On Meditation and Other Habits That Have Fallen to the Wayside

I sustained a 90-day daily meditation streak. And on Day 91, I opened my Headspace app in bed – as I previously mentioned my intent at moving my practice to another time of day and hahahahahahahaha JUST KIDDING – and proceeded to fall asleep. Before actually doing the meditation.

The streak was broken. All I had to do was restart on Day 92. But May 13 came and went. Aside from a mid-flight relaxation session while traveling to Vancouver, I haven’t done a single meditation exercise since.

Funny thing about habits, eh?

(Apparently my Canadien accent is still hanging on.)

Spring quarter really killed my motivation for meditation, my daily bedtime and morning coffee reading rituals, and my run schedule. I even stopped my meal tracking. I mean, I have certainly filled the void with other types of exercise and fun and way too much scrolling and trolling social media and even playing stupid games on my phone called “Toon Blast.” While I allowed myself the freedom to just do “whatever,” the structure of a training plan and daily habits kept me balanced (and really, really helps me sleep better). Plus I was making excuses: I’m not training for anything right now, so I don’t need to run at all or track my food. And because I wasn’t training for anything and wasn’t tracking my food, I was eating sandwiches for several meals a day and not eating my healthier lunch salads. And on and on.

Why is it so hard to restart habits? It’s not about motivation, FYI. I truly believe that action begets motivation. Though introducing so many components at once is setting up for overwhelm and, possibly, failure. The key is to integrate small pieces at a time.

My training schedule for my fall 50K started this week, and I’m committed to seeing to that race as a strong participant (and working with a coach who takes the guessing game of training plans out of the equation and out of my mental space). I have re-introduced my morning book with my coffee and slowly working on getting to bed at an earlier time for my nighttime reading. Though I’m on summer break, I am slowly returning to my books and notes and fellow cohorts to prepare for my upcoming internship. Summer break has been a good opportunity to reconnect with friends and be super social. And also kickstart how I want to use my minutes. Oh, hi! I’m also here again, too, hoping to reinvigorate my regular blogging habit.

I leave for two weeks in late July and will be wholly uprooted from my comfort and quiet zones, and my intention is to have my habits firmly in place by then. Though I will be in a different location and I will be sharing a coffee maker with WHO KNOWS how many people in a Bay area hostel, I can bring my habits (and my books) with me.

Farm Report: 6.3.18

Here’s the corn sitch right now:

Iowa Corn - Booneville

Though with this weekend’s rain, it looks like it doubled in size overnight.

summer summer summertime

Sing it, Will Smith.

Not only is it Drive with the Windows Down and the Radio Loud Season, it’s affirmatively GET OUTSIDE weather. Apparently, it’s also Allergy Season (thanks, Iowa!) and Swallow a Lot of Bugs Season and maybe-possibly Is That or Isn’t That Poison Ivy Season. I’ve been riding my bike a lot already this summer, with trips to the High Trestle Trail (twice!), a downtown city journey when my friend was visiting, and a night out with friends to Jasper Winery (which included a very dark, very buggy trail ride home). I have another long ride on the calendar during the Arts Festival weekend (with a visit to the Downtown Farmer’s Market, for sure).

Despite the humidity, the temperatures haven’t felt so oppressive as they did last year. Though I am not actively running outdoors right now to compare. Training starts this month for my fall 50k. I just need to get through this school semester first.

primer for the primaries

Tuesday is Iowa’s primary. Learn more about the candidates.

midwest shenanigans

OMG, when will I remember that Milwaukee is NOT in Minnesota?! It definitely makes a difference when you tell your friend the driving distance to Des Moines. 🤦‍♀️

Product Review: Orange Mud Gear Vest Pack

Disclaimer: I received a Gear Vest from Orange Mud to review in exchange for a blog review. Opinions are my own!

