Weekly Therapy: taking care of old business

- Mel

the week:
The background colors and layout here at 30-something Therapy were bothering me for a long time. I contacted a few designers about tweaking the blog, but got some serious sticker shock. I decided to figure it out on my own…

So, check out my new site layout — mobile-enhanced now too! And please let me know if something is wonky.

Speaking of new layouts, we met with a contractor about possibly recreating the space on our second level. It’s a weird layout and really doesn’t define a first and second bedroom, mostly because of 12 foot glass doors separating the two spaces, but also because of a terrible bathroom addition. We can’t really do much with our attic space either because of space (and possible historical) constraints. He had some great suggestions, and would solve the problem for us using the space we have — AND only 3-4 months of stress! Next up is a meeting with an architect.

weekend:
A little happy hour with derby buddies on Friday night and an EPIC bottle share with friends on Saturday. Hangover on Sunday, natch. True story: we had to go buy two more dining room chairs to fit our anticipated party size.

seven things, seven days:
1. I am love with this all-natural hot chocolate mix from Silly Cow.
2. Is there nothing better than coming home to a professionally-cleaned house? Especially so when you plan to host 15 guests on the weekend.
3. Finally had x-rays for lingering, nagging derby injuries on my left hand and foot. No visible fractures, so likely ligament damage on each (blargh). So much healing time.
4. Signed up for unlimited month at CrossFit, which includes a strength training program. Did you know that I can deadlift 133 pounds?! Me neither.
5. There is a thing called rice nog from the brand Rice Dream (I use rice milk in my cereal). I *squeed* a delightful squee when I found it in the grocery store. And thoroughly embarrassed myself in the presence of strangers.
6. Special order: Bulleit boubon truffles from Sinful Sweets. Mmm-hmm, that’s right.
7. Who are the “Masters of Sex”? I’ve been wanting to download and watch this Showtime series about Masters and Johnson. Sunday’s hangover might be the perfect opportunity.

Weekly Therapy: this is Halloween

- Mel

the week:
Halloween always used to be one of my favorite holidays, but not so much in the last few years. I did throw a DIY costume (old school diner waitress) together for work since we were given approval to dress up — and I’ll do anything to get out of my uniform for a day! But I mostly just love to pass out candy, since I live in a neighborhood with actual trick or treaters (and the adults who check to make sure your glass is always full).

halloween_football

Oh, and the roof is leaking somewhere new. Happy two year-anniversary, house!

weekend:
Road trip to Columbus, to celebrate with our friends getting married! I hear that an Insanity workout is part of the festivities. And a lot of drinking. Will report back. I’m really looking forward to this one though.

seven things, seven days:
1. Mesmerized by (and drooling over) all the Jonathan Alder home collections that I cannot afford. *sigh*
2. Free Halloween lunch at work!
3. ALL OF THE KIT-KATS.
4. Signed up for the Pittsburgh Marathon Relay with my fellow CrossFitters! Got Weights?
5. Purchased all the items in my Stitch Fix box again (even though I didn’t like an included scarf — it was lousy and WAY overpriced — the box was cheaper to keep everything). I am feeling overwhelmed now with my new wardrobe, so I’m taking a month off.
6. Lessons learned: Why You Shouldn’t Text Your Arguments {via PsychCentral}
7. The past is past. I love this post from Gabrielle Bogan. Speaks to my heart right now.

The eyes have (and need) it: finding a new mascara

- Mel

If my eyes are not defined, I look tired, puffy, washed out… old. I’m sure most 30-something women can relate.

I was an avid Cover Girl user, until their mascara “formula” changed — this, after I used their Professional (and then, Remarkable) for nearly a decade. I knew the end was approaching when I found sale tags on their cosmetics. This was no fluke. The old “formula” was being discontinued. And I say that, because the “new” stuff with its fancy colors and change in packaging was NOT the same. I made the switch for a couple years, but I was never as happy with the new as I was with the old.

How about THAT loaded statement!?

I have basically been on a mission to find a new mascara for the last two years: Lancôme (ok), Benefit (good for nights out), Blinc (yuck!)… There are a LOT of eye products out there, and only so little time and money in the bank account to try them all.

