30 days of November

Caucus Season is Crazy

- Mel

Caucus craziness has descended upon Des Moines. It’s three months until The Caucus, and today is the Democratic celebration of Liberty & Justice (formerly, and no longer named after a slave owner and that other guy who was horrible about Native Americans), which brings in (almost) all the candidates and their associated entourage… and, apparently, celebrities.

Weezer is doing an outdoor (!) concert at noon, by way of a rally for Andrew Yang. YANGAPALOOZA.

I received an alert that Ben Harper will be joining PETE. Pete and PETE were walking down the street…

I have an event this evening – that is NOT the democratic dinner, sadly – and am disappointed at being unable to hang out downtown to see who else shows. However, this will be the first of many, I’m sure, opportunities for a “Pete Up” at one of my favorite local watering holes or Selfies with Warren.

And thus begins my Caucus Season is Crazy check-in and column.

Also, I’m going to attempt to blog every day in November per NaNoBloMo again this year. See you tomorrow. Yeah, no… this isn’t happening this month. 😆

Do something every day… until you don’t.

- Mel

I have engaged in several 30-day challenges – some more successful than others. Sure, there’s research that supports the impact that a certain amount of days you spend doing something helps it to become a habit. But there’s also research that supports that the “28-day rule” is crap and that depending on who you are that number could be 15 days or 51 days or maybe even 251 days. Point being, doing something every day to establish a habit is only good until you stop doing The Thing. And then if you’re like me, you completely fall off-the-rails and abandon The Thing altogether.

I had the intent of blogging every day in November because I truly missed regular blogging. I made it 14 days in a row before I completely forgot – with a futile attempt at logging into my phone from bed on Day 15 to get up SOMETHING, and wholly unable to log into WordPress via mobile app and unwilling to leave the comfort of flannel sheets to find my laptop. And here we are on Day 23 – almost 10 days without blogging again.

A similar story occurs with my goal of getting my running back more consistently. I was good for two weeks… and then didn’t run for an entire week. Blogging and running are things that I love to do, so why am I not making them the priority?

Can I blame everything on grad school?

In any event, this post is an effort for me to get on track with regular posting again. Man, do I hate Blog Apology Posts, so I won’t do that here (nor do I even have the audience to warrant such impossible perfection). NaBlowWriMo was not a success for me this year. Though an important lesson is one in which I previously mentioned: I am doing things because I love to do them, not because I have to justify to others my availability, my presence, my attendance, or my priorities. In the meantime, I will be exploring and reflecting a bit more on how I get habits to stick. Kinda like how I never forget to have my coffee every morning, amirite?

How do you build habits? What tricks work for you to maintain those new habits?

Random Memories from First Grade

- Mel

Can you remember things from as far back as grade school? I have a few very fuzzy memories of kindergarten but my brain really wanted to hold onto some random memories from first grade. Maybe it was because it was Catholic school and the nuns want to continue to punish me.

There’s this meme that gets passed around Facebook often in the vein of “you were a child of the 70s and 80s if you remember this.” And it’s a picture of Rainbow Parachute Day. EVERYBODY loved parachute day as a kid…

Unless you were me and it triggered the memory of being locked inside a racquetball room in the gym of your Catholic school before cell phones were invented.

Time is a funny thing. With the passing of many, many years the details get murkier about how long we spent in that locked room. It could have been two minutes, it could have been 20. It could have been 2 hours. What I do remember is someone (maybe the gym teacher?) attempting to MacGyver the door lock with a shoelace.

If you can believe it, there is something even MORE triggering about Catholic school and gym days. Brown shorts and yellow shirts. So fug. We had no access to the bathrooms and were required to change in the room in front of everyone – gender separated thank Jesus – with the boys (of course) peeking into the classroom window frequently enough that they were reprimanded against doing so. Which then made us very aware that this was A Thing.

You know what else was A Thing? Me getting sent to the principal’s (head nun’s?) office because I dared to wear unapproved colored socks with my hideously-colored plaid school uniform.

Then, as in now, you can’t get me to follow your silly fashion rules.

But a rule that I will continue to follow based on my first grade experience is to never look directly at the sun during a solar eclipse. The end.

Extra Reading:
This is where your childhood memories went {via Nautilus}

Will Run For Chocolate Milk

- Mel

It’s no secret in my circles that I love chocolate milk. Sunday morning, I ran a Chocolate Milk Chug Mile (very on brand for me) — AND I PR’D MY MILE RACE! I don’t share too much anymore about my running (and my associated running struggles), but wanted to share this celebrious event. Today was a great day for a run in Iowa!

