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Group Therapy
Cleaning House: Do you hang on to old stuff?
Our neighborhood yard sale was last weekend, and I really wish now that I would have got my shit together a little early (and cleaned out my closets and organized the basement). As we walked around, looking at the items that were selling, we groaned in unison: “We totally could have got rid of that!”
I also groaned and grumped later when I didn’t jump on the purchase of a $20 hammock, and it was sniped before I returned to purchase. I am not a good yard sale-r.
Old electronics. Clothes with tags still on. Home decor: lamps and frames and cabinets and tables. Random small appliances and kitchen ware. Boxes and boxes of cables and wires and chargers… formerly-awesome models of iPhones and iPods.
We have all these things and more!
After checking out sites like sellmymobile.com though, I think I can get a little more money for my old electronics that way (and a neighbor won’t have any weird, non-erased, possibly gossipy personal info). Not even joking though, I never imagined an old iphone could net me almost $200 at resale.
Every season I seem to go through another Purge though. I continue wanting to own LESS. I hate the idea of Storage. I wish that neighborhood-wide yard sales were a monthly thing because I’d be making at least a little something off all these old electronics, clothing with tages still on, home decor… you get where I’m going.
Summer’s Purge may have been a weekend too late for a successful yard sale, but I’m reaping the reward of removing all the clutter.
Group Therapy: I’m blogging for Mental Health #mhblogday
Mental health is the foundation of our thoughts, feelings, self-esteem and behaviors and how each (or all) affect our life. Having good mental health provides a feeling of general well-being, helping you make better decisions and coping with everyday stressors. Sometimes, you may need assistance from a professional to take care of mental health — especially if emotions or problems seem beyond your control. I have a family history of (mostly undiagnosed) mental illness and have been personally treated for my own anxiety issues (a cluster of social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD and panic disorder).
Being open about mental health can often lead to even more anxiety because of the stigma, rejection and lack of empathy or understanding for those of us living with mental health issues. Before you judge, educate yourself.
Some mental health facts:
– One in four Americans experiences a mental health disorder every year, according to the National Institutes of Mental Health.
– Chronic stress can affect both our physical and psychological well-being by causing a variety of problems including anxiety, insomnia, muscle pain, high blood pressure and a weakened immune system.
– Research published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior finds that 68 percent of Americans do not want someone with a mental illness marrying into their family and 58 percent do not want people with mental illness in their workplaces.
Congress designated May as Mental Health Month in 1949 to illustrate the importance of mental health issues to the overall health and well-being of American citizens. Each year, bloggers will join APA for a Mental Health Month Blog Day to educate the public about mental health, decrease stigma about mental illness, and discuss strategies for making lasting lifestyle and behavior changes that promote overall health and wellness.
Stop the stigma of mental health disorders — and don’t hesitate to get professional services if and when you need help.
My 30-something Singles: Create a Match.com Summer Singles Event and Win
Online Dating for 30-somethings is something else… am I right, or am I right? While I’m not in the dating pool, I’ve BEEN THERE. I’ve also heard the stories — oh, SO many stories — about online dating. True story though: I know two couples (who have openly admitted to it anyways) that met and live, now, happily ever after because of internet dating sites. So, it’s not all catfish.
But are you ready for something different? Stir is Match.com’s answer to online dating. 30-somethings (among others) can meet potential suitors by participating in a wide range of offline dating activities to Match.com — members around the country come together for unique events ranging from large-scale happy hours to more intimate affairs.
Match.com Stir is celebrating its one-year anniversary! In just one year, Match has hosted 2,850 events and collaborated with over 1,200 venues and partners, including House of Blues, Banana Republic, Sur la Table and Warrior Dash. They also play well with the local gems in each city (Pittsburgh too!). Over 225,000 singles have attended Stir Singles Events to date! That sounds like a lot of happy daters.
In celebration of the anniversary, Match.com is offering the opportunity for singles to create their own Stir event. If your event is chosen, you get to work with Stir event planners to bring that idea to life.
Visit Match.com’s “What Stirs You?” Contest Page now through Tuesday May 28th, 2013 — and tell Match.com what you think would make for the perfect singles event. That’s all you need to do to be entered to win. Entries will be judged based on quality, creativity, uniqueness and geographical relevance. The selected winner will have their idea recreated by the Events by Match.com team in their city and will receive an invitation to attend the event along with ten of their singles friends (no charge!). Bonus: the winner will also receive a free six-month Match.com subscription.
So, tell me 30-somethings: What Stirs you?
Disclaimer: I received compensation for publishing this post about Match.com and Stir events. All opinions are my own.
Group therapy: put down the electronics!
Months ahead of my social media hiatus (coming soon: this September!), I’m recognizing a trend in “advice” columns and articles and what-not, all about putting down your electronics. Stow your cell, and enjoy the life and people in your presence. Be. Present.
Aren’t we all a little bit guilty of this? That, Always Being in Touch. I find it difficult, given the appeal of online personalities (most of which are friends in real life too). Because social media has some great benefits — say, like finding friends in a new city or something fun to do at the last minute — there’s not anything drastic we’re going to suggest here. But we should be conscious and conscientious of being around our friends and significant others — of being in the moment. Of getting to bed at a reasonable hour (and potentially curbing insomnia caused by the glow of screens). Or not being consumed by an electronic device. I mean, didn’t you sit around long enough looking at a computer at work all day?! I love my Kindle, too, but make sure that I alternate with reading actual books too. Social media addiction is serious business.
Your twitter timeline will still be there when your happy hour with friends is over. Facebook status update eye-rolling once the workday is done. I’d go so far to say even TURN OFF THE TV since it’s obviously replacing quality time and conversation with your significant other. Hello, hulu! Most of all, don’t take your phones to the dinner table. This is a new rule that I’m putting in place in my house. I mean, it’s hard enough that I work from home full time AND my boyfriend continues to work once he’s home. We could at least enjoy dinner in silence, right? Ha.
