work

Weekly Therapy: The light at the end of the tunnel is not an illusion. The tunnel is.

- Mel

Oh man, the statement in the title of this post from my yoga instructor hit me right where I needed it at practice this week.

the week:
This week, I discovered that May Day is a thing. Did you celebrate May Day when you were a kid? My coworkers were telling me all about the “random and anonymous acts of kindness” associated with this holiday when they were kids in Iowa, and it sounds very nice! (We got free candy at work because of it.)

weekend:
Since my birthday is on a Monday (boo!), we’ll be out getting the b-day shenanigans on over the weekend. Boyfriend tells me that I have a WEEKS WORTH of surprises that start on Saturday. In all honesty, I really don’t like surprises, but in this case: GIVE IT TO ME.

This weekend, the weekly Downtown Des Moines Farmers Market opens; Des Moines Social Club is hosting a Food Truck Throw Down; and it’s also Tulip Time in Pella!

Wow, what great Iowan folks to schedule three wonderful events around my birthday celebrations! 😉

seven things, seven days:
1. We got a Roomba, and the reception of it on behalf of the cats is mixed (I don’t think there are any youtube videos in our future). Though *I* am thoroughly impressed by this thing.
2. My bottom front teeth were SUPER sensitive last week, and I never listen to my body cues when I know it’s getting sick (spoiler alert: I’m getting sick). But I’m completely serious about the teeth sensitivity thing; happens every single time.
3. I seriously worked for 40 minutes straightening a drawstring in a pair of my casual pants BECAUSE IT’S THE ABSOLUTE WORST. And when I got *almost* to the end, I realized that it’s sewn in twisted, and I can’t fix it! Gah.
4. A follow-up Trunk Club shipment came, and I have a new stylist (already), and it was worse than the first one.
5. I spent a few hours reading my old, dead blog. I feel like I used to be a much better writer (and a helluva lot funnier), and I wish I could harness some of that again.
6. Putting work in its place — don’t fall for the anecdotal fallacies! Also, it’s OK to not have a “calling” or to be passionate about work and it’s OK to choose the paycheck, k? WE ALL WORK FOR MONEY. {a great piece via The Manual}
7. May is Skin Cancer Awareness Month, so PLEASE make sure to read up on warning signs and symptoms, and schedule your annual screening! This is very near-and-dear to me, considering that I had skin cancer in my 30s (and my future odds at being cancer-free are not good) and one of my closest friends just passed away in March at age 40 from melanoma.

Weekly Therapy: And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should

- Mel

the week:
That subject quote came up in a Timehop post from, like, 7 years ago — and it’s still ever-applicable. Although I don’t know what the universe is trying to tell me with all this insomnia and stress.

I’ve been having an opposite sleeplessness problem as of late. In the past, I’ve struggled with falling asleep; now, I can crash pretty quickly, but find myself WIDE AWAKE only after an hour or two… and completely unable to fall back asleep. Sometimes I’ll stir in the dark just staring at the ceiling; others, I’ll flip-flop mindlessly for hours and then finally grab my phone or iPad. Yeah, I know, no devices in the bedroom. I tried that for a while. I’ve removed the TV. I’ve removed my boyfriend. It didn’t work (nor do drugs or ear plugs or cold bedrooms or going to bed every day at 8:30 and waking up at my first alarm or sleeping with a sweatshirt tied around my face to block any light). Ironically, I find myself falling asleep easier when I’m reading or playing a word puzzle on my phone, or petting the cat. But I just. cannot. stay. asleep.