I had the awesome opportunity to review Orange Mud gear during my time as a BibRave Ambassador. Read my post about the Phone.Flask.Vest. The P.F.V. has got a LOT of rotation in my training. And now that I have another 50k training cycle on the horizon and building back up my base on the trails, it’s a great time to start thinking about hydration vests that are better for the longer distances. Orange Mud reached out at the perfect time to review one of their packs, the Gear Vest 2L (I should note: I was initially contacted about reviewing the Endurance Pack, but they sent me a Gear Vest. Nonetheless, I was excited to give this guy a go.)

Orange Mud hydration pack review blog

Orange Mud designed this pack for those competing in sports with up-and-down and/or fast movements (so, great for running, cycling, hiking, etc.). Most of the storage is up front, with capability to hold two 600ml soft flasks (sold separately from the pack – I have a couple from other purchases), nutrition, gear, and larger smartphones (I have an iPhone 7 and I didn’t feel it bounce at all). The back is intended to hold the 1L bladder, which is included with the Gear Vest. There’s a cord on the exterior back of the bad intended to hold light layers (say, if you need to stow a rain jacket). There are two ways to adjust the vest: first by cinching the straps underneath the arms and then with the two “chest harness” straps up front (these guys can be adjusted up and down the chest). I… could see how the placement of the sternum straps might be uncomfortable depending on breast size (the Gear Vest does not take into account gender specific-sizing). However, Orange Mud designed this vest with women in mind. Since the chest straps slide, they can be re-positioned depending on your chest size. It was mentioned that some larger-sized women also decide to position both straps above the breasts for the best fit.

First impression: Love all the options for pockets and storing extra fuel and trash. I can fit my flask upfront so I can carry water in the bladder and Tailwind in a separate bottle (or vice versa). The back isn’t necessarily a pocket – it can be if you use it without the bladder – and I imagine you could toss a thing or two in with the bladder. There’s a cinch cord on the back of the pack as well to store extra clothing items. No option for trek poles on this vest.

The 2L in the gear title is a little of a misnomer. The bladder is only 1L but the Gear Vest has capability to carry 2L total cargo.

OM hydration vest blogger iowa trail runner review

First run: The vest is surprisingly lightweight, and I didn’t experience any bouncing during my trail runs. I was able to fit it snugly across my chest (with plenty of room to cinch smaller if needed – I’m fairly small-chested) and it was easy to adjust and remove. I experienced a little sloshing from the bladder – blowing into it helped a little, though it changed the fit of the vest. FWIW, that’s what I was always told to do by others. Allowing all the air to release via the bite valve is the suggested work-around (though, per my own use, that’s never worked for me in any bladder, Orange Mud or otherwise. YMMV.). I definitely need to trim the hose; it’s nice they ship it long though, so you can trim to your preference. My phone was secure in one of the front pockets, and I used the other to store some chews. Though the back pocket is not easily accessible while it’s on, I tossed a waffle in there JUST IN CASE. There’s a key hook in one of the front pockets, which I use to secure my whistle should I ever encounter a shark or something while I’m running.

Orange Mud Gear Vest blog review

And then I realized that the vest has its own whistle built into one of the front harness clips. GENIUS!

I wore this hydration vest over a short-sleeved top (and never a tank). And while I didn’t experience any chafing, I could see how it might chafe underneath my arms if I were wearing a tank top (or just my sports bra). That said, I probably need to play a bit more with the fit to get the desired “no movement” (and maybe get enough courage to run in a sports bra).

Fun features: Not one but TWO Velcro shoulder pockets for my Fig Newtons! I really like the positioning of these, similar to the P.F.V.

Orange Mud trail runner gear vest review blog

Meh: One of my biggest complaints about the P.F.V. is the lack of a zippered pocket, and I have the same complaint of the Gear Vest. Orange Mud’s Endurance Pack – the hydration pack I thought I was getting – has a secured zippered pocket in the back of the pack. Though I’m not sure if it’s important enough for me to want to upgrade and/or get yet another pack. (For now, I store my key and ID in the zippered pocket of my shorts).

