Weekly Therapy: buh-bye skin cancer

May 17, 2013 - Mel

the week:
Had my MOHs surgery this week, so this post will be short-and-sweet. I have to wait 7-10 days to do any kind of physical activity, so I’m also on derby break. I’ll know more next Thursday when I get my bandages removed (for further healing time). I have no idea how long my stitches will be in my face, which is weird — especially if they’re going to be exposed.

weekend:
Neighborhood yard sale (also, first time in public since the surgery). Power game on Saturday, and then the Pirates game with my dad on Sunday. But lots of rest and learning how to cover up a black eye with makeup.

52 books in 52 weeks:
I got 17% through a new book about Ted Bundy, but it was boring, so I cut my losses and started reading something else.

seven things, seven days:
1. I won a $100 restaurant gift card from Dawg’s Dish. SO AWESOME! And we have a new restaurant to try when we return to Cleveland.
2. Yoga. Needed.
3. Purchased a CC cream (finally) and was disappointed to learn it didn’t contain sunscreen. Plus, the product itself sucks. Meh.
4. We booked a trip to Costa Rica!
5. Now I need to renew my passport though… holy expensive — especially for expedited processing!
6. Homemade strawberry milkshakes: for those days when you cannot drink alcohol. Sober Therapy.
7. Does trying to be happy make us unhappy?

Group Therapy: I’m blogging for Mental Health #mhblogday

May 15, 2013 - Mel

Mental health is the foundation of our thoughts, feelings, self-esteem and behaviors and how each (or all) affect our life. Having good mental health provides a feeling of general well-being, helping you make better decisions and coping with everyday stressors. Sometimes, you may need assistance from a professional to take care of mental health — especially if emotions or problems seem beyond your control. I have a family history of (mostly undiagnosed) mental illness and have been personally treated for my own anxiety issues (a cluster of social anxiety, agoraphobia, OCD and panic disorder).

Being open about mental health can often lead to even more anxiety because of the stigma, rejection and lack of empathy or understanding for those of us living with mental health issues. Before you judge, educate yourself.

Some mental health facts:
– One in four Americans experiences a mental health disorder every year, according to the National Institutes of Mental Health.
– Chronic stress can affect both our physical and psychological well-being by causing a variety of problems including anxiety, insomnia, muscle pain, high blood pressure and a weakened immune system.
– Research published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior finds that 68 percent of Americans do not want someone with a mental illness marrying into their family and 58 percent do not want people with mental illness in their workplaces.

Congress designated May as Mental Health Month in 1949 to illustrate the importance of mental health issues to the overall health and well-being of American citizens. Each year, bloggers will join APA for a Mental Health Month Blog Day to educate the public about mental health, decrease stigma about mental illness, and discuss strategies for making lasting lifestyle and behavior changes that promote overall health and wellness.

Stop the stigma of mental health disorders — and don’t hesitate to get professional services if and when you need help.

My 30-something Singles: Create a Match.com Summer Singles Event and Win

May 14, 2013 - Mel

Online Dating for 30-somethings is something else… am I right, or am I right? While I’m not in the dating pool, I’ve BEEN THERE. I’ve also heard the stories — oh, SO many stories — about online dating. True story though: I know two couples (who have openly admitted to it anyways) that met and live, now, happily ever after because of internet dating sites. So, it’s not all catfish.

But are you ready for something different? Stir is Match.com’s answer to online dating. 30-somethings (among others) can meet potential suitors by participating in a wide range of offline dating activities to Match.com — members around the country come together for unique events ranging from large-scale happy hours to more intimate affairs.

Match.com Stir is celebrating its one-year anniversary! In just one year, Match has hosted 2,850 events and collaborated with over 1,200 venues and partners, including House of Blues, Banana Republic, Sur la Table and Warrior Dash. They also play well with the local gems in each city (Pittsburgh too!). Over 225,000 singles have attended Stir Singles Events to date! That sounds like a lot of happy daters.

In celebration of the anniversary, Match.com is offering the opportunity for singles to create their own Stir event. If your event is chosen, you get to work with Stir event planners to bring that idea to life.

Visit Match.com’s “What Stirs You?” Contest Page now through Tuesday May 28th, 2013 — and tell Match.com what you think would make for the perfect singles event. That’s all you need to do to be entered to win. Entries will be judged based on quality, creativity, uniqueness and geographical relevance. The selected winner will have their idea recreated by the Events by Match.com team in their city and will receive an invitation to attend the event along with ten of their singles friends (no charge!). Bonus: the winner will also receive a free six-month Match.com subscription.

