Weekly Therapy: transformations

- Mel

the week:
A recurring theme around education here these days: FINALS WEEK! Two of my classes are ending this week (thank the Spreadsheets Gods), and I begin my Social Psychology course next week (so excite!). This runs in concert to my Business Writing class, which… meh, another 6 weeks of that. BUT only two classes at one time (instead of three) will bring a brief air of sanity. Ahhhh.

weekend:
WTF I have to work Friday NIGHT. But: yoga in the park on Saturday again AND we get to go dresser shopping now that the new bed is up, and we found someone to take all the old furniture away!

Oh, Monday is also supposed to be the start date of our renovations for our guest space. FUN TIMES ARE COMING.

seven things, seven days:
1. We downsized to a Queen bed, and I think everyone is adjusting well. The sleeping arrangements are certainly cramped when ALL THREE cats want to be in the bed at once. But the smaller bed is a much better fit for the smaller spaces of our rowhouse and an opportunity for this couple to work on closeness.
2. I gave my first presentation for school without using notes or a script. This is such a huge accomplishment for me, as I am a terrible (and nervous) public speaker.
3. To enhance my relationships with friends and promote better conversations online, I thinned out my follow list. I already feel less overwhelmed with social media.
4. Sun sets at, like, 9pm these days. What are you doing with this much daylight? Please enjoy it on my behalf while I’m doing homework.
5. Almost through Season Two of Orange is the New Black. SO GOOD. Now back to homework.
6. IMPORTANT: Stop telling your depressed friends to “Cheer up!” {via NY Mag: Science of US}
7. “You are the only custodian of your own integrity” from {explore blog} on the topic of Authentic Voice

100 Days: you FEEL what you eat.

- Mel

I’ve passed my 100 Day mark for eliminating gluten and nightshades from my diet. Replacements are fairly easy for gluten (breads, cereals… poptarts) save for finding potato flour and an abundance of sugar or swapped starches in a lot of items (most packaged sweets are gross, tbh). Nightshades are still really difficult, especially when out dining (and I’ve turned into this neurotic TELL ME ALL THE INGREDIENTS visitor when scanning menus). I’ve been to a neighbor’s dinner party and hosted a cookout where I shared my dietary restrictions with anyone and everyone (I really wish my sister would listen!). And annoyed a whole bunch of people via social media about the who/why/what. Yet, I’m still surprised at the ignorance of many about WHAT gluten is (clue: it’s not a wheat allergy!).

no gluten no wheat

The diet started out as basically cutting all gluten products; now I am replacing, which I feel very… meh about because I still eat so.many.carbs. So I want (and plan to) do better in my next 100 Days. Pinterest has saved our marriage (lol); we plan meals ahead, and I can even swap out some ingredients in Blue Apron without a lot of waste. But planning ahead is SUPER important to combat the HANGRY. The use of Day One app has been incredibly helpful to log meals and any possible reactions.

A few days of “testing” my sensitivity proved to be BIG mistakes. On one occasion, after a particularly amazing 5-course meal, I couldn’t get out of bed to check out of the hotel. It was awful. I also tried a gluten-free beer in NYC (oh, did I mention that I’m additionally sensitive to hops? Yeah, that made me feel like crap too). And then I went and drank a bunch of whiskeys and bourbons this weekend at the UGP. These were not controlled testings (aside from the gf beer), so I have no clue what is the bigger culprit of wrecking havoc on my body (mostly joints): gluten or nightshades.

I’m incredibly grateful for Emily Levenson for helping me through this journey.

Alas, I realize this is for life, which makes me as sad as it makes me relieved. And I know that white potatoes are the devil. The end.

If you need a resource to learn more about gluten and Celiac disease or gluten sensitivities, I highly recommend reading: Gluten Freedom.

Still think gluten sensitivities are bullshit? Read this. And focus on the last sentence. {via glutenfreegirl}

Every 30-something needs: to belong.

- Mel

Belonging is on the psych triangle (Maslow), and an inherent part of the human condition and centric to motivation. It is a relationship requirement to have affection with significant others, feel wanted in friendships, with teammates, in community, church or with coworkers, and so on. We 30-somethings are becoming more comfortable with our sense of selves and in relationships with others as motivation for higher needs… and realizing where we belong in the process — where we need to belong.

maslow triangle psychology needs

Switching gears just a little bit. I’ve talked about the death of a blog before, and how it has an impact on personal identity. This post: Can a Blog Die? reinvigorated my internal argument about where I do belong. And then I had to create a personal goal plan in my Psychology of Personal Development course (finals week!). One of my three goals before graduation (without going into all the SMART specifics) is to blog again.