I stopped drinking coffee in the afternoon, but I am definitely drinking more in the morning. I haven’t tried a full coffee stop because that just sounds like a terrible, no-good idea. So, I’m frustrated and I feel like crap to boot basically for two weeks straight and now I’m PMS’ing. YAY. #sorryforcrabby

weekend:
Hey, I’m playing in a mixed scrimmage this Sunday! (I’m a Hero!)

seven things, seven days:
1. I missed the initial memo about changes in our office dress code… but, YAY more casual days!
2. I finished “The Girl on the Train” this week (my first and only book of 2016! Big difference from last year). If you’ve read it, did you like the ending? I did NOT.
3. THIS IS SO FASCINATING!!! 8 things that practicers do differently {via Bulletproof Musician}
4. From the perspective of elite achievers: If you’re busy, you’re doing something wrong. {via Cal Newport}
5. The Pi Day 5K is back! I’ll likely register for this virtual race taking place on 3.14(16), since I don’t have anything currently on my March calendar.
6. Since I’m currently (half-assed) training for a challenge race, I came across this helpful post for Training Tips for Challenge Races. My motivation is nil right now.
7. What you can learn from William Hung about perseverance. {via Pacific-Standard}

Biggest Changes of 2015

- Mel

At the beginning of the year, I got a new job which meant leaving the non-profit that I worked at for almost three years. It also meant leaving roller derby. That last one is important because I recently made the decision to go back and will be trying out for travel teams again in January.

I left for a few reasons, most of which for feeling burned out and least of which… well, I wanted to do something new with my life. I struggled with my sense of identity probably the most. In deciding to go back, I had to be very reflective about my experiences and incredibly honest with my expectations of returning. Not skating for 10 months will change your skill level, but seemingly my endurance is OK. I certainly was no slug for the last year, so I still maintained a great level of fitness. But I have some things to work on, and I’m actually excited for some of those new challenges.

Changing jobs was probably obvious to most given the nature of my previous work, and to be honest was sort of a surprise given how long I had been looking for something new and couldn’t GET something new. I *LOVED* my former organization and my coworkers though (and, naturally, the animals), and I’m certain to be fond of my new organization in time as well. But the new job has also been a continuous adjustment with many organizational changes that came along with a new CEO (I have a new office, new boss and new title, for starters, since I started a year ago). I feel maladjusted more than I should be adjusted. But, eh, we all change jobs and roles with an uncommon (but common) regularity.

In a flit of madness, I not only signed up for a marathon (before finishing my first half), I ACTUALLY RAN ONE. That part of my journey this year was so fulfilling. And I sincerely look forward to pushing those boundaries some more in 2016.

In any event, when I think of change for change’s sake, I get very small. I do not do well with change. I prefer order and schedules and patterns (and a heads up, for chrissakes!) and all of their inherent expectations. I need routine. I CRAVE routine. But every once in a while I feel like blowing shit up — as in, uprooting everything that I know to break up the stagnation and complacency. Like, selling everything that I own (save for my car) and driving across country to live in Phoenix for a while, as I did in 2004. Or, pressing delete on a blog that I published to for over 10 years.

I’m starting to feel that kind of itchy need again. And there’s a good chance that might happen soon after the new year.

Weekly Therapy: Devil’s Night

- Mel

the week:
I started off the week by running a marathon… and, well, I’m just riding that high. Read my race recap for the Niagara Falls International Marathon.

weekend:
Trick-or-treat in my neighborhood is always the best. And Halloween marks our four-year anniversary of moving into our house. I like to dub this weekend as “one of two yearly hangovers that I look forward to.” I only just thought of a fun idea TODAY for a costume. So, I’ll be running around tomorrow trying to find a beard. HA!

And I have my post-marathon massage. NINETY MINUTES, BABY.

seven things, seven days:
1. Season 2 of Nicole Antoinette’s Real Talk Radio Podcast is live!
2. I’m really bummed about my hair right now. Last week, it got totally fried, and I’m losing so much hair every day — it’s breaking off completely at my hairline — and it didn’t even lighten properly. Not to mention, for the first time the processing KILLED my scalp while it was on. I guess I’m more pissed than bummed.
3. Moved to my new office at work this week, and was greeted with door decorations, a “welcome to the 3rd floor!” gift bag, and a lunch party (and a giant Snickers bar).
4. It’s tights season! And I’m finding getting dressed to work overly complicated again. Also, who puts tags in tights seams — THE WORST!
5. I participated in an EEG research study at The Scarehouse last year, and I got my brain activity info this week. SO NEAT.
6. On our road trip from Canada, I found “Kool Ranch” Kale Chips at the rest stop. Oh man, they were so good! Definitely not better than Canada’s Intense Pickle Doritos though.
7. This last one is for my Pittsburgh runners. Here, since I forgot to include this picture in my marathon recap:

Pittsburgh runners say LOL.
Pittsburgh runners say LOL.