After falling in love with Laura Mercier’s powder and primer products from samples, I decided to give the brand a try in terms of mascara.

best mascara for 30-somethings

And I am. in. love. It defines; it volumizes; it lengthens; it curls. Its awesome wand grabs those little guys that like to stay un-make-up’d. IT STAYS ON DURING THE ENTIRETY OF A ROLLER DERBY BOUT! And it doesn’t clump one bit (I even tested it with four coats. FOUR! NO HAIRY SPIDERS!) I also don’t need eight quarts of eye makeup remover to get the stuff off. This is so important for our time-sensitive eye area!

Laura Mercier Long Lash Mascara: 30-something approved!

Life’s Littlest Annoyances

- Mel

Are there certain little things in life that just… ANNOY THE EVER-LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU?

I have — well, had — two:
1. The cheap ass Mr. Coffee coffee maker that dripped EVERYWHERE when filling up the basin and during the brew process.
2. The silverware drawer organizer that had moveable parts and knives and spoons would slip underneath partitions… and get stuck.

These two things have been on my annoyance and Must Replace lists for quite some time… because, well, see the first line of this post. It kind of reminds me of relationships: you love everything about something (err, someone in this analogy) and then one day, all the little quirks make you recoil in disgust. That coffee pot had an amazing stainless carafe that held the perfect two-cup amount. That drawer organizer was easy to clean because of its removable pieces. Then one day, everything changed.

Look, sometimes life’s little annoyances are just that: little. Usually that feeling dissipates. If something so minute bothers to an extent of rage, however, it’s sometimes masking something MUCH larger (perhaps you need more sleep, Mel, or your boyfriend REALLY needs to fix that dripping faucet). But let’s be honest, a LOT of times, these events can multiply beyond the boiling point — building up to an eventual epic meltdown that you can no longer ignore. Day-after-day-after-day of being frustrated, the annoyed feelings transitions to anger. And then you break up. The end! Maybe that’s me and my tolerance for frustrating life moments (like, waiting for people who are habitually late… or, traffic). I’m terrible at managing or channeling that irritable energy. If you flare up just at the thought of walking into the kitchen maybe you need a coping strategy.

How to restore the calm:

Option 1: Accept the triggers; just don’t ignore the triggers. The latter will just come back with a vengeance. Either figure out how to cope with the annoyance, take a time out, or learn how to increase your tolerance of the situation.

Option 2: If Step 1 doesn’t work, remove the triggers or remove yourself from the hostile situations. Like how much did I have to deal with these annoyances? I’m a daily coffee drinker, and I eat at some point in my home every day. So I was attempting to cope every. single. day. Therefore getting frustrated every. single. day. I had to change the situation (which, in this case meant purchasing new items for my kitchen).

Option 3: Kick something. Kidding. Sort of. Physical activity is a known stress release — use its advantages on days when you’re feeling a spike of irritation in one-off events. As for other types of negative coping skills, like causing harm to yourself or others, these not only do NOT solve the problem, but creates additional problems. Don’t do that.

Group Therapy: Tell me your biggest annoyance in the comments and how you deal with the situation.

Weekly Therapy: sweater weather (!!!)

- Mel

the week:
The boyfriend’s birthday was yesterday. He was excited about buying a second house for his big day — the vacant property behind us that is currently listed in the treasurer’s sale, to eventually use as a guest suite-slash-investment. I’m still warming up to the idea of taking care of two houses, what with the difficulty we already have with one. But soon enough, I’ll be back in school, making my own financial mistakes. LOLZ.

Anyway, the treasurer sale was this morning, and I received a text message around 11am that read: We only own 1 home.

I can’t wait to hear this story! You too?

weekend:
I have to work all weekend, so… hashtag, annoyed.