Last thoughts: I feel like this pack is a great for mid-range to longer activities, and I plan to use it a lot for trail running. As typical with Orange Mud products, I am impressed by the quality and plentiful features that are adaptable based on what I like to carry on my adventures.

The Orange Mud Gear Vest sells for $109.95 and comes in three colorways (black-orange, black-green, and white).

Goals for May – and April updates

I am busy. I know, that’s like a big no-no word these days. I am intentionally busy. And maybe because the weather is SUPER NICE (outside of that tornado passing through on Thursday canceling my plans for running-and-margaritas), but I feel energized by all the events taking place and not the least bit like a social anxiety hermit. One would say (read: my school work) that I am distracted by the outdoors right now but I won’t feel bad about that one bit. (Wo)man, if I’m being honest, motivation for grad school is so low right now… but history says that it will soon peak again.

Image source: Lifehack

Summary and review on my goals for April:

1. Adapt intentional practice to my daily meditation. Ehhhh, no. I’m still doing meditation every day but I am still using nearly session to help me fall asleep. So am I really doing relaxation and not meditation? Likely. I still hope to modify my practice and/or get back to morning meditations. I wasn’t very intentional about this in April but I am slowly making progress so far in May.

2. Visit a new art exhibit or revisit the Art Center. I went to Pappajohn Sculpture Park to view the new Kusama pumpkin, which KINDDDDAAAA fits the intention. But. BUT! Yesterday, I went to the First Fridays event at Mainframe Studios, and it was super fun to explore the space. And we came home with art!

3. Create and execute a (somewhat flawless) one-hour workshop! Executed and somewhat flawless! I’m really proud of myself for rolling with some of the challenges that were presented during the session and tweaked and changed course when necessary. It was excellent practice for me!

4. Visit a Des Moines coffee shop. I went to a Caribou. Seriously. Not even close to what I had in mind.

5. Get my bike tuned up and go to a Women on Adventures bike ride event. I ended up tuning my bike myself the day before the event (take that, procrastination!) and didn’t flake out on attending. It was one of my most favorite adventures in Des Moines so far. I got in 27 miles, got to see the High Trestle Trail Bridge (and a few local establishments along the trail), and I’m SO HAPPY about the new connections I made (I already have another bike date set for June)!

Also, while it wasn’t an intentional goal, in April I ran a .10 mile further (22.9 miles) than I did in March (22.8 miles)! I’m back to running three times per week and doing 20-30 minute workouts that are heart rate-focused. I am incorporating my PT exercises into either my run or strength days, and working with a personal trainer has been helpful to get familiar with the weight room again while also having a supervisor to ensure I am activating my glutes! It takes a lot of mental energy to be mindful about my workouts but it’s all for the greater good of my body working properly. This is my second go-around with a Lifetime Fitness membership, and in March I visited more days that I did for an entire six months when I previously was a member. (Does that sentence even make sense?)

So, what do I have on tap for May? It’s mostly school-centric because there is a LOT of shit to do still for this quarter, like, um… finishing my first draft of my lit review that’s due on Sunday:

  • Find a participant (local athlete or likewise individual interested in performance coaching) for a recorded session. Interested and live in Des Moines area? Get in touch!
  • Find a GROUP for a recorded team building session.
  • Decide on AirBnb for my my upcoming summer internship in California and get that booked (I already have a group of fellow cohorts that I’ll be rooming with).
  • STUDY FOR MY COMP EXAM. Eeeeeeeek. My exam date is May 31-June 1, and… well, I need to start focusing.
  • Turn 41 with grace and positivity (and hopefully with friends and some wine and/or cheese).

Unrelated to school, my additional intentions for physical activity:

  • Do yoga once per week.
  • Return to boxing (YAY!) at least 2x per week.
  • Start running on trails again (at least once every other week).
  • Bike once at least every other week.
  • Practice my golf swing at least once per week outside of my clinics.

