Mood Enhancers

March 30: a lesson in emotional eating

- Mel

No sweets. NO SWEETS FOR 30 DAYS. I knew this would be a difficult month, but really didn’t anticipate HOW HARD keeping desserts away from my pie hole would be. It was a long, cold month.

Within the first week of giving up sweets, I had a four-day headache.

Then I had a tooth pulled and continuously craved ice cream during the healing process.

St. Patrick’s Day and my anniversary happened… this was my first “cheat” day: an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet, which, naturally, included a dessert table, a bananas foster table AND a make-your-own ice cream table. The ice cream felt so wonderful on my gums that I almost tossed the entire month-long challenge in the garbage right then-and-there.

I was determined to finish strong, however; intsead using my “free” day at the end of the month (originally planned for Easter) to make up for the one-day lapse.

Each day for the last week of the month, the breakroom at my part-time job was filled with cookies and doughnuts and candy.

Then I had a death in the family and was surrounded by sugary gifts from friends and neighbors. Sigh.

Basically, after giving up sweets for 16 days straight, on the 17th day I fell to my sugar cravings because of a flaw in the emotional eating segment of my psyche. I pressed restart for another few days, then succumbed again. I didn’t just stumble, I GONE TRIPPED AND BROKE MY WILLPOWER. All of it.

And then on the 31st day, at the sight of my first period in several months, I celebrated my failure with a crushed Samoas cookie vanilla sundae. Because that’s what 30-something females do: we eat away our PMS and feelings.

What you missed:
Read more about my 30-day challenges for 2013.
January: no alcohol!
February: it’s wake-up time!

February 30: a lesson in getting out of bed

- Mel

I am NOT a morning person.

I am also an insomniac. In an attempt to regulate my sleeping schedule and embrace the creativity that comes with early-morning writing and generally be super cranky for 30 days, this month’s Wake Up Every Morning Before 8am had disappointing results. Meaning: I actually slept less and not more. I’d be worn out from a long day, and still be up until 1am or later (even when retiring to bed by 11pm) and still have to wake up by 8am. Not to mention, this last week we had painters come EVERY morning by 7am. SEVEN. I was exhausted and cranky and unmotivated and uncreative and felt lethargic for most of February. I know how important sleep is, and I’ve tried every trick in the book (there’s no TV in our bedroom; I read before bedtime; I drink tea) and I’ve tried several different drugs. (let me tell you about the time I took 2 Simply Sleep pills before an international flight from Germany and was WIDE AWAKE the entire trip. FML.) On top of all that, I have TWO separate sleeping problems (well, three if you count the asshole cat that wakes me up at 3:30): going to sleep and staying asleep. It’s one, the other or both on most nights… that I usually make up for by way of afternoon naps on my days off and a night or two a month of dead sleep for 10-12 hours (from pure exhaustion, I’m sure).

The only time I felt rested this month was in California — which, shocker, is closer to my regular sleep patterns considering Pacific Time (I was asleep by 11pm every night and up by 8am — and OUT THE DOOR with really shitty hotel coffee, doing things, by 9am). And if you’re thinking “it’s vacation, of course you slept better.” Not so fast… I had derby responsibilities nearly EVERY day on our trip, so it’s not like it was a no-schedule-free-for-all. Plus, there was a lot of drive time and no sleep in the car (since I was mostly an anxious passenger).

I have to accept that I just might not be on the same schedule as the “average” 30-something. Those two extra hours of sleep are imperative to my well-being. So this 30-day challenge* was a lesson in listening to MY body; not what society thinks is the “right time to be up-and-at-’em.” Also: ear plugs are a MUST. This is a new discovery, thanks to an awesome care package I received.

Do you have your own sleep challenges? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

*I used two days from the end of January to make up for the short month. And to be completely transparent, I missed two days — one, the day after vacation, I woke up at 10am; two, the morning after a couple margaritas, I woke up at 9am. I gave it the ol’ college try!

Next up: NO SUGAR FOR 30 DAYS IN MARCH. *gulp*

Read more:
My year of 30-day challenges.
January Success: No Alcohol for 30 days!

Motivation. And puking.

- Mel

There was a moment I thought my knees would give out. And when I puked in my mouth leaning over to gasp for breath (ew, the sweet, sweet burn of blueberry waffles, banana and peanut butter). I also had a throbbing headache, coinciding with dizzyness (probably getting sick… again). And then i had to run to dry heave into the rink toilets when it was all over. Yeah, I pushed myself.

I still hear the voice of my junior high cross country coach, telling me that if I throw up at the finish line, I get a cheeseburger. I guess that meant then that we pushed ourselves just enough. I threw up a lot that season.

I not only passed my roller derby assessments; I nailed them. Surpassed all requirements, so that I can try out in January for our league’s A (Varsity) team.

I am endlessly amazed at what this 30-something body can do.

Identity: who am I?

- Mel

A man/woman is many things, they say. Identity, or psychological identity, is a set of distinctive characteristics that one acquires through self-reflection and awareness. Identity can be lost or evolve with life experience, daily tasks or habits, and age. Just as we are these many things, makes us all unique in our total identity.