We have a Halloween party scheduled for Saturday night, but I honestly don’t think we’re going to go. How lame is that? I’ve been alternating days on feeling well, then being sick again, and repeat. We’ll just use our costumes for trick or treat next week… WHICH IS ALSO OUR TWO YEAR HOUSE ANNIVERSARY.

seven things, seven days:
1. Brownberry sandwich thins are my new favorite thing. NO CRUST is where it’s at.
2. I surprised the boyfriend with tickets for a lecture series featuring Steve Wozniak. He was pretty psyched. AND the tickets were free. WIN.
3. Birthdays mean SUSHI! My favorite sushi is still House of Hunan in Akron, Ohio (thanks to the boyfriend for that one). So glad that I made that part of the boyfriend’s birthday plans this week.
4. I found a sweater organizer (finally) for my closet. It’s coming together, even if it’s still over-packed. I don’t want to talk about when I was putting it INTO the closet that the other hanging organizer in there collapsed and ALL OF THE THINGS went tumbling to the floor. Sigh.
5. I have to return 2 out of 3 items from my recent World Market order because of wrong and/or broken items. Ugh. #dumb
6. We’re not allowed to dress up for our Halloween event at my part-time job. Whomp whomp. LIES! Now we are allowed!
7. Remember the #barenaked campaign from Stylish White Female? A reporter from Point Park News Service wrote about it. And published my no-makeup selfie.

You know how you know when you’re getting old(er)?

- Mel

…when you can’t remember why you started dating a (now, ex) boyfriend. And why do I want to even remember?

…when you can’t remember whether or not you slept with that guy from years ago. Seriously.

…when your boyfriend is celebrating the birthday that YOU were celebrating when you first started dating. Woof.

…your car is almost 10 years old. That’s a senior citizen in car years.

…when you read your old blog, and you want to go back and punch your younger self. *punch*

Every 30-something needs… a bra for all occasions.

- Mel

Have I talked about how Victoria’s Secret discontinued the ONLY bra that fit me? I went in a couple weeks ago for a double, since I basically wear my Body by Victoria IPEX on the daily.

Perfection in a bra. No longer for sale.
Perfection in a bra. No longer for sale.

1. It fits PERFECTLY
2. NO UNDERWIRE
3. NO PADDING
4. Comfortable around the band and over the shoulders
5. Cannot see underneath t-shirts

I have resorted to trolling eBay and Poshmark for people’s hand-me-downs, which eeks me on one level, but is satisfying on a whole other. THAT’S how much I love this bra. And seriously, contact me if you have a perfect condition one to sell/give me.

I want to touch on something else too: why do bra designers feel it necessary to put wires into A cups? We don’t need them. The sales attendant even was incredulous when asking why I don’t want underwire. The three other 34A cup bras that I tried on in the VS dressing room were NOT created for an A cup — but as an afterthought to the A-cup market: a variety of weird styles, bulging extra fabric and OMG comfortable bras do not need to be so ugly!

As I get older, the “secret” I’ve discovered is that Victoria’s Secret regularly changes their bra collection (and their sizing, for real). There’s hope that my bra style might come back. But that only fits one of my underthings problems… and doesn’t help me right now. I basically only like sports bras right now.

Women generally need a bra for every occasion:

  • daily bra — for comfort
  • nude bra — never white, since they ALWAYS show; I’m talking skin tone
  • sexy bra — ahem. you know. Something with lace or prints and LOTS of pushup when something unexpected might happen
  • sports bra — to protect the ladies!
  • convertible bra — for different styles of tanks, tops and dress cuts
  • and a strapless — these things were also not made with the A-cup in mind, and I still have yet to find one. I’m 36 years old!

Tell me 30-somethings: do you have a favorite bra? AND, do you generally have a drawer full of them for different occasions?

Weekly Therapy: getting ready for hibernation… or something.

- Mel

the week:
For real, the most exciting thing to happen this week was this enchilada casserole for dinner that we ate THREE DAYS IN A ROW. Pathetic, but my days are so much more relaxed when I work out in the mornings. I can almost say that waking up at 5am for 7 weeks of CrossFit has made me a morning person. Almost.

weekend:
Oh em gee, I have a weekend off work (and then an extra two days). The boyfriend and I get to do fun things, like, discuss our 2014 home renovation projects, budget and furniture wants. And then I’m drinking rum-and-cider for the rest of my free minutes because we will probably definitely be arguing by the end of that.

Kidding. Mostly.