Time to get to work.

I did a cartwheel and it hurt my hip and this is what I hate the most about getting older.

Cartwheels are the best.

No, THE BEST.

When spring hits and that fluffy green (allergy-inducing) stuff develops on open fields – or when a large empty carpeted hallway opens up from your hotel room/elevator – it’s Cartwheel Time.

Cartwheel Time (CT) has been one of my favorite pastimes since I could master fine motor development. CT started sometime before I actually took up gymnastics but lasted well after I quit the sport and morphed into my cheerleader identity that took me into my 20s and jived well with my Cruise Director (aka: Life of the Party) persona that celebrated CT sometimes at 4am in the parking lot of a Taco Bell.

Ahem.

I coach a group of girls through Girls on the Run and we encourage any and all means of moving with the goal of always moving forward. There are a couple of girls who enjoy breaking up their run/walks with cartwheels. I like this very, very much, and I decided to participate this week since I’m back running-without-injury again and enjoying the heck out of this weather.

During spring break, I had my first assistant coach-ship with a local soccer non-profit camp where the girls (outnumbered by both adults and boys) had NEVER SEEN AN ADULT DO A CARTWHEEL. Naturally, that, too, called for CT.

I experienced an Achilles injury that same week of camp, which is probably coincidental, but I’ve come to find out that it stems from an underlying instability with my hip. At the time, of course, I had no idea how these seemingly un-relatable things were connected. And 7 weeks of physical therapy later, here we are:

Hurting myself with cartwheels.

And yes, my PT said, “maybe you should not be doing cartwheels rn.”

When I say “hurting” I’m not talking about a legit injury, but my hip flares up and when I did a cartwheel last week I couldn’t walk immediately after (and not because I kicked myself in the face or anything). My hip has been angry with me since we had to start regularly doing things like Single Leg Glute Bridges and Banded Monster Walks to make it stronger. It’s a sort of tough love situation where my hip needs to be told to “simmer down now” during certain forms of activity and remind us how we’re in it for the long haul.

I turn 41 in, like, 10 days. I no longer care if I have big boobs. Being untanned is acceptable. I give zero fucks about my un-dyed grey hairs. Facial peels left my face glowing for a whole three weeks and basically reverted back to where I started only $300 broker. Where is this going?! Look, I don’t really care if I’m a fast or slow runner (only that I can run!) or if my VO2 Max is optimal for a 19-year-old (it is, so OK I’m kinda braggy and this is awesome). But cartwheels… not being able to do cartwheels because my hip hurts is the saddest of sads for my aging body.

Farm Report: 4.20.18

I waffled (mmmm, breakfast) a bit on importing the posts from my prior blog and decided to do so. If you see anything wonky in the archives, let me know. And if you are at all interested in running and running gear and the running community, well there is a lot of that from the last few years. I don’t want to only write about running, so here’s where I am currently – a transition between a “running blog” and something of a “lifestyle blog.” Which… whatever, I’ll work it out as I go. I no longer have to pretend I have dual identities, which also means that I’ll no longer have to keep two blogs interesting up-to-date.

amaizing corn

really amaizing

I’m sure that I’ll get on SOME kind of list for Googling this, and I only did so because of all the pot references today (*eyeroll*): which grows faster, corn or marijuana? Results are inconclusive. Don’t try this at home. (And definitely not in Iowa, where it is not yet legal.)

moo bitch get out the whey

As part of an on-boarding package purchased at my gym, I completed both my active and resting metabolic assessments. Somehow, this tiny body is supposed to consume 4208 calories a day to properly fuel at its current level of activity (which is considerably reduced because of my Achilles injury) and I have lost all ability to comprehend how bodies work.

FOUR THOUSAND CALORIES.