One of my life satisfactions is to have an outlet like this and feeling like part of this blogging community — I need this blog, as much as I need others’ blogs. Perhaps this space here will help me with some accountability in goal tasking, in realizing some of my gratitude, and maybe help some other undergrad trying to navigate the psychology career path. But most of all, I get to share my life and its highs, lows, and life lessons (ahem, mistakes) with a community that understands WHY we blog.

We belong. (Did I get Pat Benatar stuck in your head?)

Do you believe that Maslow’s hiearchy still applies in aspects of your 30s? Would you change the order?

More reading:
Why We All Need to Belong to Someone {Psychology Today}

The “Need to Belong” – Part of What Makes Us Human {Science of Relationships}

Image credit: liveit.loveit.blogit

Red, White & Bouqs: flowers for your 4th #bouqlove

- Mel

WHO DOESN’T LOVE FLOWERS?

Most national flower delivery middle men are so disappointing. I see it at work all.the.time — what should be a beautiful bouquet is lacking a certain, ahem… freshness. And then the recipient finds out the price, which makes what should be a joyful surprise into a WHY DID S/HE EVEN BOTHER.

Of course, this is of no fault of the sender, but it certainly ruins a good and thoughtful deed. And that’s why I want to tell you about The Bouqs. The Bouqs (as seen on Shark Tank, O! Oprah Magazine, Forbes, E!, The Today Show, & Popsugar), are changing the flower industry one bouquet at a time. They own their own flower farm — budding flowers in the rich soil of an active volcano. All bouquets are cut to order and sent to your door without the “help” of a middle man. They also help you choose your flowers. The Bouqs also believe in zero waste, which passes on great savings to you.

red white bouq flowers

Their pricing is simple – $40 flat fee for all original size bouquets and FREE SHIPPING. This allows you to choose the bouquet you love without thinking about price!

For Fourth of July, The Bouqs are bringing back their Red, White and Bouq (pictured, beautifully, above) — perfect for celebrating the holiday with red, white, and blue roses. This bouquet is a splendid gift to bring to the Fourth of July BBQ you are attending or to pretty up your tables for hosting.

The Bouqs care about its customers, its employees and in sustaining an eco-friendly environment. You’ll notice how much longer your flowers will last too as their bouquets are shipped straight from the volcanic farm, which only prolongs the Happiness.

Disclosure: this sponsorship is published on behalf of Makerly, to which I received compensation in exchange for posting. All opinions herein are my own. See my disclosure page for more info.

Weekly therapy: peaceful dreams and hangovers imminent

- Mel

the week:
Man, it’s been HOT and swampy in Pittsburgh this week. I started off the week skating in the Pride march for the third year (yay!) — this, the afternoon after a HUGE win, which coincidentally, might be my last home bout (more feels on that later). And now I’m prepping for finals week in two of my classes (already had one final presentation Tuesday night in my Psychology of Personal Development Course).

I’m just crazy enough to think I can handle one more course this summer (but mostly because it’s Social Psychology, and I’m all GiMME ALL THE PSYCHOLOGY ELECTIVES).

weekend:
Urban Garden Party: one of my favorite events in the ‘Burgh is tonight. The theme is Wild West, and I am a sucker for a theme party. Plus, the event is in our neighborhood, supporting the Mattress Factory museum, and you can’t beat parties that you can walk to-and-from! It’s also JazzFest all weekend, which we intend to enjoy on Sunday because I’m ALL HOMEWORKED OUT. And I really need a bike ride and some outdoor sangria.

seven things, seven days:
1. Received my first Cuisine Cube. Not only can I not eat half of the box (because of potato flour in ingredients), an item was missing. And customer service took nearly 5 days to respond. So frustrating. Although: gluten-free pancake mix from Shortstacks (as seen on: Shark Tank!).
2. Finally was able to attend a Pittsburgh Power game this season! They are blowing this season OUT, and actually have a chance of making the playoffs. Disappointed I couldn’t be more a part of this season, but here’s hoping they go post-season, and I can attend another game.
3. Personal dilemmas SUCK. That’s all you get from me, vague status update.
4. I’m going to be part of the APA Twitter Team during the annual convention in August! (!!!). You can follow along with the #APA2014 hashtag August 7-10 (I’ll be tweeting from my personal account).
5. From {tinybuddha}: How to create a happy future by accepting the present. So important.
6. From {brainblogger}: Facebook “Likes” and Twitter Followers Predict Personality Traits and More I’d recommend following the references and reading more too. Very interesting topics presented!
7. The new bed is getting put together this weekend!

