It still feels weird when I think of myself as a 40-something blogger. But here I am! Why is that important? I’ve seen a few article floating around the shared spaces about how difficult it is to find friends once you’re X, Y, or Z. The most recent of which is WHY IS IT SO HARD TO MAKE FRIENDS AT 40?
Your mileage may vary, I suppose, but I have found the “trick” to be that you have to be intentional about friendships at a later age. It is important to put yourself into new situations (yes, that often means going to things alone; from someone with social anxiety, I cannot express how difficult but how important it is to do so). And also, maybe give up your presumptions that the next person you meet will be your new BFF. I’ve moved cities twice as a Grown Woman. Finding your “tribe” is important to belonging and overall mental health. Though, admittedly, depth in relationships is not really my strongest suit.
Again, YMMV.
Also, I should probably add: Is this just a female thing? That’s my worldview and experience, and this post will reflect that I like to hang out with other women. You know, boys and their cooties and all.
When I moved to Pittsburgh, I met all my friends via Twitter and Yelp. True story. I deleted my 300+ review Yelp profile before I moved to Des Moines, however, and Twitter since 2016 is quite possibly The Worst. Here are the communities that I happened to come across though (online and otherwise) that have helped me to connect to new people in Des Moines – with the benefit of making some great friends.
Capital Striders – Full disclosure, I’m on the board of this organization. But I’m on the board because I felt as though giving back to a community from which I gained so much (read: friends!) was incredibly valuable to me. If you like running, TRUST ME, you will find your accountability partners who will soon invite you to six-hour brunches. š
Women on Adventures – This is a national organization with a Des Moines outfit. I have truly met the most amazing women in this group, while getting the opportunity to get out of my comfort zone and explore points of interest in Iowa. This is a “pay-for-your-friends” model, but there is a month-long freebie to check out what’s on the calendar and join the DSM group for your first adventure on the house. This group has also given me the place to meet people who are not just like me (aside from being female-identifying) and incorporates so many varied perspectives on adventure – which is really, really important for me. I’m looking forward to the things being planned for 2019!
Women Who Wine – Total accident that I connected with someone from WOA on a Bike & Brunch who then told me about this amazing group of women who like to drink wine. Monthly meet-ups with wine (duh!) and celebrate or support a woman and/or woman-owned businesses. I think I’ve made a 2-3 new friends at every event of theirs! Again, there is a cost associated to attend the events, but they are super fun. And did I mention there is wine?