Mind you, I regularly assume around 2700 calories on my active days, but this assessment is basically telling me that is the minimum my body requires for basic functioning and HOW AM I EVEN ALIVE RIGHT NOW. Also, I guess I can eat an avocado with every meal? Because no clue how I even get 229 grams of fat in my diet every day without eating McDonald’s cheeseburgers. (If I ate 3 avocados a day, I would only get 63 grams of fat. What kind of hell is this?!)

See also: currently looking for a local nutritionist.

midwest shenanigans

Are you new to Des Moines? Check out this welcoming event and RSVP for the reception!

If you’re not new here, you might have heard about the Drake Relays and its accompanying series of road races that start this weekend. Originally, I was supposed to run the half marathon, but since I got injured, I will be volunteering at the Capital Striders water stop. See me for all your Mile 8 motivation!

Goals for April – and March Updates

BIG FEAR has been a theme around which much of my goal work has focused. What am I afraid of? has been a constant in considering some of the reasons why I either a) don’t end up doing something or b) freaking out needlessly. I have neither the mission of letting others down or creating undue stress for myself. So, I persist in exploring why fear continues to come up for me.

Let’s recap first for March:

1. Find one day every other week – at least 2 hours – where I am working outside of my home. This did not happen this month; however, I DID leave the house quite a bit this month – just not with the intention of work.
2. Connect with a friend – old or new – each and every week. DONE. This small act has made me so happy this month!
3. Do 3 things out of my comfort zone this month. I didn’t necessarily keep track of the quantity but I kept the ultimate goal of getting out of my comfort zone as a recurring theme of the month. So much so, that I submitted an application to do a workshop at a youth camp and OMG I HAVE TO ACTUALLY FOLLOW THROUGH THIS MONTH.
4. Visit one new local establishment, restaurant, shop, museum. Yes! My husband and I went to THREE new (to me) restaurants this month (801 Chophouse, Splash, and Aposto), and I met with friends at four new places (Gong Fu Tea, The Hall, The Wine Experience, and Z Mariks). I really took advantage of Spring Break. In April, I would like to do more than restaurant or drinking establishments.
5. Start a reflection journal for school. Ugh, I still haven’t started this. It’s now spring semester and will I ever? I need to explore more why I initially set this intention and haven’t been able to follow through. More to come on that reflection.
6. Publish a new One Word Project post. Yes! Read my latest post.

As I previously mentioned, spring quarter is in full swing. I am taking five classes – including starting my coursework for my corresponding Entrepreneurship Certificate. I’m excited about all my classes right now and I am also realistic that this workload doesn’t offer much “free” time to focus on other areas. And also, see #3 above where I have to create and implement a youth workshop. *gulp*

In any event, here is what I put together for April:

1. I am already doing a daily meditation – in fact, I am currently on a 54-day streak! That said, many of those times have been a OMG I’M IN BED AND I FORGOT TO DO MY MEDITATION. So I play the guided sleep meditation. Meditation is meditation (and this session in particular, while only a few minutes helps me sleep like a freaking baby)… BUT. I want to make it more of an intentional practice rather than another “thing to do” on my bedtime task list. So my goal is to at least 3x per week to do my meditation in the morning or afternoon for at least 10 minutes.

2. I want to visit the Des Moines Art Center, or a different gallery or see a new exhibition at least once this month.

3. Create and execute a (somewhat flawless) one-hour workshop!

4. I started making a Des Moines coffee shop list. There are SO MANY that I haven’t yet been. I’m already driving into downtown twice a week for physical therapy, so at least once a week, I’m going to hit one of those on my list.

5. Get my bike into Rasmussen for a season tune-up. I have a Women on Adventures event planned for the end of April, for which I’ll need my bike!

This sounds like a good place to start! What’s on your goal list for April?

Race Recap: G.O.A.T.z 50k Trail Run

Subtitled: That time I talked to my Dead Nana — or: How not to make a race playlist.

