Author: Mel

A 30-something with some resolutions

- Mel

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OUT WITH THE OLD
My Resolutions for 2013 (in addition to my 30-day challenges)included the following:

  • Financial: Pay off my credit card debt before starting school next Fall. Pay off old school debt to get my transcripts released.
  • Education: Apply to an additional college (not one I was originally anticipating attending, but would be proud to “get in”.) Finish all application and registration requirements. GO BACK TO SCHOOL! (yay!)
  • Diet & Exercise: Make A-level travel team. Train for my relay leg in the marathon. Get stronger. Lift more. Find easy, healthy meals that I can make on my own.
  • Work: Better business tracking: time spent on projects, job app-to-hire percentage, all business expenses. Continue to look for work that is new and challenging. Pitch more.
  • Relaxation: Shut down the phone and read once per day. If I’m on my phone every day, I can have my nose in a book everyday. Even if it’s just for 20 minutes.
  • Home: Finish house projects. Complete paint remodel of the first level. Decorate my master bathroom.
  • Love: Love and support the boyfriend in all aspects of his life (including his high-stress job and travel). Stop being so bitchy and expecting to suddenly live with a mind reader (ie: tell him what’s on my mind instead of being defensive upfront). More date nights.
  • Friendships: Send one handwritten letter to a long-distance friend or family per month. Make the time to visit and reconnect with long-time friends in Ohio. Connect and hang out more with my team/league-mates.
  • Do Good: Continue to volunteer and donate time and money to my favorite charities and causes. Be emotionally available for friends and family in need.

To say I failed a whole lot is… well, a sucky thing to swallow. Good thing I’m OK with failure.

I did NOT pay off my credit card debt; in fact, my debt-income ration is WORSE. But my old school debt was paid in full ($2600!).
I did NOT go back to school (yet), but I have all my transcripts submitted and ready to register for winter!
I made the A-team for derby. I did NOT run the marathon relay. I started CrossFit, and I’m lifting! I’m getting stronger!
I probably cooked for myself three times in one year. Ugh, horrible.
I’m giving up the dream of freelancing full time . Because, well… it’s really, really hard being self-employed. It’s apparently hard being employed by someone else too, as I’ve been looking for a full-time job for nearly two years.
I read almost every day. Almost. But sometimes that’s on my phone. I made a good effort in my 52 Books in 52 Weeks challenge, but reading that at that pace all the time is difficult — especially when I want to enjoy reading. For what it’s worth, I still can NOT relax.
We painted! Well, the professionals painted. And I guess I decorated my master bath (even though now we’re planning a gut remodel job). Still hate that space immensely. But yeah, there have been a LOT of house projects both completed and half-assed this year.
*sigh* Love is tough, y’all, and relationships are really difficult when one person in the relationship spent the better part of 2013 in a slight depression. Relationships are work, regardless of what any magazine will tell you; and mine is worth working on. And WORKING ON IT, is becoming fun again.
While I connected with old friends back home, I did NOT write letters. I still want to write letters! I did hang out with my teammates more, which makes me happy because they are all wonderful, fun friends — and we have a MAJOR passion in common.
I stopped volunteering this year because of personal conflicts, and I felt that I needed to make *myself* first, given my circumstances. Hoping to give my time and support to another local organization in 2014.

How did you do on your resolutions this year?

Up next: IN WITH THE NEW

Photo credit: from Stuart Miles via FreeDigitalPhotos.

Weekly Therapy: ho Ho HO

- Mel

the week:
We had our Christmas tree delivered, and while tall and beautiful, I don’t know what to do with it. I hate the white LED lights we had on our tree last year (the boyfriend put them on anyway), and I don’t want to put bulbs up knowing that I’m leaving the cats alone for a couple days (especially given that half of them are vintage… the ornaments, not the felines). The cats have been mostly ignoring the tree, but I’m convinced (even from last year) that our smallest cat hides up in it somehow. She’s sneaky! The boyfriend (lazily) put up lights and garland outside, which looked like a six-year-old threw them up… and the lack of vision or thoughtful end result really irritates me (especially when asked for my opinion, and the response is all “it looks fine!”). He’s in such a rush to decorate and wrap presents all the sudden, and… I JUST WANT TO GO ON VACATION.

