life stuff

May & June 30 Challenge: Promises Made, Promises Broken

- Mel

Because of my surgery and mandatory activity break last month, I couldn’t complete my 30 days of yoga challenge for May. I will likely revisit this later in the calendar (perhaps at the end of my derby season). The 30-day promise for 2013 moves on, as I am currently on a spending freeze for June.

I’m glad that I noticed it was June before I did any shopping therapy this weekend. Because… ALL OF THE THINGS ON SALE.

frozen credit card

This is a big month for my budget… and by “big” I mean this month will be HARD to budget. I’m still paying off doctor bills (estimate there’s another $300 left to pay; all these bills keep coming from various billing offices. ANNOYING.) It’s my last month of car payments (woohoo!)… but my car’s 95,000 mile maintenance is scheduled for the weekend. Also, new tires and front brakes are in the works (we have a $2,000 cap for car work before we just push that towards a down payment on a newer model. I’d like to have no car payments for a year, but that might be lofty plans.) Passport renewal cost me $200 because of expedited fees. Paying off an old debt to a former college so I can obtain my transcripts for Fall registration (what a mess) is over $1,000 (baby steps).

This kind of challenge is difficult for summer. But it’s all June, with none of the frivolous spending around here. I’m talking freezing the monies on: shorts, shoes, happy hours, all the little house things that I do not need right this minute, nail polish and snack box subscriptions, nip toys for the cats, trinkets from the gift shop at work, amazon books (*gulp*)… derby schwag (eeek). No charges on my credit cards. FROZEN. I need to dip into savings and joint account to even make this month work financially — and our joint account is already taking a beating from home repairs, renovations, decorating and an upcoming (kinda unplanned) vacation. Picking up a new freelance client was definitely a highlight (and much needed) this month.

And if I *do* find myself with a shopping itch, I have a $60 Target gift card from my birthday with which to scratch it. 😉

Read more about my year-long 30-day challenges.
Jan: no alcohol
Feb: wake up early
March: no sweets
April: something new (post coming!)

Weekly Therapy: stop picking on me!

- Mel

the week:
Five days straight of roller derby. Whew. I’m exhausted.

Oh, and my nose is severely bruised (hopefully not broken, but ouch). Not dealing with that until I’m home from California. I also found myself in tears again in the middle of practice out of total anger and frustration after a drill. Then the next practice I smashed my knee on the rink floor (yes, even with knee pads). W.T.F. This week is picking on me.

weekend:
Day trip to Philly for banked track training camp. We’re playing two banked track games in San Diego (we are part of WFTDA, a flat track league), so we need to LEARN how to skate that type of track beforehand. This is on my derby bucket list, so I am excite.

Then, napping all of the hours on Sunday. What super bowl? Pffft. Oh, I probably should get some packing done for Cali. (I’m going to try to fit in meeting an out-of-town, visiting-someone-else friend for brunch too.)

This weekend is also GROUNDHOG DAY. Man, one year I have to drive up to Punxsutawney to experience that madness. Also, I spelled that correctly on my first try! If you can’t make it to see Phil in person, Groundhog Day (the amazing movie starring Bill Murray) is playing tonight at the Hollywood theater in Dormont.

52 books in 52 weeks:
9. The Widow Clicquot by Tilar J. Mazzeo. 304 pages. LONG pages. Woof. I never thought I’d finish this book. I was anticipating reading it for weeks (while it was checked out of my branch for a month or so by someone else); what a let-down.

seven things, seven days:
1. Started my 30 days of waking up before 8am… *yawn*
2. Also, my first drink of alcohol in 31 days. Hello, beer.
3. Check out this awesome article from Pitt News about my derby league (you just might spot me in the gallery too *wink*).
4. HOMEMADE YOGURT-COVERED CRANBERRIES!!! {from the Kitchn}
5. Interviewing for a local non-profit internship position for a really cool project. Wish me luck!
6. Boredom (and me) explained! (in under 300 words) {from PsyBlog}
7. How to cope with failure {from PsychCentral}

Tell me what’s part of your Weekend Therapy!

Every 30-something needs… some resolutions.

- Mel

I hate the word “resolutions” just as much as the next 30-something (I mean, it’s like settings up for failure, right?), but I do set some goals for myself for the year. We need goals — something to live for, strive for and accomplish. This is what makes our life worth a damn: purpose.

Resolutions. Or at least some intentions.
To be a better person (in more ways than one).
To be healthier.
More motivated. More generous.

The following for 2013:
Financial: Pay off my credit card debt before starting school next Fall. Pay off old school debt to get my transcripts released.
Education: Apply to an additional college (not one I was originally anticipating attending, but would be proud to “get in”.) Finish all application and registration requirements. GO BACK TO SCHOOL! (yay!)
Diet & Exercise: Make A-level travel team. Train for my relay leg in the marathon. Get stronger. Lift more. Find easy, healthy meals that I can make on my own.
Work: Better business tracking: time spent on projects, job app-to-hire percentage, all business expenses. Continue to look for work that is new and challenging. Pitch more.
Relaxation: Shut down the phone and read once per day. If I’m on my phone every day, I can have my nose in a book everyday. Even if it’s just for 20 minutes.
Home: Finish house projects. Complete paint remodel of the first level. Decorate my master bathroom.
Love: Love and support the boyfriend in all aspects of his life (including his high-stress job and travel). Stop being so bitchy and expecting to suddenly live with a mind reader (ie: tell him what’s on my mind instead of being defensive upfront). More date nights.
Friendships: Send one handwritten letter to a long-distance friend or family per month. Make the time to visit and reconnect with long-time friends in Ohio. Connect and hang out more with my team/leaguemates.
Do Good: Continue to volunteer and donate time and money to my favorite charities and causes. Be emotionally available for friends and family in need.