GOATz 50k omaha trail race recap blog

This post is a long time coming. I ran the GOATz 50k trail run in October 2017 (GOATz = Greater Omaha Area Trail runnerZ) and I still have a strong emotional reaction to my memories of the race. I guess if we’re going for spoiler alerts (ha, TOO LATE if you follow me on Instagram or are one of my running friends), I finished. I also completed it in an hour-and-a-half longer than I estimated. So there’s that. Since it was my first ultramarathon I wasn’t sure what to expect (suffice to say is to expect nothing and everything), but I thought I was better trained to at least finish a marathon distance before I hit the struggle bus.

GOATz 50k flat runner
Flat Mel ready for her 1st ultra!

No. No, that is not at all what happened. Completing two loops was itself a feat – AND I STILL HAD ONE MORE TO GO. So, I continued. But let’s back up…

GOATz 50k trail runs start line morning blog
Am I ready for this, really?

Lots of open sun and beautiful skies, which you will see as a common backdrop to the pictures. The morning started off chilly, which called for arm sleeves worn with my short-sleeve short. (I wore shorts and my LEGEND compression socks on the bottom and my Under Armour trail shoes). I didn’t get too warm until the 3rd loop.

Is it a bad omen for a race that not even a mile into it that WE MISSED OUR TURN. I understand shit happens on race day and we’re ultimately responsible for knowing the course, but a Volunteer standing at that intersection clapped and cheered as we passed by where she was supposed to direct us up the hill. I mistakingly followed the herd until reaching a clearing where everyone was stopped trying to figure out where we went next. We retraced our steps back to where we missed the turn. Nobody who is already running 30 miles needs to run EVEN MORE. So I was already a little irritated early on not knowing how far off course we went. (I ended up logging 31.37 miles for this 50k per my Garmin, so overall not really that far off.)

GOATz 50k trail runs almost finished race recap

Physically, I held up for the race and was mostly fatigued. But by the 3rd loop my calf was cramping (can’t remember which one now), then I was getting a Charlie horse in my arch (left side). I was feeling a lot of discomfort in my hip area and top of thighs — it wasn’t pain; it kind of felt like menstrual cramps but definitely not where my uterus is. Sooooo, cramping I guess? Needless to say, I was barely running on the 3rd loop – it was more like a death shuffle.

There were moments were I got a “second wind” (and a third, fourth, etc…. so many winds). Around mile 17, Kaci Lickteig looped me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ — though it was a boost to my spirit! She’s so dang stealthy, and I was listening to my music at the time, but it’s like I could FEEL her coming up behind me. And just as quickly as I could pay myself a deprecating compliment in her honor, she cheered me on and was gone.

GOATz 50k trail runner blog race recap

I was having difficulty eating during this race and my usual fueling wasn’t working. This was something that I feared and probably something I should have practice more in hindsight. What worked for me on the marathon distance did not for this race. I couldn’t eat anything at the end of that 2nd loop — I tried pickles with salt and pickle juice at the aid stations; then I swapped to Tailwind in my hydration flask just for the calories (no stomach upset, thankfully; just couldn’t… chew). At the mid-loop aid station, around Mile 25, I finally had some jelly beans and felt little better. I dreamed about sitting down for majority of that second lap. And sit I did when I reached that aid station. For at least 5 minutes. And then I continued on. But not without considering drowning myself in swimming across Lake Cunningham. There was one aid station on the course and then the usual stock of snacks and drank at the start/end of each loop. I think it was manned by volunteers from Runner’s Church (?), if I recall correctly, and those ladies were the best at keeping the mood cheery and the food filled. Before their stop, there was a single kybo – which I had to use on my 1st loop (so random; I almost never have to use the toilets during a race). The background ambiance was set by vuvuzela noises. I liked the variety of food options since I was having trouble eating and wasn’t sure what I could eat as the race progressed.

GOATz 50k trail runs iowa run blogger finish chute

I remember being super annoyed with my hydration vest (I ran in my Orange Mud Phone.Flask.Vest) and by the 3rd loop, it was basically just flopping off of me, hanging on by my shoulders. I no longer liked the compression on my chest and the side straps were aggravating me. I would definitely run in a different vest for my next trail or ultra race.

