Have you ever meditated or journaled or bitched over mimosas at Sunday Brunch on how much your life has changed?
I’ve been thinking probably too much about this (maybe because I’m slowly adopting my meditation practice again and also I’m probably doing it wrong because WHY am I so distracted about everything?!). Or maybe because this is what 40-year-olds do. But these thoughts were also induced by the passing of my 10-year anniversary of quitting smoking. TEN YEARS. Photo throwbacks almost always include a picture of me (very probably at a bar or club) drinking and smoking. My drinking habits have also changed, alongside the necessary stoppage of clubbing every night – given my 9pm bed time and ohhhh probably being no longer being single and 20-something has a lot to do with my retreating from The Scene.
Deep thoughts from the toilet.
I realized this week that I CHANGED MY TOILET PAPER BRAND for my husband.
When we had separate living spaces at the beginning of our relationship (though we basically lived together from Day One – yes, this man was just the right amount of cocky that he packed an overnight bag on our first date – we just rotated whose house we would stay until I finally moved into his apartment about 2 months into our courtship). ANYWAYS… I was firmly on Team Cottonelle when I was Managing Life on my own. He likes those bears that wipes their butts with “paper” from the woods.
It’s probably poison ivy.
Like most areas of our relationship, we never fought over whose toilet paper is superior. We, um… don’t really fight about anything unless we are doing house renovations. (Our backyard project is almost done, by the way.) Don’t you just HATE couples who don’t fight?! I am a total Kitchen Sinker type of fighter. My husband has probably raised his voice, like, twice. I let him assume the grocery shopping responsibilities because I shop like a teenager who only eats sugar – and here we are, 9+ years later, me realizing why we never had a discussion about what toilet paper we use. BUT HE DOES THE GROCERY SHOPPING, YOU GUYS, WHICH IS MY MOST HATED CHORE. Besides cooking – which he also does – but only because I find it overwhelming and he finds it to be a pleasurable and relaxing experience. HOW two people one person so complicated ever came together in a relationship is a question for the universe.
On my run last night, I had a conversation with my male running buddy about relationships and this notion of is it “better” to have met and married someone early on to figure out life shit together – or does the relationship have greater chance of survival if two people have independently lived and cooked for themselves – terribly or not. Which is the Charmin and which is the Cottonelle?
I dated my high school boyfriend for many years. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work out (at least for us, together, but we are both now in long-term married partnerships. YAY, US!). I met my husband when I was in my 30s and shoved his presence away for ALMOST A YEAR because OH GOD, NO WAY am I dating someone in their 20s again. Hahahahahahahahahah.
What I’m getting to here, is that I am practically unrecognizable to myself from 20 years ago. I should also probably bring up that I had a nail piercing. I WORE DANGLING JEWELRY FROM MY PINKY (FAKE) NAIL.
I mean… Charmin toilet paper. WTF.
That said, we have DEFINITELY had the toothpaste conversation, and my husband’s preference is total shit while I am #Crest4Life, so we are firmly rooted in a two sink, two toothpaste household (TSTT — brand it!).
Maybe the secret to change is to let someone else do the grocery shopping.
So, what side are you on: Team Cottonelle or Team Charmin?