View this post on Instagram

🥛🍫 WILL RUN FOR CHOCOLATE MILK (and hot chocolate) 🍫🥛 This morning I participated in the Hot Chocolate Race’s Chocolate Milk Chug Mile (because, duh 💁🏻‍♀️). Mile runs are HARD. But chocolate milk is awesome. I had to double-check my Athlinks account afterward to even check what my one mile PR was… AND I FREAKING PR’D IT TODAY. My previous one mile PR was from the Liberty Mile in Pittsburgh in 2015 (I ran 8:10). Today, I finished in 7:37. Holy crap! 😱😱😱 Totally unexpected start to the day. And then I went to Browns Woods for two loops with my fellow 🦃🦃🦃 #willrunforchocolatemilk #builtwithchocolatemilk #iprdtoday #runiowa #trailrunning #chugandrun #capitalstridersturkeys #100milechallenge #100stridersmiles

A post shared by Auntie Smell (@melliesmel) on

HOORAY, CHOCOLATE MILK!

Extra Reading:
How we fell out of love with milk {via The Guardian, also #fakenews, also BLASPHEMY}
This 94-year-old “Candy Man” of Iowa gives out Hershey chocolate bars every day 😭😭😭 {via Des Moines Register}

The Coffee Tour: Intro + Des Moines Metro List

- Mel

When I lived in both Cleveland and Pittsburgh, I was always within walking distance (or frequently walked by) coffee shops. Because I’m now living in the suburbs of Des Moines, there is considerably less walk-commuting – and, in fact, I do not even live within a reasonable biking distance (or via direct bike path) of a coffee shop.

Coffee shop header Des Moines blog

I have been more intentional at connecting with people for various meet-ups, which is why I started a coffee shop list on my phone of new places to visit. My goal is to work/unwind at a coffee shop at least once a month and to cross off at least one new place on my list every other month. This thesis ain’t gonna write itself! Coffee helps.

Here is where I have visited so far (with blog posts to come!):

Zanzibar – Ingersoll neighborhood
The Coffeesmith – Waukee
Gong Fu Tea – Downtown DSM
Smokey Row – Help me here, Des Moinesians (Moinians?): what is technically this neighborhood?
Watershed Cold Brew – Downtown Farmer’s Market, where an iced coffee with lemondade nearly put me in an existential crisis (IT WAS SO GOOD!)
Friedrich’s – 86th Street location in Urbandale
Freedom Blend Coffee – Des Moines (Kirkwood? Man, I have a lot of work to do on recognizing neighborhood boundaries.)
Grounds for Celebration – Beaverdale

Here’s what I have on my (ever-growing) list:
Horizon Line
DSM Brew Coffee Co.
Java Joe’s
Ritual Cafe
Rich’s Brew
Pammel Park Coffee Company (in Madison County; yes, I will travel for coffee!)

What other places should I add to my list?

Take me home, gravel roads.

- Mel

With all the love I share about Iowa, I’m going to start this post about the thing I hate about Iowa: Gravel roads. Close second: “B” roads. And if you don’t know what THAT is, then you’re not from Iowa and I strongly advise you to NOT take that scenic route.

level b service road iowa 2
Enter at your own risk, aka: Abandon all hope, ye who enter here. Also, that car is probably definitely stuck.

I hate driving on gravel roads.

I hate the dust that lingers after someone nearby has driven down a gravel road. Or the dust that’s flown in your direction when someone speeds past you.

I hate when my GPS thinks it’s a shortcut.

I hate that the speed limit on them is an ungodly 50+ mph.

Vinton Iowa trail race gravel

And I 100% HATE running on gravel roads.

And gravel shoulders. And gravel trails.

Fuck me, why would I sign up for a race that includes gravel roads on its course?

Iowa, that’s why.

Or because I didn’t look at the course map beforehand. Choose your own adventure.

Iowa gravel trail race

For what it’s worth, the view at the top was amazing in Vinton, Iowa. Word of advice: Look up race info should you ever get the motivation to run here. Swear at the dust and rocks a little. Wear a buff as a mask. And then look around you. Marvel at its quieted landscapes.

And then swear at yourself because you signed up for a race, dumbfounded, thinking that Iowa was flat. LOLZ, RIP YOUR QUADS. I’ve lived here three years and I still make up swear words at these hills.

Iowa trail race doggone tired ultra runner blog
Choose your races wisely. And also run in magical Christmas tree forests because those are THE BEST.

Weekly Therapy: Crazy Pants Time (a salute to the hectic holiday season and the need for a little extra warmth)

- Mel

the week:
I completed the Capital Striders 100 miles challenge with 101.7 miles!

weekend:
This morning, I ran another trail race — the Sycamore 8 in Des Moines. Tonight, we’ve got a neighborhood holiday party and another invite to a fellow Rock Boater’s house concert party on Sunday!

