new year

Weekly Therapy: Ringing in 2016

- Mel

the week:
Happy New Year, everyone! I’m still working on my goals sheet and resolutions for 2016, so stay tuned. My 30 days of posts kind of took a dump there after Christmas, given my primary goal of completing 52 books before the end of the year. I did it!!!

a 30-something New Year's Eve: cheese plate, wine, cat kisses, and giant sparklers.
a 30-something New Year’s Eve: cheese plate, wine, cat kisses, and giant sparklers.

That said, I’m really enjoying reading from my fellow runners about their yearly “bucket lists,” and I think my 2016 goals will likewise reflect that approach. As for personal and professional goals, that’s where I’m feeling mighty stagnant and lost — and I need to take some journaling time for reflection. I might not make the January 1 deadline, but I think it will work out better that way. There’s some news that could happen by Month 2 that could definitely change the course of my goal-setting anyway.

weekend:
I’ll be enjoying the last of my days off from work — and also enjoying a facial and massage appointment!

52 books in 52 weeks:
YOU GUYS! I completed 52 books this year!

#51 My Year With Eleanor by Noelle Hancock — I want to read this book immediately again; I sincerely loved it, and it’s probably my favorite book of the whole year! Much of the lessons about fear and anxiety and not really having a purpose really resonated with me. A great book to absorb as I ponder the focus of my goals for 2016.

#52 The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less by Barry Schwartz — an obvious choice/topic for my final book of the year, no? Fascinating research-based book on how more choices can actually have the reverse effect on life satisfaction — and possibly even correlate to an increase in rates of depression! I like that the book is straight-forward and doesn’t get too science heavy for the layman reader. Highly recommend this one!

seven things, seven days:
1. I finally used coconut oil for the first time as a make-up remover. And holy shit, it took off the waterproof mascara that I wear during the rainiest and sweatiest of runs that won’t. come. off. with regular cleanser alone.
2. WHY ARE THERE STILL SO MANY COOKIES IN THIS HOUSE?
3. The boyfriend repainted the kitchen walls and doors back to white, and I feel so much better about this room.
4. I also completely cleared all of the clutter and decor from on top of the cabinets that’s been bothering me for nearly two years. I’m sure it will all sit in a box until we move again.
5. Got to hang with some of my coworkers from my old job (celebrating a going away, resignation party). Many of us have moved on from the organization, and I miss everyone immensely.
6. In addition to my personal, professional, and running resolutions for 2016, I am making a list of blogging goals — this post from The Wonder Forest has a great resource for tips on taking your blog to the next level.
7. The six most interesting Psychology papers in 2015 — the most interesting, personally, is the study about nonpharm solutions to insomnia (mine has been pretty bad the last few months) {via NY Times}

Weekly Therapy: holiday detox

- Mel

the week:
Recovery is the theme of the week. I still haven’t been motivated enough to play with all my Christmas “toys.” I wasn’t able to work out for a week because of the holiday and changed schedule implemented as result of the holiday week — and it was basically driving me crazy town. No runs because I’ve either been working during daylight hours or driving around from crazy town-to-crazy town. This is the part I hate about the holidays.

weekend:
Work (duh), but we have a game night planned with our neighbors.

52 books in 52 weeks:
Did I really only read 9 books this year? That’s embarrassing. Of course, that doesn’t count all the reading for my classes and corresponding textbooks. Alas… finished “On Top of Your Game: Mental Skills to Maximize Your Athletic Performance” by Carrie Cheadle this week in preparation of the new derby season and upcoming tryouts.

seven things, seven days:
1. New Year’s Eve: asleep by 11pm…
2. And an eye sty for good health!
3. YAY! My sister from Phoenix came to visit for a night!
4. Catching up with friends these last couple of weeks of break has been so valuable.
5. I finally went to the Cathedral of Learning and visited its nationality rooms! It was so beautiful — especially that the building was still decorated for the holidays.
6. This New Year’s post from TWLOHA was like a punch in the gut. In a good way.
7. 7 Psychological Tricks to Make Your Resolutions Stick {via Time}

My not-so-year of running.

- Mel

Three months ago I would NOT have called myself a runner. I hated running — especially when it was part of a CrossFit workout or warm-up because WHY TWO WORKOUTS IN ONE SESSION?! Yet, here I am, having finished (I think) 7 races at various distances, experiencing something of a coming out party. I ACTUALLY LOVE RUNNING. Running goals are part of my plan for 2015, as I incorporate CF and roller derby into my year full of activities and intentions.

Inspired by Miss Zippy’s Year of Running post and other running bloggers that I admire around the Web, the following is a summary of my 2014.

medal hang runner wall hooks
Medal, bib and PR display from Gone for a Run

Best race experience: Finally lining up for the Hot Chocolate 15K — the race that my friends encouraged me to train for when derby season ended, and what sparked this whole experience. Bonus factor: HOT CHOCOLATE, duh.