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

We definitely decorate with completely different styles in mind.

weekend:
Pittsburgh Ballet’s Nutcracker on Friday night marks the beginning of my ballet season package (amazing birthday gift from the boyfriend). We’ll probably have dinner at Proper Brick Oven & Tap Room again too. NOM.
Saturday, work. Meh. But then we can hang out with our out-of-town friends who are visiting Pittsburgh for the football game.
And SUNDAY is our annual Toys for Tots charity scrimmage. #teamGrinch

seven things, seven days:
1. Malley’s Pumpkin Pie Truffles. Mmm-hmm, that’s right.
2. My Ortho follow-up was uneventful. No MRI needed at this time, since my foot seems better.
3. Reading The Wolf of Wall Street in anticipation of its Christmas Day movie release! There’s a lot of eye rolling on my behalf, but it’s a quick, fun read.
4. Started receiving my Graze snack boxes*. First one was mostly uninteresting; second shipment was SO much better! RIP: Foodzie and SprigBox.
5. Packing for a vacation that is more winter than current winter IS HARD.
6. Cat sitting for friends is fun. I just can’t resist the fur babies! See also: CAT KARMA.
7. The 13 Best Psychology and Philosophy Books of 2013 {via brainpickings}

*My Graze friend code is: MELIND3TP — use this to get your first box free!

Growing Up Giving: raising a generation of charitable children

- Mel

The holiday season is more than giving gifts, it’s also about giving back. I love the idea concept of teaching children about charity because instilling these values early on truly promotes a philanthropic lifestyle.

The “Growing Up Giving” guide, from partners Macy’s Heart of Haiti and the Everywhere Society, is for parents, teachers and caregivers. Full of information, memorable quotes from society members and beautiful imagery, the guide promotes ideas about how to raise a generation of charitable children.

How are you inspiring and/or raising the next generation to be conscious of charitable causes?

Every 30-something needs… to vent.

- Mel

So, after leaving a comment on a fellow blogger’s recent post about “finding yourself,” I felt like maybe I should vent. Here.

My comment:

I went through a lot of this “finding myself” crap in my 20s, including moving across the country (mostly, to escape a lot of thing) and living my life how I thought I should be living it… but in the eyes of others — writing about all my mistakes and turmoil via a decade-long blog that was most definitely written to sound like my life was awesome, regardless of all the buillshit.

I had my shit together for a little while, but here I am, at 36, having a breakdown on a daily basis trying to figure out how the hell did I get here? I feel like I have zero direction in life and so many things I still want to do — with too many rough patches (they feel extended now, for some reason) for one person. I feel more a “messy, terrified cog” at this point in my 30s, then I did in my 20s. Maybe because I felt like those things are supposed to happen in your 20s. (??)

By 36, I should have my life together, right? *sigh* I don’t know if that helps one bit, but I guess I find some solace to commiserate in numbers.

What do you do when passion wanes for one thing — something you used to love and feel changed by… changes? Leave it, and find something else? Rediscover (somehow) the passion?

Naturally, I am inclined to go about the discovery route, but what if I’m wrong? This is about relationships, but not romantic relationships… or maybe not really about relationships at all. Although I’m sure it could be. I don’t know why there is still a sense of “needing to belong” or a “sense of purpose” for women in their 30s, but… it’s there. Just being is no way to live, it seems — especially, when alone. I mean, do I really need a job or a degree to define me? It seems, yes, especially if you need funds to cultivate passions and friendships. And don’t want to get those looks from strangers when you tell them you only work part-time in a zoo. A stranger’s rejection hurts as much as romantic rejection. And then there is this “grass is always greener” façade — that you don’t know if this would happen here or there, or under different circumstances or places. Or, people. But it feels like it would be different because no one is showing you otherwise. My situation isn’t necessary about being overtly snubbed, but rather ignored.