Another mistake that I made during this race was to leave my music playlist up for chance. I shuffled ALL MUSIC and was initially pleased at the variety (singing out loud and having fun like I usually do). And then Mary J. Blige came on, and I started crying a bit. The next song? “Fix You” by Coldplay. I fucking lost it. I was a crying sobbing MESS.

I mean, seriously guys, these lyrics:

When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse
When the tears come streaming down your face
‘Cause you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
What could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
But high up above or down below
When you are too in love to let it show
Oh but if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
oh and tears come streaming down your face
And I
Tears streaming down your face
I promise you I will learn from all my mistakes
oh and the tears streaming down your face
And I
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

“If you never try you’ll never know just what you’re worth”
Inspiring, no. No no no no this is not what you should be hearing while you are attempting to do one of the hardest things in your life which is so obviously tied to your worth and identity. *sobs again*

GOATz 50k trail race magical tree forest
If I were to pick a place to die on the course, it would be here.

And then because I was sad, I started thinking about all the other things that made me sad. This routed my thoughts somehow to my grandmother who passed away a few years ago and I guess I was kind of talking to her about my race and how I was feeling and how I missed her and OMG THIS WAS SO HARD. So very, very hard. One could say that I still had some open wound that I healed during that race.

From talking to some of my ultra-running friends, these variations in mood come with the terrority – particularly when it’s your first and you are so fatigued you just don’t know what to do or feel.

My solution at the time? Get angry. Yin-yang. And then there was that time that I thought this couple out walking the course (non-runners) were there to kidnap me and I went into a really weird flight-or-fight response.

So then I started fantasizing about punching Deadpool. This might sound a little weird, but there was a volunteer actually dressed as Deadpool and I knew where he would be sitting on my last loop, so I started hashing a plan to beat him up when I passed. Totally normal. Until he wasn’t there and I was filled with the most unholy of run rage that I have ever experienced. I think it was another 3 miles (?) of running so mad that I wanted to throw gravel rocks.

THE RAGE.

GOATz 50k Lake Cunningham

All that said, Lake Cunningham is a beautiful place to run around (maybe a bit too open sun for this sort of distance though). The weather was amazing, and there were small sailboats on the water, which was neat. My favorite part was what I called the Magical Christmas Trees section of the trail – it was so pretty and peaceful! There were plenty of hills to run on this course, many of which I walked, but none so crazy as running over at Hitchcock.

And I shit you not, as I was approaching the finish line, Bob-fucking-Seger was playing. My favorite song at that: Roll Me Away. I could not believe it (and I’m pretty sure I yelled-asked someone near the finish line if it was really playing because it wouldn’t be the first time that day that I was hallucinating). Naturally, I started scream-singing as the race director placed that finishers medal around my neck.

GOATz 50k finish line lake cunningham bob seger
OMG THEY’RE PLAYING BOB SEGER!

My friends all talked me into signing up for this race because: a) the GOATz put on awesome races (figured this out early on with my Hitchcock experience) and b) this was a beginner-friendly course. The GOATz community knows how to party! And their race support and pre-race communication was top-notch. Love the GOATz. For this race, finishers get an awesome medal carved from wood, a race branded drop bag and a super cozy long-sleeved hoodie (bag and hoodie not pictured). The bag came in handy at the loop start/end point, but many racers also used the same bag so it’s important to distinguish your bag in some way from the others. I liked the convenience of being able to grab or stow something in my bag when I came in to finish a loop.

