My blogger friend Terra of Stylish White Female started a great idea: to show off the bare naked faces of women to show that we ALL are beautiful. (follow along on twitter too: #barenaked)
She requested her female readers reveal their bare-skinned faces — no makeup, no fancy filters, no hiding behind hair — and I submitted my picture. Along with a horrible list of all the things wrong with my bare face. What’s weird is that I’m not self conscious about my body at all — but my face? Zero confidence. I see enlarged pores and saggy, sullen skin and under eye circles and red eye lids and sun damage (and sadly, now skin cancer scars)… and age. Even when I showed off my skin cancer scars and surgery pictures, I was hiding behind a mess of bruising and bandages.
Even hiding behind a pair of eye pads.
The truth is: I DO NOT LIKE myself — my face — without makeup. Even less so as I get older.
Terra started an amazing project that hopefully prompts more women like me to love the skin we’re in. I’m trying… and her thoughtful response back to my list of negative comments honestly made me cry. I don’t know why I hate on my face so much — or why I’m struggling emotionally so much with aging — but her praise and encouragement made me reconsider how I see myself.
I’ve got some work to do, but I’m forever grateful for her doing such a project.
Going to Costa Rica was a bucket list-of-a-trip. The country that I always dreamed about visiting. The beautiful sights, sounds and scenery… a volcano — a tourist destination that was, surprisingly, not all that expensive to travel to (this time of year is considered the “offseason,” but the temps are freaking BEAUTIFUL this time of year; low 80s during the day and 60s at night). Seven days felt like a vacation too, even considering the travel time.
The clouds clear from Arenal — as seen from our hotel property:
The vacation was spurred by a conversation with a good friend — an opportunity to meet said online friend IN REAL LIFE for the first time at that. This, after knowing and talking to him almost daily for the last 13 years. Crazy story, I know, but I’ll touch on that another time. There were six of us altogether: my boyfriend and I, my online friend and his girlfriend, and another couple from Denmark that currently live in the states. Our varied personalities and interests made for a well-rounded vacation, and we all got along perfectly. In fact, I wish I could always travel with the same group!
Travel friends for life!
OVERALL: As I mentioned, going to Costa Rica is a bucket list-worthy trip in itself (in fact, I crossed one item off my 30s Life List!). I wasn’t anticipating the perfect balance of beauty, adventure, fun and relaxation (although I really wish I would have booked an outdoor massage at the hotel). I enjoyed staying remote up in the mountains, but you might enjoy the beach — Costa Rica has both!
We’re all in here too:
The vacation was made through a Bookit.com deal and included both hotel and airfare.
LODGING: the Green Lagoon Lodge was incredible — the staff really went above-and-beyond our expectations. We ended up being the only couples in the place until the last night of our stay. The lodge itself is small and cozy (only 11 rooms, I believe), so it can book fast. There are no TVs in the rooms (a big YAY from us; I really hope they don’t ever add them because there isn’t really good noise insulation in the rooms); all of the rooms do have an air conditioning unit in the wall (I’m a light sleeper, and every time it turned on, I woke up… it might not bother you, but if those things do, bring ear plugs). Strangely, our room had a double bed and a single bed, but both were REALLY comfortable. The room is cozy and clean, and includes a refrigerator, small sitting area and shower bathrooms (bring slippers for the tiled floors that exist throughout the space).
The property includes a small restaurant area, outdoor cabana/bar area (which wasn’t open until our last day) that includes two outdoor pools (one large/one child size) and a covered hot spring tub area (we drank and played games outside every night). Because of the off-season, there was some construction occurring, but it wasn’t disruptive. We were honestly impressed by how much work was completed in one week.
In the clouds…
FOOD: arroz con pollo, no bueno. But ALL OF THE PINA. Breakfast was included with our stay — there wasn’t a menu; the cook just decided what to make us every morning. Breakfasts typically included eggs, fruit, yogurt — but sometimes we had cheese or fried plantains or more rice. After five days of rice-and-beans-and-plantains-with-everything, I wanted something different. There are a few “American” restaurants (not chains) in La Fortuna for this purpose. The last night of our visit, our hotel hosted a travel group from France, but invited us to join them for a welcoming party (we enjoyed a really good meal and drinks and dancing). Also: THE COFFEE.
My rotating snack menu: from left-to–right: Zucaritas! / Imperial beer of Costa Rica / Lime & Salt Platanos
ADVENTURE: white water rafting, volcano hikes, ziplining, canopy tours, cloud forests and rainforest exploration, waterfall diving, hot springs… yeah, Costa Rica has all of that. If adventure is what you seek, then I highly recommend staying around Arenal. A few other activities that we did: LOTS of hiking, visiting an animal sanctuary, Salto and sneaking into the “secret” hot springs location.
Then there’s this (NEVER MIND THE LANGUAGE):
Yeah, I was a little terrified.
