Iowa life

What is home?

- Mel

The concept of home is something I’ve struggled with since I first left Cleveland in 2004-ish. It was a brief “pack everything I own and drive across the country” relocation that found me returning to Ohio approximately 8 weeks later. Tail between the legs, financially broke, romantically heartbroken, et al., ad nauseam, shit you go through in your 20s when you try to run away from your problems both figuratively and literally.

I moved away “for good” over 9 years ago – first, living in Pittsburgh for 6 years, and now the Des Moines area for over 3 1/2 years. I’ve had varying degrees of emotional attachment to Cleveland since relocating. When we lived in Pennsylvania, it was an easy road trip several times a year. I struggled with feeling disconnected, particularly after my grandparents passed away. There was no longer an open drop-in location. Going back to Ohio meant the trappings of stress, anxiety, not recognizing anyone anymore when we went out… guilt. I was determined to make this Pittsburgh-is-my-home identity my replacement.

I mean, it mostly worked… except for falling back in love with the Browns and clinging hardily to that fandom amongst a sea of everything black-and-gold. WHO EXPECTED THAT?!

Now, living in Iowa, we’re required to take at least two flights to get back to Ohio. The trips are fewer – at least once per year, but sometimes twice. The travel stress is different, and after setting boundaries and a rotating holiday schedule a few years ago, the feelings of guilt have dissipated. I’ve started to cry at the airport the last two times I’ve left, including this most recent trip over the weekend. It was such a wonderful homecoming for a cousin’s wedding that included none of the tug-of-war for visitation. We all had to be at the same place at the same time, and most of us (ahem) were on time.

“Where are you from?” people ask when I say I’m not from Iowa. It usually starts with, “Well, I moved here from Pittsburgh…” or “Originally from Cleveland, but I was in Pittsburgh for six years before here.” The definition of home is kinda fuzzy, but I find myself more using Ohio as my answer. I can still shit on its insistence that it is the midwest (because I’m from there and it is NOT). Sure, I get sad when I leave, mostly because of honest-to-goodness happy memories that were made. But I can also honestly say that I don’t miss it, especially when I return to Des Moines and I am bursting of love of this place we’ve made our new home.

It’s a complicated relationship.

Groups in Des Moines that helped me make friends as a transplant (in my 40s)

- Mel

It still feels weird when I think of myself as a 40-something blogger. But here I am! Why is that important? I’ve seen a few article floating around the shared spaces about how difficult it is to find friends once you’re X, Y, or Z. The most recent of which is WHY IS IT SO HARD TO MAKE FRIENDS AT 40?

RAYGUN_Des Moines - there it is map
There we are! {Postcard art from RAYGUN}

Your mileage may vary, I suppose, but I have found the “trick” to be that you have to be intentional about friendships at a later age. It is important to put yourself into new situations (yes, that often means going to things alone; from someone with social anxiety, I cannot express how difficult but how important it is to do so). And also, maybe give up your presumptions that the next person you meet will be your new BFF. I’ve moved cities twice as a Grown Woman. Finding your “tribe” is important to belonging and overall mental health. Though, admittedly, depth in relationships is not really my strongest suit.

Again, YMMV.

Also, I should probably add: Is this just a female thing? That’s my worldview and experience, and this post will reflect that I like to hang out with other women. You know, boys and their cooties and all.

When I moved to Pittsburgh, I met all my friends via Twitter and Yelp. True story. I deleted my 300+ review Yelp profile before I moved to Des Moines, however, and Twitter since 2016 is quite possibly The Worst. Here are the communities that I happened to come across though (online and otherwise) that have helped me to connect to new people in Des Moines – with the benefit of making some great friends.

Capital Striders – Full disclosure, I’m on the board of this organization. But I’m on the board because I felt as though giving back to a community from which I gained so much (read: friends!) was incredibly valuable to me. If you like running, TRUST ME, you will find your accountability partners who will soon invite you to six-hour brunches. 😀

Women on Adventures – This is a national organization with a Des Moines outfit. I have truly met the most amazing women in this group, while getting the opportunity to get out of my comfort zone and explore points of interest in Iowa. This is a “pay-for-your-friends” model, but there is a month-long freebie to check out what’s on the calendar and join the DSM group for your first adventure on the house. This group has also given me the place to meet people who are not just like me (aside from being female-identifying) and incorporates so many varied perspectives on adventure – which is really, really important for me. I’m looking forward to the things being planned for 2019!

