all of us. There is a negative connotation with explaining to the world and answering “how’s life?” with “BUSY!” And, well, I don’t like that trap. Also, no, I am not the type of person who will answer “I am happily prioritizing all my Life Things this month!”

I’m a work in progress.

There are seasons where prioritizing is difficult and there are more Life Things than usual and something has to give. The beginning of fall requires a LOT of time management (and packing extra clothes and changing in my car) because I am often bouncing from one thing to the next.

If I leave you with anything with this message, it’s: BE KIND TO YOURSELF. The corn will be planted before we know it.

pumpkin spice everything

basic bumpkin

Sweet Corn season is done. In fact, corn season is done completely. The final signal to summer’s end is the mowing down of the corn fields and eating pumpkin spice Cheerios.

Also, you must watch this: Pumpkin Spice Everything with Adam Rippon

There is only a week or two left of Farmer’s Market season. I had to wear fleece while I was coaching this week. The Harvest Moon is waning. This week also starts fall semester of my second week of grad school. Time to light up the fire pits and burn last year’s syllabi. 🤘

midwest shenanigans

A couple weeks ago, my husband and I took our first trip down to Lake Ozark in Missouri. It was so beautiful! And we really lucked out on finding an AirBnB (with a hot tub!) on the lake (though probably a little further from All the Fun than we’d stay again). Last weekend, I took my first trip to Mall of America, and I was so underwhelmed that I just ate lunch in the food court and never left. Like my dad’s favorite joke goes: If you’ve seen one mall, you’ve seen em’all.

(No, seriously, my dad actually told us that joke when I was a kid and I NEVER stop laughing at it when I’m in a mall. I also strongly dislike malls very very much, maybe because of all my retail management years?)

Farm Report: 3.16.17

- Mel

Rain and snowy sleetish shit today… and of course, WIND. There’s never not any wind here in Iowa. Chicago, the declared Windy City, can bite me.

so cornfused

Based on the number of birds and deer grazing in the fields (and my front yard) over the last week, I would have assumed that the seeds have been planted for the upcoming growing season. That may be true for my grass, but corn is not seeded until early April (the more you know! *ding*). I learn something new every day living in this great Corn King state.

cows in ponds

I hurt my ankle somehow yesterday, and I SWEAR that I am not on any drugs (unless you count an entire box of Honey Nut Cheerios as medication), BUT I am positively entertained by images of cows in ponds. They stand in leg-deep water and just… chill. It’s hilarious!

SEE?!

midwest shenanigans

Did you pick a Midwest team in your Final Four? MIDWEST IS STACKED. I don’t know, that’s something that ESPN says. I picked Cincinnati to win. If we go by the Ohioan standard, they technically claim themselves to be Midwest (though NCAA does not), so however you need to reconcile that is fine by me. But also know that I have never won a bracket challenge when I didn’t pick Kansas.

Farm Report: 3.2.17

- Mel

Is the month we dub “in like a lion and out like a lamb”? Is there an Iowan farm equivalent? In like manure and out like a corn stalk? Never mind. I can’t make this one funny.

show me your sap

The next full moon on March 31 is called the Sap Moon around these parts, so sayeth The Farmer’s Almanac. But since the southern hemisphere is celebrating the opposite of whatever shit season this is, this month’s second full moon down yonder is the Corn Moon. You’ll have to wait until September harvest to get your Full Corn Moon in Iowa.

poopcorn

Guys, guys… FARMINARS. This is the best Iowan word since the Kybo. Related: “kybo” in Lithuanian means “hanging,” but kybo in Iowan means: KEEP YOUR BOWELS OPEN. OMG.

Also: low-hanging poop. *snicker*

poopcorn

midwest shenanigans

It’s Fish Fry season, aka Lent. Here’s your Fish Fry Guide for Des Moines. I still have yet to find a gluten-free fish fry. Guess Catholic Guilt doesn’t apply to those of us with dietary restrictions, aka fine GIMME ALL THE BACON.