good intentions

Birthday Flashback: Ages 30-39

- Mel 1 Comment

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

MAN. This post was harder than I thought to write! And not because of any weird emotions or awful memories, but because my brain legit sucks. I cannot remember my own birthdays. That’s some bullshit. And this is exactly why I asked for a 5-year diary for Christmas, which I have YET to use!

So it took some detective work (like, glossing over social media accounts and waybacking old blog posts and texting my sister).

And finding hilarious pictures like this:

Birthday-sunglasses_34 throwback

I guess it’s better than passing out in a handicapped bathroom stall on your 29th birthday, eh?

But here’s the lot of what I got from ages 30-39:

30 I remember being SO excited about turning 30 and getting the hell out of my 20s (#bye). I honestly had to message my sister to help me remember how we celebrated because it was completely lost in my memory (I even second-guessed her because that’s how terrible my memory of the event is. Isn’t that awful?!) I can’t even find any pictures from my bash. I do, however, have a 30th birthday CD that was made for me.

Very limited story, because forgetfulness, but we went to Velvet Tango Room and had a HUGE party (apparently the guy I was dating at the time helped me plan the thing — though neither my sister or I even remember who that was). All of my friends were there though. And two of my sisters came in for it. And I remember having either dinner or brunch (widely different memories, no?) with my mom and got a new luggage set — which I still have and LOVE because Nine West is amazing. And maybe the color purple is strongly tied to memory?

31 I had a Cinco de Mel get-together with friends at our favorite Mexican restaurant. I was probably heavily intoxicated on Cadillac margaritas and Malley’s chocolates. I’m hoping that Facebook memories or Timehop will help me recover some of those lost events from a weekend or some-such — or maybe I just kept it really low key that year? I have a picture of me in the salon in Ohio with a fresh cut, so I must have spent the afternoon with my sister (which probably, definitely included some shopping at Gabriel Brothers).

32 The birthday that I went to Vegas… but basically spent it alone. I really wanted to celebrate with friends and after that kind of went bust up (I ended up having an entire hotel room all to myself, unable to get any friends to come out with me; the other friends who I knew were going, stayed at another hotel), I wished that I’d invited my boyfriend to join me. Though I had some fun, it was enough to make me not want to go to Vegas ever again.

Afterward, the boyfriend gifted me a WONDERFUL weekend of camping and biking near Fallingwater (we did a tour of the house and grounds, too). And we kayaked down river and made friends who rafted with Yuengling.

33 With my current boyfriend, again, we got a limo and took some friends over to watch some roller derby; then we invited everyone back to our downtown apartment in Cleveland to drink some Ice Tea Vodka (OMGoodness, I haven’t had that in so long!).

34 Shortly after my 34th birthday, I started this blog! I found myself in a weird space at the end of an odd age bracket and growing out of my “other” blog. Here’s a snippet of my weekend from a post on my other site though:

Friday, I rushed through my morning work schedule, so that I could walk around downtown — it was a gorgeous sunny day. I hit Franktuary for lunch, then wandered over to the Pittsburgh Public Market (for marshmallows and beer). After the boyfriend left work, I met him for a Happy Hour drink at NOLA in Market Square — totally hoping for some outdoor seating (sadly, no room on the patio) — while we discussed our night plans. Which was our first trip out to the Waterfront in Homestead, for comedy at the IMPROV (Jim Jefferies, FTW!). Then, we had WAY too much fun (think: Extreme “More Than Words”) at Sing Sing, Pittsburgh’s dueling piano bar.

Saturday: early rising to join 1,000+ “friends” for the Pedal Pale Ale Keg Ride. Of course, RAIN for the 6+ mile ride from downtown to the starting line at East End Brewing Company (and oh, holy hell, Penn Avenue I hate your elevation). The ride finished off at Penn Brew on the North Side (mmmm, love that warm German Potato Salad!), with thankfully no significant rain during that trip. Afterward, I definitely needed a Disco Nap, if I was going to survive the Dirty Ball. Which was SO MUCH FUN, Pittsburgh. And not an ankle was broken in my 6-inch heels! But there was dancing… LOTS of dancing. The sequins definitely made for an impression.

Sunday was fit for a grump, as I had to wake up early AGAIN (early, at least for how much vodka I had the night before) for a sunny afternoon game with the Pittsburgh Pirates. Oh, lookie there: The Buccos won for my birthday.

AND THEN I DID (something like) 18 LOADS OF LAUNDRY.

#todaywasagoodday

35 I had an MRI because of, what would be, ligament damage in my wrist. (Thanks, derby.) I remember (however, vaguely) having drinks and snacks at the bar at ELEVEN in Pittsburgh with my boyfriend. We did that, like, three years in a row. It was an awesome tradition and their desserts are BOMB.

36 I was dealing with the reality of a skin cancer diagnosis and having something of an identity crisis. 2013 was a really rough year overall for me.

37 I started off my day with a Bird of Prey experience at the National Aviary, and then enjoyed a wonderful hot stone massage. Based on my blog post about that day, it seemed that I was finally feeling less anxiety over my birthdays and my 30s in general.