Worst race experience: Miles 8-10 of the EQT 10-miler. Woof. I was definitely not prepared for this race. Whomp-whomp factor: HUNGRY.

Best run: Just a couple weeks ago, I did 6 miles, and I am continually in amazement that I AM RUNNING 6 MILES. Plus, I hit a 8:10 pace in the middle of that run. It was an incredible realization (and further amazement) at what my body is capable of.

Worst run: I could barely run a mile without stopping four months ago, so that’s tops. But the run that you wouldn’t really call a run that was the worst, was the Fineview Step-athon. Man, that race kicked my ass. And I got lost! But probably one of the best race endings and celebrations. Tie breaker: that time a foldable water bottle leaked down my leg during the (very cold) holiday run. Yeahhhh.

Best new piece of gear: SHOES! Holy cow, my Saucony Ride 7s have changed my life!

Worst (old) piece of gear: Headphones are the bane of my existence. Even the $50 pair that I invested in only work half of the time. At least they don’t fall out? Also, can we please stop making race tech shirts with shortened long sleeves? I’m petite, but everything is still so short on me!

Best piece of running advice: “If you run, then you’re a runner.” – comment on an internet post.

Worst piece of running advice: “I have to run 8 miles this weekend anyways, why not sign up for the 10-miler?” – myself, naturally

If you could sum up your year last few months in a couple of words, what would they be: Life changing.

Total miles: Since late September, I’ve logged 81 miles. Nothing earth-shattering in the running world, and I expect that number to explode next year. Just in November, I ran 35 of those miles. Seriously though, that’s 81 more miles than last year!

Looking ahead: I can’t wait to start my training program in a couple weeks for the Pittsburgh Half Marathon. I’m doing the Frigid 5 Miler in January, followed up by derby tryouts in the same week. The theme for this year will definitely be balance.

2014 Resolutions & Intentions

- Mel

IN WITH THE NEW

The big BUT: take the word “but” out of the conversation; replace with “and” when necessary. Work on everyday conversational language skills.

Procrastination, full stop: I need to get my shit together. And I need to stop overdrawing my checking account. I mean, I HAVE the money in my other account, and I just have to transfer it over, but… well, I’ve just felt like an irresponsible mess. It’s bad enough that I’m making nowhere near the salary that I did five years ago… ugh, just GET IT TOGETHER.

30-something problems: My self confidence has taken a nose dive this year on account of aging (and its associated havoc wrecked on my face) and not being able to find a job. Both have seriously made me feel worthless — as a woman and as a partner. I’M TRYING SO HARD, and I basically feel like a failure at life. The job market is tough right now — especially for someone at my age without a completed bachelors degree. School was obviously the next step, and I’m enrolled, and I have a plan, and graduation is within a two-year reach. So… breathe? I’m also meeting with a friend in a couple weeks who works with dermatologists to discuss some options (she seemingly knows everything about skincare and she’s a fantastic make-up artist) AND was referred a new dermatologist office (one that has all the new technology for face fixin’). It’s not like I don’t have plans, but lack of full-time income really does hold me back.

Let’s get cooking: Stop making excuses in the kitchen. Oh, I have many: I don’t know how, everything I make tastes like crap, I have no time, bones are gross, I hate doing dishes (I really just hate messes in general — even when the boyfriend is cooking)… I just don’t want to cook. Welp, this is going nowhere fast, see? Then I read about Feast from Summer Tomato. The 30-day “cooking bootcamp” with Feast includes online classes that teach the fundamentals and how to enjoy being in the kitchen. Yes, this will be one of my 30-day Challenges for 2014!

Me Time: Get more massages. Seriously. I need to start taking care of ME. My body is just miserable with knots and sore muscles — it truly is much needed therapy when you play a sport like I do.

In pants we trust: Find a pair of pants that fit. Last fall I had a complete breakdown in my closet, and subsequently had to rid it of at least 15 pairs of bottoms. As my glutes and hams continue to grow (I’m not mad!), I’m now busting out of the pants that remained. I have a problem with tights too, so generally dresses are out, at least for this time of year. The last 5 skirts I purchased needed serious tailoring to fit my shape (short, muscular people problems?). Regardless, I’m just a pants person. So help me, I’ll find a tailor and have pants made for me, if I have to!

What goals or resolutions are you setting for yourself this year?

Weekly Therapy: back. back in the new year groove.

- Mel

the week:
Oh HIIII! Are you also still recovering from the holidays? Yeah, I think I’m still recovering from being on vacation the week before Christmast too. Anyway, it’s a new year, with a new car! Yeeeeep. Oh, and I’m also not drinking again this January, so bear with me.

weekend:
Getting in a couple CrossFit workouts and a small meet up to say goodbye to one of our coaches. Then, I’m going to attempt a Girls’ Night Out pending the progression of this cold.