I feel like an outsider.

So many damn feelings, and yet, so much life hanging in the balance. Or, is it “in the valance”? And yes, this is incredibly and intentionally vague because… well, life is complicated.

More reading:
Sense of Belonging Increases Meaningfulness of Life {from PsyBlog}

5 Reasons You’re Feeling More Emotional Lately – stress, natch. {via PsychCentral}

This article, about social rejection and the brain dealing with that kind of pain, might be of interest too. {also from PsyBlog}

Weekly Therapy: More Thanks

- Mel

the week:
We were anticipating “Gobblegeddon” to arrive in Pittsburgh just prior to Thanksgiving, and we were thankfully spared (but definitely not from all the doomsday MAKE SURE YOU HAVE TOILET PAPER AND BREAD!!!! style weather reporting).

Hosting our first Thanksgiving dinner with mixed family was so wonderful, and we were squeezed in! I loved having people in our home and planning a meal for 12 people… and decorating the table for a REAL dinner party. I loved not having to drive somewhere (especially considering my work schedule around the holiday). My nieces were adorably high strung; the cats were beyond terrified. And besides the boyfriend chopping off a small section of his finger cutting the absolutely last item (ahem), there was no bloodshed! My dad took over turkey carving duties — his first attempt; he cut that dang bird perfectly.

weekend:
CHRISTMAS DECORATING! Our tree isn’t being delivered until the first week of December, but I’m bringing up the bins from the basement to prepare. And there WILL be glitter nutcrackers adorning my mantel.

seven things, seven days:
1. I started Thanksgiving running the PNC YMCA Turkey Trot. Not only did I run the entire 5K (my ultimate goal of the race), I freakin PR’d that thing! Did I mention it was 17 degrees?!
2. I wore my new Splendid boots the ENTIRE day of Thanksgiving. They were so comfortable, I wanted to sleep in them. Hey, I wonder if Splendid makes slippers…
3. My Black Friday treat this year was a MVP pass to Rollercon.
4. A portion of our back roof is getting replaced. Finally. The contractor is going to seal the chimney too. Praise Tiny Baby Jesus, these leaks just may stop in time for Christmas!
5. I found someone on Etsy that makes frames for those photo booth strips. We have so many of those cute pictures that I want to hang.
6. Doctor bills are SO much more manageable when your yearly deductible has been met. And I get to see hot doctor again this week.
7. If you missed it on Facebook, I shared this story from Door Sixteen about her 30-something experiences with acne and skin problems. I can’t tell you how much I can relate.

Giving thanks.

- Mel

Thankful for: the last two months off derby to clear my head, refocus and recharge. AND spend more “free” time with the boyfriend and friends.

Thankful for: the physical ability to run and CrossFit and skate and yoga to keep my mental sanity (and get a great ass in the meantime).

Thankful for: the boyfriend’s support — mentally and financially — in my (seemingly) never-ending job search.

Thankful for: having an extra dining room chairs to seat additional adults at Thanksgiving dinner.

Thankful for: my boyfriend being responsible for planning, purchasing and making said dinner.

Thankful for: spending the holiday with my sisters, nieces and dad.

Thankful for: having a blended family get-together.

Thankful for: an upcoming week off in December to travel.

Thankful for: these three cats that keep me warm in winter with furry snuggles.

Thankful for: feeling more like “me”… and getting back to the things I love.

Weekly Therapy: it’s the holiday season, so whoop-dee-do!