But on Monday, I get to take boyfriend for his pre-birthday surprise.

seven things, seven days:
1. Did I really just buy three separate items for holiday decorating? I did.
2. Oh, and then my boyfriend told me that he special ordered the live Christmas tree, so I guess we’re both feeling the spirit? We also figured out where we’re putting the tree this year. Note: not in the dining room.
3. My boyfriend commented that the new dining room layout looked “like a grownups dining room.” *swoon*
4. WHAT IS HAPPENING? I HATE CHRISTMAS!
5. I used my chalk paint AGAIN — HATE the blue tape for edging. Each project the tape peels up big chunks of paint from the surface, resulting in multiple touch ups. So #dumb.
6. I unpacked boxes from our move two years ago… We have so much freaking glassware in storage, but I think I have a new idea for our collection.
7. And I must be in some kind of nesting phase because I just reorganized all the stuff in my kitchen cupboards (BUT IT’S SO MUCH BETTER!)

Say Hello, 30-somethings: Get seriously friendly on your next date

- Mel

Some of us 30-somethings and single-somethings are looking for love and need some advice on how to break the ice. Are you getting back into the dating game this Fall and need some encouragement?

This post is for you!

hello oral products breath spray
Mexican food dinner date? HELLO.

Say “hello” to hello oral care products! I (seriously) love the product designs (designed by BMW DesignworksUSA, by the way), and the purse-friendly breath spray is perfect for pre-date prep. It also locks closed, which is a sweet feature. Every time I pull this guy out of my bag, people ask about it. Talk about ice breakers!

Ice breaker sounds SO much better than a pick-up line — which, I’m adamantly against using and listening to. Aren’t cheesy pick-up lines the worst?! And they’re almost never sincere. Saying a simple “hello” is much more genuine. The worst: “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Followed by: “Are your feet tired?” Please tell me that people still don’t use that.

I questioned a few friends on their favorite pick-up lines they’ve used — or heard someone else use.

  • My friend Brian gave his worst: “Do you have any {insert ethnicity here} in you? Do you want some?” UGH.
  • My friend J, who works in a seasonal Halloween attraction, regularly gets: “You’re too hot to be a zombie.” Hilarious. Reminds me of the overused “You’re too pretty to be single”-variety of pickup line.
  • The boyfriend used the line: “It’s like I need a GPS to find you” early on in our relationship. I’m still not really sure what the drunken comment implied.
  • My friend Ericka agreed with me on the WORST of all pick-up lines (see above), but added: “Is this seat taken?” as a terrible way to approach someone sitting alone.

Just. Say. Hello.

hello products

Containing no alcohol (save the actual mojito for the date!), these naturally-friendly oral care products and hello toothpaste are easy on the eyes and the mouth. Even better, all hello products are made in the USA and NEVER tested on animals. Delicious flavors of hello mouthwash, toothpaste and breath spray include: sweet cinnamint, pink grapefruit mint, supermint and (my favorite) mojito mint.

Locally, you can buy hello products at Walgreens, CVS and Target stores.

hello mojito mint mouthwash

“Like” Hello on Facebook and check out the full line of hello products to prepare for your next big date!

How do you start a conversation with someone you’re interested in?

Disclaimer: this post is sponsored by hello; see my disclosure policy page for more info.

Holy crap, I ran a 5K!

- Mel

It was really a crazy thought process: oooh, hot apple crisp — I could totally run a 5K for hot apple crisp!

photo 4

Yep. That’s some self realization there: YOU SO CRAY!

And then I did. In the rain. Basically 2 out of 3 miles up hill. For this year’s Harvest Moon 5K, I placed 12th out of 16 in my women’s age group — ha, so not impressive on paper. Not only that, but with basically no running schedule or program aside from doing CrossFit and roller derby, I beat my personal record. My last 5K was somewhere around 3 years ago, and I clocked in at 33:some odd seconds.

When I was rounding the corner to the finish line, the clock had a 32 on it — a 32! I wish someone would have grabbed a picture of that expression. I ran so fast (yeah, not-so-much) that my boyfriend missed my finish. We talked before the race, and I was honestly thinking I would finish in 36 minutes, so he sat in the car because of the rain. I had already finished, almost puked in the parking lot, and ate an orange and my apple crisp before finding him.

race 5k apple crisp

Finished: 32:30

race clock finish 5k

Next up: Turkey Trot 5K on Thanksgiving