Women Who Wine – Total accident that I connected with someone from WOA on a Bike & Brunch who then told me about this amazing group of women who like to drink wine. Monthly meet-ups with wine (duh!) and celebrate or support a woman and/or woman-owned businesses. I think I’ve made a 2-3 new friends at every event of theirs! Again, there is a cost associated to attend the events, but they are super fun. And did I mention there is wine?

Have you found any fun groups to make friends in the Des Moines area? Share them in the comments!

Coffee Shop of the Week: Freedom Blend Coffee

- Mel

I’m on a quest to try all the coffee shops in the Des Moines area. Read my introduction post.

I’m very fond of the extra moments that I have in the “in-between.” There’s a certain peace and slowness that goes with having an hour or hour-and-a-half to kill – and the total lack of desire (or sensibility) to drive all the way home to just drive all the way back again. That is how I found myself at Freedom Coffee in Des Moines a few weeks ago.

: Freedom Blend Coffee :

Freedom Blend was originally on my list because I heard that they had gluten-free doughnuts for sale. They sell, like, THREE OR FOUR KINDS of gluten-free doughnuts (sourced by another company – I’m pretty sure they’re from Sweet Treats Without the Wheat based on all their doughnuts I’ve had at the Farmer’s Market). More importantly, they have a seasonal coffee menu. And more importantly than that, their overall mission of their business rounds out all the reasons why I will continue to have this coffee place on my regular tour.

From Freedom Blend’s webpage:

Several years ago, a study on the number of jobs available to teens in the inner city of Des Moines showed approximately 42 job types (newspaper carriers, fast food, etc.) An additional study revealed that adults held more than half of these jobs, proving that job development was crucial if we wanted to help young people break the generational poverty cycle. This was the driving force behind the founding of Freedom Blend Coffee in 2011 by Freedom for Youth.

freedom blend coffee des moines
WGW on PSL (aka: White Girl Wasted on Pumpkin Spice Lattes #noshame)

When going to Freedom Blend for the first time, I actually passed it… because it didn’t outwardly look like your typical coffee place (the building is HUGE!). It was cool to learn a little bit of the history of the building (it was a former car wash!) and the history of how it got its start (roasting and selling beans). The coffee shop opened in 2017.

I’m pretty low-maintenance when it comes to getting coffee, but because of my food restrictions, I have to double-check ingredients and such. The barista went above-and-beyond to confirm my selections – and did so with probably as much joy as I had in learning that I was able to have what I wanted. My experience at Freedom Blend was so positive and more than just the coffee left me feeling warm and cozy. Their location is out of the way for any of my regular commutes, but I plan to drive out of my way more often.

Freedom Blend Coffee
2329 Hickman Road, Des Moines 50310
Hours: Mon-Thurs 6am-6pm | Fri-Sat 6am-9pm
IG: @FreedomBlendCoffee | FB: Freedom Blend Coffee

Coffee Shop of the Week: The Coffeesmith (Waukee, IA)

- Mel

In between appointments at the Iowa Clinic for an echocardiogram and LifeTime for my personal trainer (the juxtaposition of those is not lost on me), I stopped over to my favorite Des Moines suburb coffee shop for another of their seasonal drinks.

: The Coffeesmith :

The Coffeesmith is becoming a regular stop for me. So much so, that I am almost always driving out of my way. My regular grab-and-go drink is an Americano – which I have had a few times now and it is perfection. When I opt to settle in for a bit, I venture off my regular and order a flavored latte or other specialty concoction. A few weeks ago, I went for their maple latte (they torch the brown sugar – it’s incredible!); this visit was for the pumpkin pie latte that I tried ignoring over on their social media accounts. Facebook plays the dirty beast once again.

Coffeesmith des moines coffee shops blog
Say “yes” more (to whipped cream).

Total aside: If you see me out, ask me about my thesis! I’d love to find more holes in the research on athlete burnout (and maybe get some additional insight into my methodology). 😂😂😂

Though the cafe was well-occupied for the morning, I still find it to be a great place to relax and focus on homework or get some reading done. This trip I introduced my latte to my lit review. The place feels very hygge – and every time I’m there I see a new framed message encouraging my continued happiness for the day. That’s what the Danes had in mind, right?

Well, their coffee makes me very, very joyous.

The Coffesmith
770 Alice’s Road, Waukee 50263
Hours: Mon-Sat 6am-6pm
IG: @YourCoffeesmith | FB: The Coffeesmith

Farm Report: 8.10.17

- Mel

I’m back from two weeks in the land of fires (aka: northern California) and past the seemingly never-ending barrage of stressors from preparing to leave for my internship. While I was staying a couple hours east of one of the major blazes, there was considerable smoke in my area and a few mornings where you could smell things burning. Thankfully my internship “abroad” went quickly, despite being emotionally and mentally exhausting. I’m happy to be home and settling back into my routine. Two weeks away, and the corn viewable from the fields at this stage is obviously not for human consumption, it looks positively BEAT. (And like it needs a haircut.)