So, tell me 30-somethings: What Stirs you?

Disclaimer: I received compensation for publishing this post about Match.com and Stir events. All opinions are my own.

Weekly Therapy: another year “wiser”

May 10, 2013 - Mel

the week:
Yeah, yeah, yeah… birthday week. It’s been one of the hardest of my last few years — and has nothing to do with aging. Well, I’m sure that I’m thinking too much about it because of my age, but it’s nothing to do with NOW I’M 36. I’m equal parts just speechless about a lot of things right now and really stressed. Relationship maintenance is hard, you guys. I don’t even know where to start or finish after saying that.

But thinking about this Cooking for Two: Reconnecting with Your Loved One from A Taste of Therapy.

weekend:
Bout Day! actually, I have TWO bouts this weekend (one of which, a hangover bout… woof) and hopefully a little bit of birthday celebration.

52 books in 52 weeks:
#12: “Outliers” by Malcolm Gladwell – wasn’t quite as engaging as “Blink,” but I did enjoy the personal stories of success.
True story: I was NOT posting this weekly update until I finished this damn book.

seven things, seven days:
1. Started off the week with a Cinco de Mayo stoop
2. …and a big argument. *sigh*
3. Continuing tradition with a free birthday dinner at Eleven (third year). They always have the best birthday desserts too.
4. Started my 10-day NO IBUPROFEN challenge. It’s not really a challenge so much as it is REQUIRED… but, because we took this month off from 30-day challenges, why not?!
5. Rules for Life from the lovely Bloggess. Don’t stop reading at the end of the article… the comments are just as important.
6. Want this book! It’s so pretty to look at.
7. 13 reasons why growing up is mind boggling {#12 is so hard to admit sometimes}

Every 30-something needs… a reminder on her birthday.

May 9, 2013 - Mel

Of how far you’ve come.

Of where you’re going.

Of all the bullshit you’ve endured already in this life. Nay, this year.

That this, too, will somehow pass. No matter the shattering of hearts and testing of resilience.

That friends are really important.

That family is even more so.

That age is just a number. Like a street address or a phone number on caller ID reminding you of your past.

Of where you were this time last year.

Of how you didn’t know what a difference a year would make.

Of where you are now. Now might not be so good… but it will be better. It’s always better.

And that next year you’ll be another year older and there will be more imbalances with your hormones, so just. stop. stressing.

30-something Anthem

May 8, 2013 - Mel

Thanks, Jay Z.

Weekly Therapy: cookies for my troubles

May 3, 2013 - Mel

the week:
Woah, boy. We learned way too much about zoning, permits and the pains of living in a historical neighborhood. Found out the hard way upon applying for a permit because we wanted to have the deck resurfaced next week — a deck that is a) not to city code and b) never approved in the first place and c) also butts up to a property line of an abandoned house (the one we’ve been trying to find an heir to purchase). What. A. Mess. But also, basically, since we have this lovely courtyard that is technically the side of our house and not the “back” we need historical review for everything.

The deck project will happen, even if it means just tearing the damn thing down. It’s just going to be delayed a few weeks.

weekend:
Headed on a short road trip to Bloomington, Indiana for a derby tournament. Our last travel game until post season. Definitely not the last of travel though for summer.

This Sunday is the Pittsburgh Marathon. Fun day to go into town and give some support to these runners. Take the T or ride your bike because driving a car in/near downtown, east end or north side will be basically a lesson in detours.

seven things, seven days:
1. My review for Benjamin’s (a burger joint in Pittsburgh) made Yelp review of the day this week!
2. Wake up to an iPhone? You should change your alarm to a theme song from your playlist. Mornings are so much more fun now!
3. I celebrated one year at my part-time job. Time flies. Like the birds. *chuckle*
4. Signed up to do the Tough Mudder in August. I’m equal parts terrified and excited. And so ready to challenge myself.
5. Speaking of which, I finally went back to our team trainer this week. And the soreness feels GOOD.
6. Check out this Kickstarter campaign for Cherry Bombe Magazine: a beautiful publication celebrating women and food. I like!
7. Counting down the days until my birthday next week. How I feel about that. TLDR: Not great.

Every 30-something needs… a skin cancer screening.

May 1, 2013April 19, 2018 - Mel

Listen to me. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.

I am a 30-something, fair-skinned, mole- and freckle-covered, former tan-addict, once-a-year accidental sunburner, beach and sun-loving woman… who just discovered she has skin cancer.

The biopsy done on my face last month: basal cell carcinoma.

