periods dotdotdot

Weekly Therapy: Play to win or play to have fun?

- Mel

the week:
It was a short week for me work-wise having both Monday and Friday off, but I certainly crammed a week’s worth of work into those three days. I feel like next Monday will be unbearably long…

weekend:
I won’t tire of bragging about my retreat — I am positively elated and looking forward to a weekend full of yoga and relaxation. And being on the lake. I might even play some air hockey at one of the arcades nearby.

52 books in 52 weeks:
#17 Moody Bitches: The Truth About the Drugs You’re Taking, The Sleep You’re Missing, The Sex You’re Not Having, and What’s Really Making You Crazy.

While my overall feel of this book was lukewarm and I wished it would have pursued more where my interests were (and a lot less where they weren’t), it prompted me to take action in regards to stopping my birth control last month (it took me a while to get through this book). I’ve been talking about it for a few years already and after reading about the long-term effects (that my doctor certainly has never talked to me about), it was time to give it up — and to enjoy what’s left of this glorious perimenopausal time of life.

seven things, seven days:
1. My allergies were out of control this week. POLLEN VORTEX.
2. I was seriously so pumped that I had the opportunity to see Neil DeGrasse-Tyson’s lecture earlier this month; naturally, I was extra-excited when a friend pointed this limited edition poster out to me. It’s GLOW IN THE DARK.
3. Nicky’s Thai for lunch on Tuesday, means Nicky’s Thai leftovers for lunch on Wednesday and Thursday.
4. Contractors who came out to do an estimate for cleaning the basement after the sewer backed up have STILL not given us the freakin’ estimate. So annoyed.
5. My “new” chair is finished! Urbane Reclamation customized this AMAZING vintage chair for us with new fabric and a new stain. I can’t wait to show you the finished project once it’s in my living room!
6. This post “Why Kids Quit Sports” include several reasons why I finally quit roller derby this year. Important viewpoints for adults here too, if you have kids who play sports {via Changing the Game Project}
7. I enjoyed this article immensely — especially as I’ve struggled with overcoming nagging injuries leftover from roller derby and finding a passion for CrossFit again. A Different Version of CrossFit: How I made my training sustainable and injury free {via Breaking Muscle}

March 30: a lesson in emotional eating

- Mel

No sweets. NO SWEETS FOR 30 DAYS. I knew this would be a difficult month, but really didn’t anticipate HOW HARD keeping desserts away from my pie hole would be. It was a long, cold month.

Within the first week of giving up sweets, I had a four-day headache.

Then I had a tooth pulled and continuously craved ice cream during the healing process.

St. Patrick’s Day and my anniversary happened… this was my first “cheat” day: an all-you-can-eat breakfast buffet, which, naturally, included a dessert table, a bananas foster table AND a make-your-own ice cream table. The ice cream felt so wonderful on my gums that I almost tossed the entire month-long challenge in the garbage right then-and-there.

I was determined to finish strong, however; intsead using my “free” day at the end of the month (originally planned for Easter) to make up for the one-day lapse.

Each day for the last week of the month, the breakroom at my part-time job was filled with cookies and doughnuts and candy.

Then I had a death in the family and was surrounded by sugary gifts from friends and neighbors. Sigh.

Basically, after giving up sweets for 16 days straight, on the 17th day I fell to my sugar cravings because of a flaw in the emotional eating segment of my psyche. I pressed restart for another few days, then succumbed again. I didn’t just stumble, I GONE TRIPPED AND BROKE MY WILLPOWER. All of it.

And then on the 31st day, at the sight of my first period in several months, I celebrated my failure with a crushed Samoas cookie vanilla sundae. Because that’s what 30-something females do: we eat away our PMS and feelings.

What you missed:
Read more about my 30-day challenges for 2013.
January: no alcohol!
February: it’s wake-up time!

I had an ultrasound. And now I’m depressed.

- Mel

At some point in a woman’s life, she will have an ultrasound. This is a common practice for pregnant women, but also to determine medical reasons why someone cannot conceive. But, as a non-child bearing (or desire to have them) lady, I never imagined that I’d be in that exam room… with a physician-assisted dildo up my birth canal.

Sure, I can make light of it now, given that there’s seemingly NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. But last week, when I (the doctor) was looking for answers. And I had NO idea what I was in for. Thankfully, a friend enlightened me to the words TRANSVAGINAL on my script. It means exactly what you think it means.

I had a series of tests: pelvic, hormonal blood work, pregnancy testing, and aforementioned ultrasound (two ways!) with no real answer. My “problem” is scanty or non-existing menstruation (My period has been irregular since fall 2011; only having one REAL period in August of this past year). Birth control could be to blame… inconclusive (until I decide if I want to “try” going off it to see if it is, in fact, a happy side effect.) I’ve been on some form of pill since I was 17 — this particular brand for almost 4 years — but then I started experiencing severe pain and pressure in my abdomen. Cramping with no bleeding. Really severe mood swings. I was scared… and after the appointment, depressed.

I can’t explain the depression, but was told from several people that it’s normal when anticipating test results. I’ve been in a certain funk and mood that still remains a week later. I’m talking it out with my significant other, which helps to have someone listen to me vent and ramble (oh, I’m sure he appreciates hearing ALL about the random ways my body hates me… not). But I’m still struggling to understand WHY or WHAT I’m feeling.

We don’t talk enough about the difficulties and emotions associated with infertility and menstruation disruption or possible early menopause that all sadly occur to many 30-somethings. WHY DON’T WE?! I’d really appreciate some of your thoughts and feelings in the comments, so we all can commiserate about our experiences and emotions in one place.