- Mel

the week:
Is it odd that, last Friday, for the first in the longest of times that I felt “pretty”? Maybe it was just my new eye makeup, or that the boyfriend and I had a really good date night, or maybe-just-maybe I am finally coming out of this stupid depressive, apathetic hole. I’m getting excited about coming back to derby within the next couple weeks too (hopefully this dang foot cooperates).

weekend:
Light Up Night! One of my favorite nights out in Pittsburgh. Also, one of the worst hangovers every year, so working ALL WEEKEND will be interesting. And then there’s Friendsgiving on Saturday…

There will be the usual carriage rides and gingerbread houses and the opening of the Christkindlmarkt in Market Square (People’s Gas Holiday Market) and fireworks (natch, it’s Pittsburgh), but this year’s celebrations also include FOOD TRUCKS. Get your nom on.

seven things, seven days:
1. I won a free piece of jewelry from local shop Jupe Boutique in a twitter contest — how nice is that?!
2. Trying not to think about my half birthday passing recently. How does this keep happening?! Age: What a bitch. The title of my memoir.
3. Ordered new skate boots for roller derby. And yes, they will be hot pink.
4. And then I had to order new boots from Splendid to offset my bank account being used solely for derby.
5. We spent three HOURS with an architect talking about possible renovations/gut job in our house (the second level needs help; and we need a real guest room).
6. My transcripts are complete, my transcripts are complete! Now if I could only get my advisor to return my emails.
7. It’s time to get Christmas Crazy! {via BurghBaby}

Don’t forget to hang up your sock!

30-day Challenges: on hiatus, but back for the new year

- Mel

It’s not too early to think about resolutions.

Yeah, life is not full of guarantees.
Yeah, life is not full of guarantees – money-back or otherwise.

To say the last year has been difficult is an understatement. As you know, I lost my grandfather in March, was told I had skin cancer in April (subsequent surgery in May), and then my grandmother passed in July. After grieving and vacationing and catching back up on life, I feel like I’ve spent the better part of the last six months… well, not feeling “better.” On the upside, I’m starting to feel like myself again. And feeling like I can handle a few 30-day challenges in the new year that were long-forgotten in 2013.

Promises Made, Promises Broken.

I started off the year with 30 days of NO ALCOHOL – my second year meeting the challenge; third-year attempt (I made it 28 days the first year). February was a lesson in waking up early; March, well, that’s when everything started to fail with my addiction to sweets. My 30-day yoga challenge for May was not possible because of my two-week healing (and no exercise) from MOHs surgery. For what it’s worth, I did NOT spend any money in June — that month’s intended challenge. (yay?) And I accepted a workout challenge in September (to replace giving up social media because… no) to start a fundamentals CrossFit program (not exercising every DAY, mind you, but starting the program AND going to all classes at 6am). Help.

A Year of Promises – 2013
January: 30 days of no alcohol.
February: 30 days of WAKING UP BEFORE 8am.
March: 30 days of no sweets
April: 30 days of “something new”
May: 30 days of yoga
June: 30 days spending freeze
July: 30 days of NO PANTS (dresses and skirts only; save for working out)
August: 30 days of volunteering
September: 30 days without social media
October: 30 days of dates!
November: 30 days of blog posts
December: 30 days of relaxing

Once you get off the ride, it’s hard to get back on.

Anyways, my 30-day challenges took a back seat to life, and I’m ready to go again January 1 with my annual no-alcohol challenge. But I’m also considering coordinating with a total Paleo month as well (I mean, since there’s no alcohol allowed anyway). But oh, THE CHEESE. I don’t know if I’ll keep the same list, but I’ll spend the next month figuring out how to plan the next year.

December, relaxing? Pssh.

What 30-day challenge ideas do you have — or do you complete — as part of your New Year’s goals or resolutions?

Image credit: from Stuart Miles via FreeDigitalPhotos.

The Steel City Garden — gardening with Doug Oster and a book giveaway!

- Mel

Approaching winter, it’s hard to think about gardening. But it’s the time of year to plant and plan certain outdoor tasks (and clean up all those leaves before the snow falls). And I feel like we’re constantly making outdoor plans (and pinning… lots of pinning). Gardening is a year-round sport, what with our courtyard and community garden plot. Shade plants, potted flowers and herbs, veggies and fruit… for a novice gardener, it can be overwhelming.