I feel you corn. I feel you.

the sweetest corn.

adel sweet corn festival iowa blog events

Adel is my favorite sweet corn in the area (Grimes is 2nd). But NOTHING WILL BEAT OHIO SWEET CORN, DON’T @ ME. That said, I’m bummed to be missing the buttered-down goodness of this Saturday’s Adel Sweet Corn Festival. I mean, I suppose I might be able to get over there before midnight. Cross your kernels that there will be corn available that late.

brb. going to spanish mines. in iowa.

This weekend is the Mines of Spain trail race and my first race of the year. Remember when I used to write a lot about running?! My intent was to be ready for the half, but I’m dropping down to the 7-mile event because I’ve basically done 4 weeks of 6-mile long runs and unable to push myself into any further misery. Real talk: run training just hasn’t been gelling for me lately. So I’m being kind to myself and doing what I can to keep running fun and basically going for a weekend with friends. Also, it will be my first time exploring Spain Dubuque!

midwest shenanigans

I love to love on Iowa. Being around a bunch of east and west coasters the last couple weeks asking “tell me what it’s like” had me enthusiastically swooning over why I enjoy living here. ESPECIALLY after sitting in hours of traffic in California.

What would you tell someone who asked you to describe what’s so great about the Midwest – or Iowa, specifically?

Farm Report: Extreme Chance of Giggles

- Mel

Special edition of the Farm Report to bring you BABY GOATS.

If I had my choice of a therapy animal, it would probably be a baby goat.

Goat Yoga_baby goats farm

Last weekend, as part of my mission to become less of a city girl and more of a suburban wannabe farm girl, I had the pleasure of meeting and hanging with the some of the cutest animals: BABY GOATS. As part of a summer series at Howell’s Farm in Cumming, Iowa, and a collaboration with Illuminate Yoga and the wonderful instructor Lynn Marie Nelson, the “Goat Yoga + Giggle” event was something I was geeking out about FOR WEEKS.

via GIPHY

This is basically how it looked when they unleashed the goats in our enclosed pen for the yoga class. I was basically squeeing in excitement from the moment I unrolled my mat. You cannot be in the presence of baby goats and not be positively impacted. And if you don’t have a smile reach across your face, then we cannot be BFF.

BABY GOATSGoat Yoga_Iowa blog review farm

BABY GOATS CHEW ON EVERYTHING!

Goat Yoga_ baby goat howells farm

BABY GOAT MAWING ON MY TOE

Goat Yoga_iowa goat giggles farm blog

BABY GOAT ON MAH PLANK

Goat Yoga_baby goats on planks iowa

(Special thanks to Howells and Lynn for the most perfect action shots!)

BABY GOATS TAKING SAVASANA WITH ME AND ALSO PERFECT SELFIE PARTNERS

Goat Yoga_savasana baby goats iowa

It surpassed all my expectations and I left feeling so joyous. And yes, I giggled the entire time. There was definitely more goats and giggles than yoga, but that just meant all was balanced with the universe.

And yes, BABY GOATS EATING MY HAIR. 🤣

Goat Yoga_baby goat iowa farm blog

(And then I went to meet and feed some BIGGER GOATS – one of them made that hilarious screamy goat noise, but I was laughing so hard that I couldn’t record fast enough on my phone.)

Goat Yoga_baby goat on my head iowa farm

I’m not sure of the availability of remaining classes, but check out Illuminate’s event page and BOOK IMMEDIATELY if you see an open spot.

Weekly Therapy: 8.11.17

- Mel

the week:
This week I celebrated NINE YEARS since I quit smoking. Pretty proud of that milestone!

Ready to quit? Check out the Quitter’s Circle for resources on quitting AND staying smoke-free — and find the community support you need to quit for good.

weekend:
Off to Riverside, Iowa to see one of my favorite bands, Better Than Ezra, at the Casino. They’re touring with The Wallflowers, who I haven’t seen live since, like, 1997.