We have an info meeting about travel team tryouts — can you believe this is already happening in two weeks?!

seven things, seven days:
1. Finally hit 10,000 steps for the first time on my Fitbit Flex. AT THE CAR DEALERSHIP. Freaked me right out when the thing started buzzing.
2. I received my first book for school — starts on Monday. Shit’s getting real.
3. I probably don’t need to vent here about the recent fraud alerts, right? But how frustrating right at the holidays.
4. Received the new Dan Savage book for Christmas, and I’m ready to dive into that. (But first, school.)
5. Beyond obsessed with this M.I.A. song. And my new car’s Sirius system. MUSIC THERAPY.
6. You know what happens when you skip laundry for two weeks? LAUNDRY MARATHON. hashtag: ugh.
7. From the Neurocritic: Men are map readers, women are intuitive, but bloggers are fast.

A 30-something with some resolutions

- Mel

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OUT WITH THE OLD
My Resolutions for 2013 (in addition to my 30-day challenges)included the following:

  • Financial: Pay off my credit card debt before starting school next Fall. Pay off old school debt to get my transcripts released.
  • Education: Apply to an additional college (not one I was originally anticipating attending, but would be proud to “get in”.) Finish all application and registration requirements. GO BACK TO SCHOOL! (yay!)
  • Diet & Exercise: Make A-level travel team. Train for my relay leg in the marathon. Get stronger. Lift more. Find easy, healthy meals that I can make on my own.
  • Work: Better business tracking: time spent on projects, job app-to-hire percentage, all business expenses. Continue to look for work that is new and challenging. Pitch more.
  • Relaxation: Shut down the phone and read once per day. If I’m on my phone every day, I can have my nose in a book everyday. Even if it’s just for 20 minutes.
  • Home: Finish house projects. Complete paint remodel of the first level. Decorate my master bathroom.
  • Love: Love and support the boyfriend in all aspects of his life (including his high-stress job and travel). Stop being so bitchy and expecting to suddenly live with a mind reader (ie: tell him what’s on my mind instead of being defensive upfront). More date nights.
  • Friendships: Send one handwritten letter to a long-distance friend or family per month. Make the time to visit and reconnect with long-time friends in Ohio. Connect and hang out more with my team/league-mates.
  • Do Good: Continue to volunteer and donate time and money to my favorite charities and causes. Be emotionally available for friends and family in need.

To say I failed a whole lot is… well, a sucky thing to swallow. Good thing I’m OK with failure.

I did NOT pay off my credit card debt; in fact, my debt-income ration is WORSE. But my old school debt was paid in full ($2600!).
I did NOT go back to school (yet), but I have all my transcripts submitted and ready to register for winter!
I made the A-team for derby. I did NOT run the marathon relay. I started CrossFit, and I’m lifting! I’m getting stronger!
I probably cooked for myself three times in one year. Ugh, horrible.
I’m giving up the dream of freelancing full time . Because, well… it’s really, really hard being self-employed. It’s apparently hard being employed by someone else too, as I’ve been looking for a full-time job for nearly two years.
I read almost every day. Almost. But sometimes that’s on my phone. I made a good effort in my 52 Books in 52 Weeks challenge, but reading that at that pace all the time is difficult — especially when I want to enjoy reading. For what it’s worth, I still can NOT relax.
We painted! Well, the professionals painted. And I guess I decorated my master bath (even though now we’re planning a gut remodel job). Still hate that space immensely. But yeah, there have been a LOT of house projects both completed and half-assed this year.
*sigh* Love is tough, y’all, and relationships are really difficult when one person in the relationship spent the better part of 2013 in a slight depression. Relationships are work, regardless of what any magazine will tell you; and mine is worth working on. And WORKING ON IT, is becoming fun again.
While I connected with old friends back home, I did NOT write letters. I still want to write letters! I did hang out with my teammates more, which makes me happy because they are all wonderful, fun friends — and we have a MAJOR passion in common.
I stopped volunteering this year because of personal conflicts, and I felt that I needed to make *myself* first, given my circumstances. Hoping to give my time and support to another local organization in 2014.

How did you do on your resolutions this year?

Up next: IN WITH THE NEW

Photo credit: from Stuart Miles via FreeDigitalPhotos.

30-day Challenges: on hiatus, but back for the new year

- Mel

It’s not too early to think about resolutions.

Yeah, life is not full of guarantees.
Yeah, life is not full of guarantees – money-back or otherwise.

To say the last year has been difficult is an understatement. As you know, I lost my grandfather in March, was told I had skin cancer in April (subsequent surgery in May), and then my grandmother passed in July. After grieving and vacationing and catching back up on life, I feel like I’ve spent the better part of the last six months… well, not feeling “better.” On the upside, I’m starting to feel like myself again. And feeling like I can handle a few 30-day challenges in the new year that were long-forgotten in 2013.