Thankfully, it’s the most common and treatable type of skin cancer. I will be having MOHs surgery later this month to remove everything, with hopefully minimal scarring or disfiguring or concern for the cancer spreading. The sobering news has been a HUGE wake-up call to me. Naturally, I’ve been feeling a lot of emotions over finding out — most of which, stupidity that I could have done more when I was younger to help prevent this. Last year, I had a semi-scare, with my doctor removing two flat little freckles (not cancerous, but concerning enough to be biopsied). One of which was underneath my butt cheek. For real. My face, for whatever reason, feels REALLY personal. I have to see it every day. Underneath my rear end, it’s easy to forget the warnings.

Serious time. Listen to the advice of the experts: USE SUNSCREEN. Don’t just rely on makeup SPF. STOP TANNING. No really, not even the one before your wedding or vacation or whatever dumb excuse of an event to be tan. Get your annual screening.

May is Skin Cancer Awareness month, and I need to emphasize how important it is to regularly see a dermatologist and raise your awareness of skin cancer warning signs. Rite Aid and the Skin Cancer Foundation are hosting the Road to Healthy Skin Tour (in its sixth year!), which be making its way across the country throughout the summer. Full-body skin exams are conducted on a first come, first served basis available to the public. Check the Tour Schedule for locations in your area.

Check out skincancer.org for everything you need to know about the signs of skin cancer, early detection and prevention, treatments and references for dermatologists in your community.

While you’re at it, take this Skin Quiz to inform you of your risk.

No. No more birthdays. Please.

April 30, 2013 - Mel

It’s less than two weeks away from my 36th birthday, and I’m having another identity crisis. It’s like a one-part identity crisis and one-part hormonal meltdown really.

I don’t swear (here) too often, but… HOW THE FUCK AM I TURNING 36?!

Working my way from 35 to 36 hasn’t been too tragic. You know, “Meh. Another birthday.” once I finally got over the last one. I mean, you want a tragedy, you should have been around me when I was approaching 35. Woof. But the closer my next birthday gets, the more I am absolutely. freaking. out. Again. Me, the person who used to LOVE birthdays so much that she celebrated for an entire month.

I’m questioning everything in my life: past choices that I can’t even change if I wanted to (a to-do list of life redos, if you will), relationship ghosts and friends who suck (from a wtf happened kind of perspective), why I can’t find work (am I unmotivated, unexperienced or uneducated?)… sexuality stuff (typical day-in-the-life of a 30-something female with raging hormones). Why I spent so much on my credit card last year to make myself feel better about turning 35? Ugh. I’m both reminiscing too much and hoping for too much. EXPECTING too much. Paying too much in interest. Repeat: questioning everything. Which is destroying my psyche and my mojo. I feel off balance and that All of the Things are amiss.

I am pissed at the world because of it. Because of getting another year older. Or because I feel like my life is unraveling right now because of being older. Fuck. I don’t like being angry. But I’m angry.

To say I need therapy is an understatement.

April showers bring May credit card bills: rainy day retail therapy

April 28, 2013 - Mel

Have you done an audit on your closet yet this season? Spring is a good time to take account of what’s in your closet and what shouldn’t be. Still have items with tags, with the promise “I’ll wear you soon!” GET RID OF IT. I recommend the Poshmark app. For the rest of your wardrobe, ask individual pieces these questions: have you worn it since last year? Does it fit? Does it need tailored or repaired? Also, don’t forget storage: time to store your heavy winter sweaters for next season and redd-up the sandals collection.

I have at least five skirts that need to go to the tailor before I enjoy this spring (um, that I purchased LAST spring… I need to heed my own advice).

Regardless, after taking an audit of what I needed, I added these few items to my closet:

1. A raincoat. I have no idea how I’ve made it this far in life without a rain coat. This Columbia jacket was picked up at REI and stood the test of a couple-miles walk to the train stop AND an afternoon of tailgating in drizzle. Not to mention, it’s fitted super cute. 30-something APPROVED!

2. These slip-on sneaks from Skechers. Ugh, the first time I wore them (in the rain), gave me blisters on BOTH heels AND the inside of my toe box after walking just a few blocks between bars (yeah, I took a “personal day” during Beer Week to bar hop-day drink). They were so comfortable in the store, which is unfortunate. I’ll try again because I’m a sucker, but… Dammit.

“Comfy” = wearing bandaids on my heels for an entire week.

3. I love easy-breezy spring dresses and also love polka dots. How can you resist this dress from LOFT? Super. Cute. I love the fit and material — a really easy get-up-and-go outfit for this upcoming spring weather (it’s on the way, right?)

Add any fun spring pieces into your wardrobe? Have you completed a seasonal sweep of your closets?