Also, it’s THE IOWA STATE FAIR time! Tater tot-nachos, I’ coming for ya.

seven things, seven days:
1. My tomato plants are finally producing some fruit – and I got to pick my first tomato!
2. Have you heard about The BibRave 100? Check it out, and nominate your favorite races.
3. Can anyone run an ultramarathon? Short answer: YES! Even Dr. Stanley Beecham agrees. {via Paste}
4. I participated in a wonderful webinar about energy management, which included some exercises for core values clarification and identifying energy resources. These topics are so interesting to me — as they were in my undergrad — and fueled my desire once again to look into applied psychology graduate programs.
5. SEE?! Why you should manage your energy and not your time {via BBC}
6. This was also long-sitting in my inbox: Define Your Core to Design Your Life {via Day Designer}
7. Running with a therapist: I LOVE IT! {via LA Times}

Weekly Therapy: It will be cold. You will get dirty. And you will get wet.

- Mel

the week:
I had to give a presentation at work this week and if you know me: I HAD TO GIVE A PRESENTATION. This, coming from someone who had to drop public speaking THREE TIMES in college. Every thing about it scared the crap out of me, but I was given the opportunity and wanted to get past The Thing that I typically reject on account of nerves and fear and other silly personality defects and comfort zones. All that aside, I DID IT.

*THUMBS UP EMOJI*

container-store-des-moines-preview-opening-party

weekend:
This weekend is the Living History Farm Race — 7-ish miles of dodging mud and farm animals (yep, farm animals!) and other obstacles. Think of it as a Tough Mudder: Iowa Style. The promise is that it will be cold, dirty, and wet. Everything about that sounds terrible, no?

seven things, seven days:
1. I hit the halfway point of the 100 Striders Miles Challenge for November!
2. Work hosted a thanksgiving potluck – and there was an insane amount of food that I couldn’t eat. ?
3. I finally got out to a group run at Fleet Feet in downtown Des Moines — and it was Saucony demo day!
4. Speaking of Saucony, did you see (or buy?) their RunBox?
5. The Container Store is opening this weekend in West Des Moines, and we went to its fancy preview party. It was so nuts – but completely awesome! Check it out and shop this weekend, as a percentage of proceeds benefit local charity Variety.
6. Why our brains respond differently to Classical music. {via Pacific Standard}
7. What a cool research project — and discovery behind one of Cleveland’s historic landmarks.

Weekly Therapy: Take the risk or lose the chance

- Mel

take-the-risk-or-lose-the-chance

Something about this quote hit me in a good spot this week. I’m feeling feisty.

the week:
Was this the longest of the long weeks? Maybe because of the impending time change that made it feel so long? It was long. The end.

weekend:
Half marathon #8 — the Hillbilly Hike in Carlisle, Iowa. I’m ready for a legit Fall run; alas, it’s going to be 70 degrees and I’ll be wearing my #favoriteshorts again.

Perfect bonfire weather at night though, which I have one of those parties waiting for me Saturday night. Sunday, I’m trying out a new brunch place with a friend.

seven things, seven days:
1. Sad about the Indians loss. But it was such a great Series, wasn’t it?
2. I came home Friday to a yard and front porch decorated in Cubs stuff. SOMEONE in this household lost a bet. -_-
3. How to overcome fear… without jumping off a cliff. {via A Daring Adventure}
4. What happens to your body when you stop exercising? {via Peak Fitness}
5. MERP.
6. DON’T RUN ANGRY! Welp. {via NYT}
7. The biggest money mistakes we make by decade {via WSJ}

Weekly Therapy: Hitting the Trails

- Mel

the week:
It felt nice to take a week off from, like, everything. But I got myself some new trail shoes and ready to take on some new adventures this Fall in Iowa.

weekend:
It’s TRAIL RUNNING SEASON!!! And Saturday is To Grandmother’s House We Go (I’m doing 10k distance).

Sunday, our community celebrates Beggar’s Night (or, Trick-or-Treating) and we’re participating in a friendly neighborhood Boos & Booze for the adults traveling around with their kiddos. We seriously picked the perfect neighborhood.

I pre-purchased tickets for Diplo, who is here in Des Moines on Sunday night, but my attendance there depends on how well I can hang this Halloween.

seven things, seven days:
1. THE INDIANS ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES!!!
2. …so are the Cubs, which I am also SUPER excited about! (But… Go Tribe!)
3. Really sad to read about my former derby league’s practice and game space closing. And always a bummer to lose another skating rink. 🙁
4. I signed up for a 100-mile Challenge in November with the Capital Striders. It’s a great idea to get people post-marathon to keep running, especially at this time of year when we all want to hibernate. 😉
5. Being yourself works {via HBR}
6. Not everyone is trying to lose weight – YES! This is one of the most irritating elements of having a gym membership, all the marketing received for weight-loss challenges. DO BETTER. Though this article focuses on the nutrition element, my feeling on this is the same.
7. Great performers make their personal lives a priority {via HBR}