Weekly Therapy: No foolin’ here

March 31, 2017 - Mel

the week:
Short week for me, as I’m off to Texas! Soon as I fit all this stuff in one bag…

Ragnar Texas blogger

weekend:
I’m doing my first Ragnar race in Luckenbach, TX. And by the time of this posting, I’ll be shoved in a van with 5 strangers who like to run (some, Internet strangers – but still, people I’ve never met IRL) — and on my way to some adventure that I don’t fully understand. Oh, there will certainly be stories and recaps to come.

I AM EXCITED. (I’m yelling over the nerves.)

seven things, seven days:
1. Provoked by really fascinating webinar sponsored by a women’s networking group, I am reading The Upside of Stress.
2. YAY! My REI dividends arrived!
3. I found these lovely Confidence Prompt Cards.
4. On-Road to Off-Road: Road Running for Trail Runners (I run both!) {via I Run Far}
5. Good Luck, Morons: Lazarus Lake & His Impossible Race (the Barkley Marathon, if you’re unfamiliar) {via Bitter Southerner}
6. Watch some ladies kick ass at Western States (I cried within the first 5 minutes): Life in a Day
7. The secrets to dating a non-runner {via Outside}

Why I stopped saying I’m “busy.”

March 16, 2015 - Mel

Don’t let the title of this post fool you — I suffer from bouts of social anxiety and can flake on you in a heartbeat if I feel overwhelmed from over-socializing (no offense). But for purposes of this post, I’m talking about this modern-day epidemic of being “busy.”

My life the last three (or so) years was NUTS. I was busy. Oftentimes, busier than busy. I wore BUSY on my sleeve as a medal of honor. There were practices three-four nights a week and many weekends of games (and often, travel), and then I added a full-time school schedule to the mix, and THEN I went from part-time to full-time at my job. A day-in-the-life of another “busy” 30-something — and I didn’t even have kids!

And then I realized that stress culminated into burnout. And then apathy. My relationship was suffering. My friendships were practically non-existent. I wasn’t sleeping enough (or nearly anything close to the recommended daily). I didn’t read for a hobby anymore. I didn’t have energy for happy hours or networking functions — or even visiting my family because I worked most holidays voluntarily for the double-pay. Most days I couldn’t find the time to shower (seriously… no TIME to shower). Frankly, I was miserable. Busy, but lonely. Anxious, disappointed, moody, frustrated all the time. There just wasn’t enough time to do it all, even though I was doing it all! I internalized being busy into being a terrible friend, girlfriend, teammate, fill-in-the-blank.

Why would anyone actively create a life like this?

For the last few months, I have purposefully replaced the word “busy” with “balanced,” and I am wholly proud of the strides I have made to feel OK with not being one of those running chickens without a head. I want to be more present, more relaxed, more focused on doing things I love, surround myself with people who make me feel loved and as though I belong, and… well, feel happier about life in general. And naturally, less stressed out. Buh-bye road rage, hello walking to work and listening to a podcast that is enjoyable and relaxing. I’m going to stay at this corner until the crosswalk changes to the “walk” symbol. I am not in a rush for filling what’s left of my time, but content with that I’m spending my time the best way I can. NOT BUSY.

MORE READING:
Being busy is a sickness. (This author also agrees with me.)
What’s also interesting, perhaps a little ironic, is that when I first skimmed this article, I read a quote within it as: “Sounds like a dull day. Have fun!”

“You are powerful enough to decide what you will and won’t do with your time.” How to multiply your time {via PsychCentral}

“The current understanding of work-life balance is too simplistic. People find it hard to balance work with family, family with self, because it might not be a question of balance. Some other dynamic is in play, something to do with a very human attempt at happiness that does not quantify different parts of life and then set them against one another. We are collectively exhausted because of our inability to hold competing parts of ourselves together in a more integrated way.” from The Three Marriages: Reimagining Work, Self, and Relationship by David Whyte.

January Success: 30 days of no alcohol for this 30-something!

January 31, 2013 - Mel

I cannot wait to kick back and drink a beer with my teammates after practice Thursday — my 30 days without alcohol challenge is complete (yes, that 31st day is a “freebie”). And I earned it!

on tap — On tap since 12/28/12: still haven’t been able to drink it.

This month has been nothing short of stressful: tryouts for derby and adjusting to subsequent practice schedule, medical issues and weird doctor appointments, planning and executing a friend’s bridal shower… I can’t tell you how many times I wanted a drink. And, considering that we never drank our bottle of champagne on New Year’s Eve (we didn’t drink at ALL, so technically speaking, I’ve already accomplished 30 days off the sauce), I’ve had to look at that tasty bottle of Rose for THIRTY DAYS. Down the hatch for brunch on Sunday.

The challenge was to get my head in the right place for the beginning of my season. I also need to find alternative ways to deal with my stress. If I had drowned my feelings in vodka then I likely would have been hungover or generally feeling pretty crappy and unmotivated to do HALF of these things. But I’ve had a clear mind and my body feels pretty good. It wasn’t life changing, but it was definitely a test.

More about my 30-days-for-2013 resolutions challenge.
Up next: waking up before 8 am every day in February. Yeah, it’s not 30 days, but we do what we can with the short month (I’m drawing in the 31st from January to make it at least 29)! This is going to be harder than not drinking.

My first shower: planning awesomeness for a bride

January 21, 2013 - Mel

A good friend of mine is getting married in May — a destination wedding in Charlotte that I cannot attend. She asked me to be her Pittsburgh Bridesmaid, however, so that she could have a shower for local friends and family (and in the future, a bachelorette party).

I was tasked with planning my first shower (oh, the stress and time that went into it, which is why I had to step away from regular blogging for a minute), and I think it went really well. Thankfully, I had the help of her mom with location and catering, so that I could concentrate on all the “fun” stuff… and some of the not-so-fun stuff. Like stressing over whether I “forgot” something or whether my friend would like everything and if all the guests were having a good time. Phew.

I planned three games:
The purse hunt (this ended up being such a perfect ice breaker!), via Blue Moon Designs on etsy
Bride Bingo (I made the chalkboard bingo cards and keys — this was a huge task! And, of course, something I left for the last minute)
He Said – She Said, via Sassy Graphics (also on etsy)

And all the fun decorations to follow the wedding colors (gray & yellow), centering around chevron print, chalkboard and Ball jars.

Finding two of the games on etsy was a HUGE timesaver. I had other creative (and labor-intensive) ideas… but realized it was too late to create THREE games from scratch.

My mom made all the cloth napkins, which doubled as place settings for guests and favors (my mom’s etsy shop is Spun Designs — mostly knit, but I’m trying to talk her into making these special order for others). Each guest received a set: one yellow and one gray. The Ball jars were perfect for simple centerpieces (chevron-printed paper straws for all that Southern Sweet Tea!) and for the “wish” containers on the gift container.

I had so much fun “pinning” great ideas and using my creativity to make the theme even bigger. Thankfully, at just the right time of the planning stages, Pinterest allowed private boards.

Have you ever planned a bridal shower? Tell me about it in the comments! And share your links to these shower-hosting posts.