Weekly Therapy: So I said to myself, “Self….”

- Mel

the week:
wooooo… So much schoolwork before leaving for another weekend. I’ve also taken a LOT of assessments for an assignment, and I’m not sure if I know myself more — or less. Huh. I’ll let you know with certainty after I finish my analysis.

Does it seem as though all I’m doing is traveling this month? Because, yes.

weekend:
In Philly for a game, then off to NYC for a couple days to visit my sister and niece!

52 books in 52 weeks:
I’m going to give this thing a try again.
1. Gluten Freedom
2. StrengthFinder 2.0 – and additional assessment book recommended by my instructor for my Personal Development course

Yep. I finished two books in one week. And did an assload of homework. Where’s my cookie?

seven things, seven days:
1. Gluten-free pop tarts. GLUTEN-FREE POP TARTS.
2. I dropped my phone in the toilet… Thankfully, I remembered the RICE method, and it seems that I thwarted a drowned disaster.
3. Sooooo I’m going to be starting an internship some time in July. It’s not in Psychology, sadly (I’m still looking!), but hopefully I can pad my research and analytic skills somewhat in a marketing/non-profit setting.
4. A phrase of value this week: Self knowledge is the foundation of wisdom.
5. Achieving Happiness on vacation: the keyword is SAVOR.
6. I’m interested to know your thoughts about this article: I loved AA. Here’s why I left.
7. Oldie-but-goodie: a call for an introverted positive psychology. {Psychology Today}

Weekly Therapy: ’cause I’m HAPPY! (stop it)

- Mel

the week:
DUMB COLD. And I’m not talking about the weather. When the only medicine that works is Tylenol Nighttime, you know you’re in for a long week. *ack*

dark blonde medium length hair for summer
New Hair!

weekend:
Memorial Day weekend! Excited to have some family out to Pittsburgh for a cookout (I’ll be mostly working my part-time job this holiday, but four days off in a row before then is nice). We also have to go through our basement to pull items for the neighborhood yard sale at the end of the month. The thought exhausts me…

seven things, seven days:
1. The Food Lab says THIS is the secret for peeling hard-boiled eggs. My method is very similar AND IT DOES NOT WORK. Is there nothing more frustrating?
2. Just in time for summer, Breyers to add gluten-free labels to 36 of its ice cream flavors. Hooray!
3. I live in an equal state! YAY, PA!
4. Did I tell you about my MALE pedicurist asking me when my boyfriend is going to “pull the trigger” on marrying me? These outdated standards have, for real, transgressed over gender lines?! The hell.
5. It’s that time of year again! The Warning Signs of Skin Cancer {from SkinCancer.org}
6. A neighbor gets laid off, and a stoop breaks out. This is why I love my neighborhood: the people are amazing.
7. {from Psychology WOD} Welcoming Vulnerability: The importance of being at the back of the pack. This post really stayed with me over the last month. (And she recommends strapping on some roller skates!)

Every 30-something needs: A 30-something birthday of relaxation and happiness.

- Mel

37, seriously?!

I guess that is how I expected to feel — interrobangs and all… but the birthday came-and-went with little fanfare or (gluten-free) cake and candles. The boyfriend was traveling and sent me a lovely bouquet of flowers and balloons in the afternoon, which was a beautiful surprise. He’s brought home flowers for me on occasion, but never a delivered order, so it was incredibly thoughtful and warmed up my cold-dark heart (OK, it made me cry). I hung out with a falcon in the morning at the Aviary (Bird of Prey experience, do it!). I also scheduled a hot stone massage in the afternoon, so I could truly make an attempt at relaxing. And I DID. I even had traffic, but I didn’t mind — my driving soundtrack was good (thanks, Songza!).

birthday flowers balloons

But “my day” never really felt like my birthday; I saw some old friends (visiting Pittsburgh, yay!), some new friends, drank some Sangria, ate a cheese plate, and even played in a video game challenge for charity — and read and smiled over all the wonderful wishes by text and FB and twitter. If you’ve been following along for a couple years, then you know the power in this statement: it never really felt like my birthday. Usually birthdays bring months-long meltdowns and depressing doctor diagnosis and standing in the mirror counting all my new sun spots hoping this is not another cancer. I honestly did not care this year — apathetic late 30-something. Ha!

bop mel

And hoooo-boy, if this is what 37 is going to be like (carefree and wonderfully happy and full of love), then I’m going to enjoy this year of my life immensely.