Have you made your own “rules” for electronics and cell phones in your house? Have you found ways to lessen your addiction to social media?
Group Therapy: A Taste of Therapy
Identity. I talked about that in Monday’s post. Cook or chef or baker (even though I like to bake!) — none of these are in my list of personal identifiers. I manage OK when I’m on my own. I mean, I didn’t STARVE TO DEATH when I was single and lonely in my one-bedroom condo. But I’m happily benefiting from a boyfriend who LOVES to cook — it’s his creative release from a long day at work. Cooking for me? ADDS stress.
Ironic… it’s totally A.D.D. stress too.
Completely changing topics (but we’ll pull this all together, I promise)… you know how sometimes you feel as though you were just MEANT to meet somebody — be it a friend, networking contact or romantic partner? This is how I feel about the person that I’m introducing in my guest post below. We met online, as many in this digital age are ought to do; and I just knew we had to work together. She’s breaking the traditional mold of old-school therapy by applying the guiding practices in a creative way. Who she is, is the exact type of therapist that I intend to be: an adventurer.
Although… maybe without all that cooking.
Who am I?
Hi! My name is Allison Carver, I’m in my 30s and I am Licensed Professional Counselor from Richmond, Virginia. I own a business called A Taste of Therapy that takes a creative and unique spin on plain, old, boring therapy. I use cooking therapy! This is my true passion in life and I love it! I combine cooking classes with therapy to help others grow! When I opened in 2010 there was an unfilled demand for a creative and new alternative to traditional outpatient therapy in Richmond. Therefore I created a new type of therapy! I am professionally trained in both mental health therapy and culinary arts.
What is Cooking Therapy?
I believe that the process of cooking is therapeutic. Just as an Art Therapist uses the process of painting as therapy, I use cooking as a way to manage life’s stresses.
How did I come up with this idea?
I’ve always loved to cook and used it as my own personal outlet for years! Time and time again, I would find myself taking my own problems to the kitchen and working it out through cooking. One day it occurred to me that others would benefit from this. I began to incorporate these cooking techniques into my therapy practice! I soon discovered that cooking helped my clients more than I ever expected. Right then and there I knew this was a good idea.
Why it works?
Cooking is a relaxing process that you helps you unwind when you are feeling troubled. I find that when client’s keep their hands busy cooking, they are more likely to open up and discover what’s really troubling them. When you begin to use cooking as therapy you will relax, have fun, and learn how to manage life’s challenges through cooking! My classes teach specific skills about how to deal with stress, anxiety, depression, and anger. My classes will teach you how chopping, slicing, and kneading dough will help you feel better.
How do my workshops work?
When you sign up for a workshop you will get three separate sessions (an appetizer, entrée, and dessert session) of therapy and cooking. Each week you will discuss the appropriate therapy topics and then cook food. Workshops topics include: anger management, parenting issues, poor communication, anxiety, grief and loss, depression, poor self esteem, and relationship issues. They are designed for groups or individuals. I travel to your kitchen, making it really convenient!
Help! I don’t live in Richmond, but I want some cooking therapy!
I’ve just launched a new product that will help you out! It’s called: ATOT Takeout. It’s a personalized cooking therapy recipe designed just for you! It offers a solution for any minor life challenge. Just email me (info@atasteoftherapy.com) let me know that you would like to participate in ATOT Takeout. I’ll email you a form asking you what you are dealing with. Email it back to me with your $25 payment and within 24 hours I will email you back a personalized recipe and therapeutic tips to help you deal! IT will provided step by step instructions on how to use cooking to help you cope with your issue. *Bonus! If you mention you saw this on 30-something Therapy, I’ll give you $5 off!
Looking for more information?
Be sure to check me out on the web! I have a complete YouTube Channel that offers videos, recipes, and cooking therapy tips! Like me on Facebook, and follow along with Twitter! I’m excited to get to know you more!
Stay tuned for a special Taste of Therapy recipe that might be JUST what you need to wind down from the Thanksgiving holiday.
Group Therapy: Can 30-somethings wear SEQUINS?
Alternatively titled: Must. Not. Buy. Another Pair of Sequin Shoes!
An anonymous Reader asked: Can a 30-something pull off wearing sequins?
Answer: A resounding YES!
1. Aqua Spineless Sequin Jacket {ASOS} / 2. Embellished top {White House Black Market} / 3. Foldover Sequin Clutch {ASOS} / 4. Worn This Way sequin bootie {ModCloth} / 5. MICHAEL Michael Kors Tuxedo Sequin Tuxedo Pants {Nordstrom}
Sequins are like Happiness Therapy — an outfit pick-me-up and a MUST for those who don’t really experiment with bold colors.
Just this year (ahem, year 35), I invested in a sequin party dress from ASOS (it’s backless and super chic!), sequin leggings from h&m (via Poshmark) and an embellished cardigan from White House Black Market.
Unless it’s New Year’s Eve or a fab bash (in which case, ALL OF THE SEQUINS!), subtlety is key. And the trick to not looking like a holiday character is to NOT wear sequins from head-to-toe. A little accent here and a hint of shimmer there equals: classic-with-personality.
Remember, sequins are not glitter. No woman over the age of 30 should be wearing glitter on her person. Unless it’s Halloween, and in that case, let me remind you that you should definitely NOT be wearing “Sexy {insert character here},” Miss 30-something. Trust me. You’re not too old for fun, but you’re certainly too wise (and classy!) to be mostly naked in October.
30-Something with a Sequin Fetish? Let’s talk about it via twitter & facebook!