I was not born with a green — or black-and-gold — thumb, which is why I was excited to receive a book specifically about gardening. Garden personality Doug Oster brings local pride into the garden with his recent book: The Steel City Garden: Creating a One-of-a-Kind Garden in Black and Gold.

Steel City Garden Jacket Image

Why black and gold? Pittsburgh is the only city in the United States where all of its major sports teams share the same colors (it’s a way of life). The Steel City Garden introduces readers to eye-catching vegetation, like black tulips and buttercup shrubs, and quirky garden décor that all fit into our prideful color scheme. My favorite black-and-gold flower? Sunflower.

black and gold veggies steel city garden

You don’t have to call Western Pennsylvania home to enjoy this book either — Pittsburgh natives all over the country can still be found cheering on their favorite black-and-gold teams, even in their outdoor spaces. This book is the perfect gift idea for any Yinzer or ex-Pittsburgher garden lover looking to embrace a whole new level of loyalty.

black and gold flowers steel city gard

Black tulips… how beautiful are those?!

“The Steel City Garden can be a tribute to a city, a way of life, your favorite sports team or just a beautiful place to sit and enjoy.” – Doug Oster, from the Introduction

The Steel City Garden includes a variety of flowers, fruits and vegetables along with planting advice, gardening tips and info on each: where it works best, pests and diseases, and plant partners to consider. I enjoyed the added personal garden stories and the decor section — and especially that the entire book is dedicated to organic gardening. I was EXTRA GEEKED after opening the book and seeing a photo of a Steel City Derby Demons t-shirt too!

photo (5)

Skater? Fan? Lover of black-and-gold gardening!

Giveaway UPDATED: Want to get your own copy of The Steel City Garden book? Leave a comment on this post, and I’ll select a random winner on December 1, 2013 December 7, 2013 (retail value: $17.95).

About the Author: 
Doug Oster is The Backyard Gardener for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette. An Emmy Award-winning documentarian, he also won the Garden Writers Association (GWA) National Media Award in 2011 and 2013 for his work on “Digging with Doug,” a weekly video blog series through the Post-Gazette.

Steel City Flower image

Disclosure: I received a personal copy of The Steel City Garden book for review, and the publisher is sending one lucky winner his/her own copy. All opinions herein are my own. Read my disclosure policy for more info.

Weekly Therapy: if it ain’t broke… it’s probably ligament damage.

- Mel

the week:
How did this week go by so fast?

I had my first follow-up dermatology appointment since my MOHs surgery. Everyone keeps telling me the scar “looks really good!” or “they did a good job!” And why do I still feel, like, HAVE YOU SEEN MY FACE?! I know, I need to get that looked at… I did get a referral for another dermatologist in the area who can treat some of my other face “issues” — procedures they don’t do in my doc’s office (microderm, deep peels, laser). So, yay?

MOHs scar, circa four months ago
MOHs scar, circa four months ago

I also openly admitted that I’m all for Botox, just “not yet.” How you know you’re a 30-something.

weekend:
Date night at the Three Rivers Film Festival. We’re going to see the Lance Armstrong documentary, and then probably get some more bourbon and snacks at Butcher & the Rye. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been dreaming about that cauliflower dish since last weekend. Yes, CAULIFLOWER.

Saturday, my team is hosting a derby training camp. Which, meh, I’m off skates because my foot started bothering me again this week (I was actually starting to get excited about skating again). Scheduling an MRI as we speak.
Sigh.

seven things, seven days:
1. Took my few days off this week to binge-watch the first two seasons of Scandal. OBSESSED!
2. A day spa is opening in my neighborhood — I’m so freaking excited!
3. Also back on the Sprig box bandwagon.
4. Now that I know we’re hosting some family for Thanksgiving, I’m starting some Holiday Meal Planning Pinning. Leave me some ideas, please!
5. The coffee table I wanted from West Elm is DISCONTINUED. I’m so mad. SO MAD.
6. Running outside in the cold. Nope. Can’t get used to it.
7. We all have people like this in our lives. Energy vampires: how to avoid being drained (and a quiz!). {via Psych Central}