GOATz 50k trail runs bib and medal

Besides having enough energy to sing at the finish, I was pretty depleted energy-wise. I was kind of limping back to the car (thankfully, the husband was driving the hour-and-a-half trek home) — my feet and hips HURT when I was done. Also, my two big toenails had this weird yellowy bloody viscous liquid covering them as I took off my socks, but no visible cuts or active bleeding, and I never had any bruised toenails. Weird. By the time I got home, I had to crawl upstairs to the shower (where I sat on my shower bench lol). I took PTO the day following the race (thank Baby Jesus that was a good choice) and used the elevators at work when I returned a day later. Three days after the race I was back to climbing four flights to my office. I was pleased at my recovery, and I was fine by Saturday to run a 10k trail race. When I said this was my 1st ultra experience and despite some of my low points and frustration with how I performed, I’m definitely training for another (planning on Doggone Tired 50k in October, pending my Achilles recovery continues to improve).

OFFICIAL RESULTS
Finish time: 7:28:41
Overall place: 98
Gender Place: 43

GOATz 50k finisher medal ginger ale
Ginger ale was my friend this race.

Registration is already open for the GOATz Trail Runs occurring on October 21, 2018 — there are 5m, 10.5m, 21m, and 50k options for this particular race series.

The One Word Project: Sister #1

I individually asked my three sisters to send me one word that describes me best. Two immediately responded, the third responded a few days later. One questioned whether her hyphenated word fit the parameter of one word. Another texted me THREE words – which I made her choose one. JUST ONE. GAWD.

I love my sisters, and their responses typify their personalities and made me feel proud in a unique way on how they viewed me. Their selection provoked me to consider my relationship in context of their chosen word, too. I am trying to reflect on the word as seen through their lens. For this post, I’m starting with my Second-in-Command – the sister just below me in the “I was born first” hierarchy.

Her word is: Impossible. Just kidding, it was AMBITIOUS.

Sister 1 Text - Ambitious One word Project

I would be remiss in not posting her initial reply: Passionate… ??? Cultured… ambitious… [JUST ONE!]. She responds Impossible!!! It’s perfect. (She genuinely responds Ambitious in a later text; however, this was a fun experiment.)

She is the first in our family to get a graduate degree, and here she is calling me ambitious. The nerve.

When image searching “ambitious” this picture was in the results and I cannot stop laughing:


The first bite is always the hardest, kid.

The definition of ambitious is the belief in oneself that they will achieve what they desire and determination to satisfy high aspirations. Yeah, that is certainly me!

The thesaurus tells me that I am also aggressive, determined, earnest, energetic, enthusiastic, and resourceful. All of these I would argue define how my ambition bolsters my will to succeed. Sure, I get lazy and bore quickly, but this is where looking towards my next challenge reignites my goal focus. And yes, my sister was also spot-in in saying “impossible.” I have a tendency to be too self-focused, single-minded, and stubborn, and is the source of much of the reflection and personal development that I’ve been working on this year.

Related: I love this idea of writing an Ambition Letter related to high goals (despite only anecdotal evidence). The first rule of goal-setting is writing it down! {via Fast Company}

Extra reading: Why ambitious goals may help {via Headspace}

What is the One Word Project? I asked some people in my life to describe me/sum me up in one word to explore areas of strengths and for personal/professional development. I plan to make this part of a regular (and evolving) series and will continue to ask those around me to participate.

Post note: What I love right now about this exercise, is that when someone responds, I simply tell them “thank you.” And I haven’t yet had anyone ask me why. No one has asked me to give them a word in return. This is a really fun experiment!

Farm Report: 3.30.18

While we await the return of the starlings

’tis the season

Tyler (‪@TylerJRoney‬) forgot corn season. Pothole Season is so real right now though.

mooooove along, nothing to see here

Guess I only have a few days left for my husband to surprise me with a farm animal. YES I’M STILL OBSESSED WITH COWS.

midwest shenanigans

Are there any Easter traditions that are specific to Iowa? We have our cultural food customs (ham, pickled eggs, hrutka aka “egg cheese”) that aren’t really homeland specific, but I wonder if there are regional differences in how Iowans celebrate (or eat during) the holiday.

Share your traditions in the comments!