Who am I?
30-something
Girlfriend
Friend
Cat Owner LOVER!
Roller Derby Athlete
Teammate
Writer
Sometimes I’m witty, but most times I think I come across like an asshole.
Sister/Daughter/Granddaughter/Aunt
Volunteer
Frequent Vacationer
Adventurer
Wannabe Therapist
INFP
Failure. (yes, I see even this through the eyes of an optimist)
Procrastinator (this, however, is bad)
OCD
Brunette
German/Irish/Hungarian/Czech
Late-bloomer
Resilient

^^ also me (why so many pictures of me + yard drink?)

Who are you?

Aroma-therapy: my favorite scents

- Mel

Last weekend, the boyfriend asked me to rank my favorite scents in order. I have no idea how this conversation was even prompted.

I think he was surprised by a few of the (admittedly) ridiculous ones, but I was (am) completely serious:

  • Clean, fresh linens (I cannot STAND when clothing smells like you’ve been sitting outside for too long; adding to that: a linen is not fresh if it has been hanging outside. Just saying.)
  • Lemons (boyfriend also hates when I put them down the drain… but it’s like a fresh burst of citrus tree!)
  • Bleach (no, really; it’s the only way the bathroom is REALLY clean; I relate that smell to cleanliness.)
  • Gardenias (I might have forgotten this in my spouting off, but it’s on the list)
  • Lavender (I DID remember this one; I currently have a bouquet of dried, smashed lavender in my car… perhaps that’s what started the conversation?)
  • Mulling spices (reminds me of Fall and Winter at my grandmother’s making spiced cider)
  • New paper (printer paper, greeting cards, a box of new envelopes, journals… not newspapers or books though. They smell dirty. *smirk*)

So random, right?

Aromatherapy is popular for a reason. Your sense of smell is most closely tied to memory, and the smell of a favorite flower or spice or an old boyfriend’s cologne can be mood changing — both positive and negative. I can often be REALLY sensitive to smells (actually, most of my senses are super-heightened), but the fresh and airy scents help me relax.

And the pungent ones put me into cleaning overdrive — ha!

Finding Your Place: the loss and cultivation of identity

- Mel

I realized that making a commitment to blog for 30 days straight, that I’d be “calling it in” on more than one occasion (I promise not TOO many only-picture posts; I don’t want to talk your ear off either). But the REAL goal is opening up this page every day, logging into WordPress, considering what to write in this space — the possibility of connecting with Readers (hi there, if there’s anyone out there!) — creating a habit. Creating a new identity, albeit online.

Starting over with this new site, there is considerable time to realize any sort of growth or success or even pride. In life, you experience many stages of growth and need to adapt accordingly. Take this blog, for instance: I need to find my voice here. Find topics to write about that matter to a completely different audience. Just writing SOMETHING is an exercise in finding myself again.

I’ve now experienced the death of a blog too — a “popular” one at some point in its existence. And, likely, an idea that was stretched for far longer than its need. Can the Stages of Grief be applied to the loss of a blog?

The Kubler-Ross model, commonly known as the Stages of Grief, include the following steps:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance

More recently, there has been the addition of Shock and Guilt to encompass a “seven stages” cycle of grief.

I only kicked the “other” blog to the curb when I could hit PUBLISH on that final Goodbye post. When I knew everything would “be OK” (however many emotions I go through that equate to relapsing those stages). And as I go through a variety of online and in-real-life changes, I’m feeling a considerable loss of identity.

I thought the worst of that was behind me when I turned 35…

Things to Do With An Extra Hour

- Mel

The ending of Daylight Savings Time is tonight; standard time resumes at 2am. The cure for my insomnia? Likely not, since I’ll be likely be awake to see it. But I’d give anything to use that hour for some extra sleep. The time change in the Spring always wrecks havoc on my sleeping schedule that inevitably lasts throughout the summer.

Where my sleep-challenged party people at?

Here are some items on my to-do list for the weekend that will easily fill up that 25th hour slot (since the likelihood of me sleeping is nil):

  • eyebrow waxing – overdue
  • paint my nails – trying to get back into the habit
  • shave my legs – um… it’s been too long
  • rearrange my attic guest room – to what? I’m not quite sure. But I want a reading nook.
  • prime a dresser for painting – finally got “permission” for this project
  • catch up on episode of Damages – still on Season 2

OK. So maybe I need, like, five more hours. And then another three or so to sleep.

How do you plan to spend your extra hour?

Post #3 complete.

30 Day Project for this 30-something: A Post Per Day in November

- Mel

I needed a project, a new passion — a new blog. I’ve finally (effectively?) killed my former space on the Web to concentrate on something new (here!). The decision was difficult for sure, as it was a huge part of my identity for so long, but I couldn’t refresh something that it wasn’t anymore — something that I wasn’t anymore (a 20-something single blogger, natch).

So, November ends one chapter of my online life and begins another.

What I hope to accomplish with posting everyday:

  • get back into the habit of regular writing
  • find my voice again
  • adapt this blog to incorporate new areas of interest
  • use as inspiration for future projects
  • develop regular series for this blog

Post #1 complete.

Have you ever started a new blog after posting elsewhere for a long time, or have you ever just stopped blogging? Tell me about your experience!