Weekly Therapy: There is no mastery when it comes to love, there is only humility.

- Mel

the week:
My buddy Glen Hansard spoke those words {see post title} in Pete Holmes’ podcast You Made it Weird. A beautiful sentiment, no? He’s so dreamy. But seriously, I’ve been ruminating on those words for a week.

Nonetheless, interesting to think about mastery in terms of love — and not just in loving other human beings. Becoming passionate about something comes with the process of mastery, but you don’t necessarily love it any less when it kicks you down or breaks your heart. That continuous growth is what keeps it exciting, fulfilling, challenging, content… what keeps you humble. All the things that keep romantic love alive just the same. No more philosophical thinking from me. Much to anxious this week.

weekend:
Saturday morning is the Fineview Step Challenge — a course that is one part road race, one part trail race and another part obstacle course. Not to mention the many, MANY flights of stairs. I loved doing this one last year. Of course, I’ll be taking it easy and enjoying the view (and the hot chocolate) from the top.

I still need to pull out my Halloween decorations from the basement too.

52 books in 52 weeks:
#34: Wild by Cheryl Strayed — I LOVED this book, and was entertained and engaged throughout. While her personality is mostly annoying (at times, even repulsive), I enjoyed reading about the characters in the story and how those connections impacted her growth. To be honest, I’ve longed to become a hiker since I love the outdoors so much, and this book — while wholly improbable for an over-planner like me — provided a little kick-in-the-ass to start somewhere. Is there a hiking group in Pittsburgh?

seven things, seven days:
1. I started my week IN A POOL. Outdoors. In Western Pennsylvania. Oh, did I mention it’s OCTOBER. I savored every moment.
2. I also started my week with a gnarly drinking-induced sickness. Woof. No more wine pairings with a 7-course dinner.
3. I also took a vacation day this week; though this week still feels long.
4. Got notice as well about having to move my office soon-ish. I figured it was inevitable, and thankfully I still have an office. With a door.
5. Last weekend, to unplug, I deleted my social media apps off my phone. I still haven’t put them back, although since coming home I find myself going to Facebook via the browser from time-to-time. Certainly, much less than usual though. While I feel “unplugged,” I also feel wholly disengaged. I’m texting more, ironically.
6. Have you guys tried FLYJOY bars yet? I AM OBSESSED.
7. IMPACTFUL: The Digital Breakup {via The School of Enough}

Weekly Therapy: excuses and mulligans.

- Mel

the week:
So, I didn’t run the virtual Christmas Story 10k last weekend. I really wanted to, but it was raining in Buffalo. I had all my winter running stuff, but was not prepared for running 6+ miles wet. And then it didn’t stop raining in Pittsburgh, but after doing some Christmas shopping, I was flat-out exhausted. I’m hoping to get a run in this week, but, you know, FINALS WEEK. I will try not to beat myself up too bad for not really doing much else outside of homework and studying.

I did eventually run my 10k this week, so more on that in a later post!

weekend:
FINALS! And a handful of holiday parties (that I’ll probably end up canceling on account of exhaustion). And working.

seven things, seven days:
1. If this isn’t a week for a massage, I don’t know what is.
2. I participated in an #instabestie gift exchange, and I was so pumped to shop for my unknown “bestie.” It’s all based on personal Instagram account, so it will be interesting what my shopper gleans from my photos. Also, we had a minimum charity gift as part of the exchange, which added more holiday cheer to the experience.
3. Oooh, my first full-time paycheck from my new position!
4. Booo, working 6 days in a row!
5. I did FRAN this week at CrossFit. HOLY CRAP.
6. And I booked a derby camp IN AUSTIN at the end of February. (YAY!)
7. I really enjoyed this list (I fell for the bait!): Alas, 7 Morning Rituals to Empower Your Day {via LifeHack}