I’ll be sure to fit in my 2-hour post-race nap though.

seven things, seven days:
1. Pretty sore for a couple days after running Hitchcock preview last weekend. Next weekend will be interesting!
2. One of my favorite food items on Thanksgiving is a gluten-free cranberry bread that my boyfriend makes. He made me a second loaf to continue my food coma into another week. ?
3. Where my Winter Warriors at?
4. This made me laugh: 18 tips to give a horrible presentation
5. The psychological benefits of endurance running {via Huffington Post}
6. Playing in the NFL at 38 {via NYT}
7. How to feed a runner {via NYT}

30 Days, 30 Posts Challenge: COMPLETE!

- Mel

And here is December! Whew. I did it! I published 30 posts in 30 days. Even with a vacation and a road trip under my belt for November! Yes, I subsequently took a couple days soon after the 11/30 deadline.

What I hoped to achieve:
Find this blog’s direction and purpose. Find other bloggers (especially other therapists or counselors, or wannabes, in their 30s) in my niche. Find if the topics I wrote about — or were interested in — would resonate with 30-something Readers.

What I learned:
I was devoted. I was determined to finish. I even made some new online friends. When put to task and under stress and the all-too-ubiquitous “I’m busy,” I had something to prove — to you or to me?! Isn’t that kind of statement always some kind of unnecessary pressure to ourselves to complete goals?

Well, because of all that, I have a new passion: to share my personal experiences and lifestyle as a 30-something woman to evoke a reaction, a response — heck, a follow-ship! And thank you for reading along.

Going forward:
More guest posts like this. More pictures. Regularly-scheduled themed posts like this. And this. MORE 30-something awesomeness. Definitely more shoes.

Did you participate in either Nanowrimo or the 30 Days of Posts challenges? Leave your blog link in the comments!

Birthday Milestones & Growing Up

- Mel

It’s not my birthday, but someone close to me is celebrating her 30th — or “Dirty Thirty” as she termed it — and I was invited to the shindig… in Vegas.

The only city in the country I never want to step another foot into.

I’ve been twice — the first, in my late 20s, on a sisters vacation during Halloween. It was a blast and perfect for four siblings in various stages of relationships (me = single). The second, was my birthday celebration. Number 32 (me = newly coupled with the guy I remain with today).

That 32nd birthday there was spent practically by myself, after friends who frequently travel (there and otherwise) backed out of the adventure plans. I had a couple friends there to party with, but they stayed in another hotel, further down the Strip, and I constantly felt like a fifth wheel. They were from Denver; me, living in Ohio at the time; and they also left a day earlier than me, so I drank by the pool alone for my last day of vacation. The one girl who took all the pictures of that trip NEVER SENT ME PICS. Never tagged me on Facebook. Lame.

I seriously made the offering to acquiantances I partied with to “just fly here; the room is already paid for!” And yet, no takers. I was in aforementioned-happy relationship, but desperately wanted a “friends trip” (I’ve still never been invited on one, which depresses me); I even invited the boyfriend out with me at the last minute (he couldn’t go).

It was one of the loneliest vacations of my life (this, from a person who traveled to Europe by herself). And, sadly, I learned a lot about friendships surrounding that incident. That one trip essentially changed my life in a completely different way I imagined. I was in my 30s, and it was time to grow up. And I did.

So, when I hear of people going to Vegas for some big Life Event or Age Turning, I make that face.

Or something…

I have no desire to return to this City of Lights. It’s probably not Vegas’ fault, but I hate it there. I mean, truly loath. I associate it with so much negativity — and I refuse to have that sort of energy in my life. Let’s be frank here too, I’m definitely not into that sort of club scene anymore (not even close) and somebody reaching the Big 3-0 milestone seems SO. MUCH. YOUNGER. than where I am right now (yes, I said it out loud! feel free to smack me!).

So much different than what I am now.

Gah. Have you reached that point in your 30s where you feel so much *gulp* older? Do you have a city that you refuse to return to, for one reason or another?

Identity: who am I?

- Mel

A man/woman is many things, they say. Identity, or psychological identity, is a set of distinctive characteristics that one acquires through self-reflection and awareness. Identity can be lost or evolve with life experience, daily tasks or habits, and age. Just as we are these many things, makes us all unique in our total identity.

Who am I?
30-something
Girlfriend
Friend
Cat Owner LOVER!
Roller Derby Athlete
Teammate
Writer
Sometimes I’m witty, but most times I think I come across like an asshole.
Sister/Daughter/Granddaughter/Aunt
Volunteer
Frequent Vacationer
Adventurer
Wannabe Therapist
INFP
Failure. (yes, I see even this through the eyes of an optimist)
Procrastinator (this, however, is bad)
OCD
Brunette
German/Irish/Hungarian/Czech
Late-bloomer
Resilient

^^ also me (why so many pictures of me + yard drink?)

Who are you?