38 Well, the week of my 38th birthday, I ran my first half marathon! For my weekend of celebration, we partied at Howl at the Moon and WOO-BOY, did we party! And then my dad came out to visit. It was such a fun weekend, even if I was a little stressed out pulling it all together.

39 Here we are, the LAST time that I will celebrate a year in my 30s. Look at how far we’ve come in ten years! This year’s a little different, of course, given that we’re in a new state. And we’ve explored a little more of our new home: On Saturday, we went to the Food Truck Throw Down in the city, hosted by Des Moines Social Club. And on Sunday, we went to Pella to look at the tulips — followed by lunch at Exile Brewing Company.

More on this year’s fun in a later post. But seriously: Would you be able to remember a decade’s worth of birthdays?

List of Ten Intentions for June

- Mel

1. It only took four months at my new job before I was dipping into our joint account again. I need to get my (new) budget under control, especially to be prepared financially for that six months after graduation when my student loans come due.

2. Starting training for my first full marathon this weekend, and just the thought of it right now is giving me a lot of anxiety and analysis paralysis. I need to explore those feelings. I haven’t yet figured out what plan I’m using either, so that’s likely part of the problem.

3. Enjoying a more relaxed state: being more relaxed about stuff happening/needing fixed in the house, not stressing about homework deadlines every week, not putting more pressure on the boyfriend, and generally more time in the hammock reading books. And wine.

4. Cross 5 books off my list for my 52 books in 52 weeks goal. I’m really eager to cross two items off my 30s Life List with this goal too — I have The Lion in the Bedroom, well, in my bedroom just begging to be read.

5. Random intention, but I plan to wear a dress or skirt at least once a week to work every week this summer — especially since recently tailoring a few skirts and dresses to fit.

6. Keep a blog schedule! That Blogger, May I? format really helped stoke the blogging fire again, and I’ve already bought a planner to help me. I won’t be posting every day, but it is definitely my intention to write more consistently.

7. So I have this bad habit of overwhelming myself with activities and fun things. Last month, I didn’t attend two events that I paid for in advance (one of the events was $50). So, I’ll either pay at the door on the day of interesting events or risk not RSVP’ing and getting sold out. No FOMO here.

8. My main goal is getting through this last semester, and with that intent comes a lot more pressure until August when I’m done with classes. A bad case of senioritis aside, and keeping in mind #3 on this list, I need to focus on a strong finish. By the end of this month, I’ll be changing over to my last two classes and ZOMG SO CLOSE. I promise, I’ll be more fun when it’s over.

9. Yoga. Kthxbai.

10. Now post-yard sale and basement/attic clean-out, I have an almost-empty, open-lofted, air-conditioned room to start setting up my office and yoga space. First up, find someone to replace drywall from when we purchased the house. I’ve decided to wait to paint until those things are complete because why do it twice? My intent here is to find someone to do the work, since unfortunately, this is out of my skill level.

Inspired. So good.

- Mel

This post needs its own hashtag. But if I took the time to look, I’m sure it already exists.

jack johnson quote

What inspires me? (Today’s prompt from Blogger, May I?) Seemingly a lot these days. And it feels good. SO GOOD.

I find inspiration in little things now that I was oblivious to only a few months ago. Joy in seemingly insignificant interactions with people… or nature. I smile and say “hello” more to passing strangers. I leave my headphones in my bag. I engage with things that are in my sight-line. I look up. Always. Is it inner peace? Perhaps. It’s certainly an effect of me being mindful of my surroundings and conscious of being present. There really is a lot to be said about living in the moment and keeping company with people who make you happy. Those people inspire me most of all. I’ve left my days of being angry all the time behind. Mostly. I’m human. I can snap out of a mood by providing my own perspective. Buh-bye aggressive driving. I’m in no rush.

Slowing down has never felt so good.

I’ve had to come to terms with a lot of the forced happiness that I was feeling for far too long. The people that I chose to be around caused me sufficient grief and… well, I was relentlessly unsettled. By removing the blocks to my growth, I’ve truly changed my perception on so many things. Back to the friends mention from earlier. Man, my friends are doing amazing things, and they are probably my biggest source of inspiration. Every day, I am motivated to learn more, do better, follow through, be gracious — and humbly, they return these friendships. If luck had anything to do with it, well, I am incredibly lucky. I am surrounded by good people.

And the good begets the good.

Banana Pancakes are good too:

My not-so-year of running.

- Mel

Three months ago I would NOT have called myself a runner. I hated running — especially when it was part of a CrossFit workout or warm-up because WHY TWO WORKOUTS IN ONE SESSION?! Yet, here I am, having finished (I think) 7 races at various distances, experiencing something of a coming out party. I ACTUALLY LOVE RUNNING. Running goals are part of my plan for 2015, as I incorporate CF and roller derby into my year full of activities and intentions.