Promises Made, Promises Broken.

I started off the year with 30 days of NO ALCOHOL – my second year meeting the challenge; third-year attempt (I made it 28 days the first year). February was a lesson in waking up early; March, well, that’s when everything started to fail with my addiction to sweets. My 30-day yoga challenge for May was not possible because of my two-week healing (and no exercise) from MOHs surgery. For what it’s worth, I did NOT spend any money in June — that month’s intended challenge. (yay?) And I accepted a workout challenge in September (to replace giving up social media because… no) to start a fundamentals CrossFit program (not exercising every DAY, mind you, but starting the program AND going to all classes at 6am). Help.

A Year of Promises – 2013
January: 30 days of no alcohol.
February: 30 days of WAKING UP BEFORE 8am.
March: 30 days of no sweets
April: 30 days of “something new”
May: 30 days of yoga
June: 30 days spending freeze
July: 30 days of NO PANTS (dresses and skirts only; save for working out)
August: 30 days of volunteering
September: 30 days without social media
October: 30 days of dates!
November: 30 days of blog posts
December: 30 days of relaxing

Once you get off the ride, it’s hard to get back on.

Anyways, my 30-day challenges took a back seat to life, and I’m ready to go again January 1 with my annual no-alcohol challenge. But I’m also considering coordinating with a total Paleo month as well (I mean, since there’s no alcohol allowed anyway). But oh, THE CHEESE. I don’t know if I’ll keep the same list, but I’ll spend the next month figuring out how to plan the next year.

December, relaxing? Pssh.

What 30-day challenge ideas do you have — or do you complete — as part of your New Year’s goals or resolutions?

Image credit: from Stuart Miles via FreeDigitalPhotos.

Every 30-something needs… some resolutions.

- Mel

I hate the word “resolutions” just as much as the next 30-something (I mean, it’s like settings up for failure, right?), but I do set some goals for myself for the year. We need goals — something to live for, strive for and accomplish. This is what makes our life worth a damn: purpose.

Resolutions. Or at least some intentions.
To be a better person (in more ways than one).
To be healthier.
More motivated. More generous.

The following for 2013:
Financial: Pay off my credit card debt before starting school next Fall. Pay off old school debt to get my transcripts released.
Education: Apply to an additional college (not one I was originally anticipating attending, but would be proud to “get in”.) Finish all application and registration requirements. GO BACK TO SCHOOL! (yay!)
Diet & Exercise: Make A-level travel team. Train for my relay leg in the marathon. Get stronger. Lift more. Find easy, healthy meals that I can make on my own.
Work: Better business tracking: time spent on projects, job app-to-hire percentage, all business expenses. Continue to look for work that is new and challenging. Pitch more.
Relaxation: Shut down the phone and read once per day. If I’m on my phone every day, I can have my nose in a book everyday. Even if it’s just for 20 minutes.
Home: Finish house projects. Complete paint remodel of the first level. Decorate my master bathroom.
Love: Love and support the boyfriend in all aspects of his life (including his high-stress job and travel). Stop being so bitchy and expecting to suddenly live with a mind reader (ie: tell him what’s on my mind instead of being defensive upfront). More date nights.
Friendships: Send one handwritten letter to a long-distance friend or family per month. Make the time to visit and reconnect with long-time friends in Ohio. Connect and hang out more with my team/leaguemates.
Do Good: Continue to volunteer and donate time and money to my favorite charities and causes. Be emotionally available for friends and family in need.

But then I took this whole Resolutions thing one step further. I made a list of promises for each month of the new year. Because I’m mostly crazy, but also because I really like to challenge myself. Each directly relates to my resolutions — and are tied bad habits that I’d like to break or motivation that I’d like to gain.

A Year of Promises
January: 30 days of no alcohol.
February: 30 days of WAKING UP BEFORE 8am. (I’m going on vacation this month; will be interesting)
March: 30 days of no sweets
April: 30 days of “something new”
May: 30 days of yoga
June: 30 days spending freeze
July: 30 days of NO PANTS (dresses and skirts only; save for working out)
August: 30 days of volunteering
September: 30 days without social media (this is when I intend to return to school; will be taking a month-long hiatus from both social media and blogging because I WILL NEED IT)
October: 30 days of dates!
November: 30 days of blog posts
December: 30 days of relaxing (sit back and listen to Christmas music; you’ll need it!)
*if there are 31 days in a month, consider Day 31 a “freebie”; 28 days, an “easy” goal, which… not really.

More: 5 Questions You Need to Ask Before Making Your New Year Resolutions {from Psych Central}
10-step Guide for Making Your New Year Resolutions {from PsyBlog}

Image credit: FrameAngel