But then I took this whole Resolutions thing one step further. I made a list of promises for each month of the new year. Because I’m mostly crazy, but also because I really like to challenge myself. Each directly relates to my resolutions — and are tied bad habits that I’d like to break or motivation that I’d like to gain.

A Year of Promises
January: 30 days of no alcohol.
February: 30 days of WAKING UP BEFORE 8am. (I’m going on vacation this month; will be interesting)
March: 30 days of no sweets
April: 30 days of “something new”
May: 30 days of yoga
June: 30 days spending freeze
July: 30 days of NO PANTS (dresses and skirts only; save for working out)
August: 30 days of volunteering
September: 30 days without social media (this is when I intend to return to school; will be taking a month-long hiatus from both social media and blogging because I WILL NEED IT)
October: 30 days of dates!
November: 30 days of blog posts
December: 30 days of relaxing (sit back and listen to Christmas music; you’ll need it!)
*if there are 31 days in a month, consider Day 31 a “freebie”; 28 days, an “easy” goal, which… not really.

More: 5 Questions You Need to Ask Before Making Your New Year Resolutions {from Psych Central}
10-step Guide for Making Your New Year Resolutions {from PsyBlog}

Image credit: FrameAngel

30 Days, 30 Posts Challenge: COMPLETE!

- Mel

And here is December! Whew. I did it! I published 30 posts in 30 days. Even with a vacation and a road trip under my belt for November! Yes, I subsequently took a couple days soon after the 11/30 deadline.

What I hoped to achieve:
Find this blog’s direction and purpose. Find other bloggers (especially other therapists or counselors, or wannabes, in their 30s) in my niche. Find if the topics I wrote about — or were interested in — would resonate with 30-something Readers.

What I learned:
I was devoted. I was determined to finish. I even made some new online friends. When put to task and under stress and the all-too-ubiquitous “I’m busy,” I had something to prove — to you or to me?! Isn’t that kind of statement always some kind of unnecessary pressure to ourselves to complete goals?

Well, because of all that, I have a new passion: to share my personal experiences and lifestyle as a 30-something woman to evoke a reaction, a response — heck, a follow-ship! And thank you for reading along.

Going forward:
More guest posts like this. More pictures. Regularly-scheduled themed posts like this. And this. MORE 30-something awesomeness. Definitely more shoes.

Did you participate in either Nanowrimo or the 30 Days of Posts challenges? Leave your blog link in the comments!

Finding Your Place: the loss and cultivation of identity

- Mel

I realized that making a commitment to blog for 30 days straight, that I’d be “calling it in” on more than one occasion (I promise not TOO many only-picture posts; I don’t want to talk your ear off either). But the REAL goal is opening up this page every day, logging into WordPress, considering what to write in this space — the possibility of connecting with Readers (hi there, if there’s anyone out there!) — creating a habit. Creating a new identity, albeit online.

Starting over with this new site, there is considerable time to realize any sort of growth or success or even pride. In life, you experience many stages of growth and need to adapt accordingly. Take this blog, for instance: I need to find my voice here. Find topics to write about that matter to a completely different audience. Just writing SOMETHING is an exercise in finding myself again.

I’ve now experienced the death of a blog too — a “popular” one at some point in its existence. And, likely, an idea that was stretched for far longer than its need. Can the Stages of Grief be applied to the loss of a blog?

The Kubler-Ross model, commonly known as the Stages of Grief, include the following steps:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

More recently, there has been the addition of Shock and Guilt to encompass a “seven stages” cycle of grief.

I only kicked the “other” blog to the curb when I could hit PUBLISH on that final Goodbye post. When I knew everything would “be OK” (however many emotions I go through that equate to relapsing those stages). And as I go through a variety of online and in-real-life changes, I’m feeling a considerable loss of identity.

I thought the worst of that was behind me when I turned 35…

30 Day Project for this 30-something: A Post Per Day in November

- Mel

I needed a project, a new passion — a new blog. I’ve finally (effectively?) killed my former space on the Web to concentrate on something new (here!). The decision was difficult for sure, as it was a huge part of my identity for so long, but I couldn’t refresh something that it wasn’t anymore — something that I wasn’t anymore (a 20-something single blogger, natch).

So, November ends one chapter of my online life and begins another.

What I hope to accomplish with posting everyday:

  • get back into the habit of regular writing
  • find my voice again
  • adapt this blog to incorporate new areas of interest
  • use as inspiration for future projects
  • develop regular series for this blog

Post #1 complete.

Have you ever started a new blog after posting elsewhere for a long time, or have you ever just stopped blogging? Tell me about your experience!