Inspired by Miss Zippy’s Year of Running post and other running bloggers that I admire around the Web, the following is a summary of my 2014.

medal hang runner wall hooks
Medal, bib and PR display from Gone for a Run

Best race experience: Finally lining up for the Hot Chocolate 15K — the race that my friends encouraged me to train for when derby season ended, and what sparked this whole experience. Bonus factor: HOT CHOCOLATE, duh.

Worst race experience: Miles 8-10 of the EQT 10-miler. Woof. I was definitely not prepared for this race. Whomp-whomp factor: HUNGRY.

Best run: Just a couple weeks ago, I did 6 miles, and I am continually in amazement that I AM RUNNING 6 MILES. Plus, I hit a 8:10 pace in the middle of that run. It was an incredible realization (and further amazement) at what my body is capable of.

Worst run: I could barely run a mile without stopping four months ago, so that’s tops. But the run that you wouldn’t really call a run that was the worst, was the Fineview Step-athon. Man, that race kicked my ass. And I got lost! But probably one of the best race endings and celebrations. Tie breaker: that time a foldable water bottle leaked down my leg during the (very cold) holiday run. Yeahhhh.

Best new piece of gear: SHOES! Holy cow, my Saucony Ride 7s have changed my life!

Worst (old) piece of gear: Headphones are the bane of my existence. Even the $50 pair that I invested in only work half of the time. At least they don’t fall out? Also, can we please stop making race tech shirts with shortened long sleeves? I’m petite, but everything is still so short on me!

Best piece of running advice: “If you run, then you’re a runner.” – comment on an internet post.

Worst piece of running advice: “I have to run 8 miles this weekend anyways, why not sign up for the 10-miler?” – myself, naturally

If you could sum up your year last few months in a couple of words, what would they be: Life changing.

Total miles: Since late September, I’ve logged 81 miles. Nothing earth-shattering in the running world, and I expect that number to explode next year. Just in November, I ran 35 of those miles. Seriously though, that’s 81 more miles than last year!

Looking ahead: I can’t wait to start my training program in a couple weeks for the Pittsburgh Half Marathon. I’m doing the Frigid 5 Miler in January, followed up by derby tryouts in the same week. The theme for this year will definitely be balance.

Every 30-something needs… some resolutions.

- Mel

I hate the word “resolutions” just as much as the next 30-something (I mean, it’s like settings up for failure, right?), but I do set some goals for myself for the year. We need goals — something to live for, strive for and accomplish. This is what makes our life worth a damn: purpose.

Resolutions. Or at least some intentions.
To be a better person (in more ways than one).
To be healthier.
More motivated. More generous.

The following for 2013:
Financial: Pay off my credit card debt before starting school next Fall. Pay off old school debt to get my transcripts released.
Education: Apply to an additional college (not one I was originally anticipating attending, but would be proud to “get in”.) Finish all application and registration requirements. GO BACK TO SCHOOL! (yay!)
Diet & Exercise: Make A-level travel team. Train for my relay leg in the marathon. Get stronger. Lift more. Find easy, healthy meals that I can make on my own.
Work: Better business tracking: time spent on projects, job app-to-hire percentage, all business expenses. Continue to look for work that is new and challenging. Pitch more.
Relaxation: Shut down the phone and read once per day. If I’m on my phone every day, I can have my nose in a book everyday. Even if it’s just for 20 minutes.
Home: Finish house projects. Complete paint remodel of the first level. Decorate my master bathroom.
Love: Love and support the boyfriend in all aspects of his life (including his high-stress job and travel). Stop being so bitchy and expecting to suddenly live with a mind reader (ie: tell him what’s on my mind instead of being defensive upfront). More date nights.
Friendships: Send one handwritten letter to a long-distance friend or family per month. Make the time to visit and reconnect with long-time friends in Ohio. Connect and hang out more with my team/leaguemates.
Do Good: Continue to volunteer and donate time and money to my favorite charities and causes. Be emotionally available for friends and family in need.

But then I took this whole Resolutions thing one step further. I made a list of promises for each month of the new year. Because I’m mostly crazy, but also because I really like to challenge myself. Each directly relates to my resolutions — and are tied bad habits that I’d like to break or motivation that I’d like to gain.

A Year of Promises
January: 30 days of no alcohol.
February: 30 days of WAKING UP BEFORE 8am. (I’m going on vacation this month; will be interesting)
March: 30 days of no sweets
April: 30 days of “something new”
May: 30 days of yoga
June: 30 days spending freeze
July: 30 days of NO PANTS (dresses and skirts only; save for working out)
August: 30 days of volunteering
September: 30 days without social media (this is when I intend to return to school; will be taking a month-long hiatus from both social media and blogging because I WILL NEED IT)
October: 30 days of dates!
November: 30 days of blog posts
December: 30 days of relaxing (sit back and listen to Christmas music; you’ll need it!)
*if there are 31 days in a month, consider Day 31 a “freebie”; 28 days, an “easy” goal, which… not really.

More: 5 Questions You Need to Ask Before Making Your New Year Resolutions {from Psych Central}
10-step Guide for Making Your New Year Resolutions {from PsyBlog}

Image credit: FrameAngel