THERAPY: disconnecting from all the stressors at home was what I was looking for — and some peace and relaxation to grieve a bit. This vacation was a good time to get away from everything… well, everything except the boyfriend. Ha! But there were also opportunities to challenge myself… and then, there was my battle with the resulting poison ivy rash.
But it was the perfect place to have a sandwich. Sandwich Therapy, duh.
Have you traveled to Costa Rica? Tell me your favorite adventure in the comments!
It’s less than two weeks away from my 36th birthday, and I’m having another identity crisis. It’s like a one-part identity crisis and one-part hormonal meltdown really.
I don’t swear (here) too often, but… HOW THE FUCK AM I TURNING 36?!
Working my way from 35 to 36 hasn’t been too tragic. You know, “Meh. Another birthday.” once I finally got over the last one. I mean, you want a tragedy, you should have been around me when I was approaching 35. Woof. But the closer my next birthday gets, the more I am absolutely. freaking. out. Again. Me, the person who used to LOVE birthdays so much that she celebrated for an entire month.
I’m questioning everything in my life: past choices that I can’t even change if I wanted to (a to-do list of life redos, if you will), relationship ghosts and friends who suck (from a wtf happened kind of perspective), why I can’t find work (am I unmotivated, unexperienced or uneducated?)… sexuality stuff (typical day-in-the-life of a 30-something female with raging hormones). Why I spent so much on my credit card last year to make myself feel better about turning 35? Ugh. I’m both reminiscing too much and hoping for too much. EXPECTING too much. Paying too much in interest. Repeat: questioning everything. Which is destroying my psyche and my mojo. I feel off balance and that All of the Things are amiss.
I am pissed at the world because of it. Because of getting another year older. Or because I feel like my life is unraveling right now because of being older. Fuck. I don’t like being angry. But I’m angry.
the week:
This week, I started my April 30 Challenge to “do something new every day.” The opportunity is there to do some amazing things… but a few things will be kind of ridiculous. And by ridiculous, I mean, I NEED IDEAS! Won’t you leave some in the comments?
Also this week was my annual skin cancer screening. I had to have a biopsy ON MY FACE. Thankfully, it was tiny, so I didn’t need stitches. BUT STILL: ON MY FACE. For the record, it wasn’t a mole either, which makes it all the more scary. Ladies, if you haven’t stopped with the tanning beds and vacations full of sun exposure, I feel it’s my purpose to tell you STOP. NOW.
Don’t look at my blackheads! Also, don’t look at my balding eyebrows.
And don’t forget the sunscreen.
weekend:
I’m taking yet another road trip to Ohio this weekend. We have a game on Saturday, so I’m making a mini-vacay out of it: dinner (and carb load) with an old friend on Friday; hockey game on Sunday. Plus, we’re seemingly out of the season of 800 layers (woo).
If you’re looking for something to do in Pittsburgh, check out this Awesome Events post from I Heart PGH.
seven things, seven days:
1. One of my reviews made it into the Weekly Yelp!
2. Speaking of Yelp, we went to a performance at the new Arcade Comedy Theater on Monday courtesy of the social network. So much funny.
3. BASEBALL!!! (you’re going to get a lot of that from me this time of year)
4. Second year in a row that I won some cash from the scratch-off lottery ticket in my Easter Basket. BINGO!
5. I don’t know how I got subscribed to The Red Bulletin magazine (from Red Bull), but it’s my absolute favorite right now for its stories of travel and wonderful articles on adventure-seekers.
6. I applied for a job at google… kinda blew my mind hitting “send” on my resume. Why not, right?
7. Can you believe that more than HALF of Americans shop in order to feel better? {StyleCaster article} Ahem. I am one of you.
At some point in a woman’s life, she will have an ultrasound. This is a common practice for pregnant women, but also to determine medical reasons why someone cannot conceive. But, as a non-child bearing (or desire to have them) lady, I never imagined that I’d be in that exam room… with a physician-assisted dildo up my birth canal.
Sure, I can make light of it now, given that there’s seemingly NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. But last week, when I (the doctor) was looking for answers. And I had NO idea what I was in for. Thankfully, a friend enlightened me to the words TRANSVAGINAL on my script. It means exactly what you think it means.
I had a series of tests: pelvic, hormonal blood work, pregnancy testing, and aforementioned ultrasound (two ways!) with no real answer. My “problem” is scanty or non-existing menstruation (My period has been irregular since fall 2011; only having one REAL period in August of this past year). Birth control could be to blame… inconclusive (until I decide if I want to “try” going off it to see if it is, in fact, a happy side effect.) I’ve been on some form of pill since I was 17 — this particular brand for almost 4 years — but then I started experiencing severe pain and pressure in my abdomen. Cramping with no bleeding. Really severe mood swings. I was scared… and after the appointment, depressed.
I can’t explain the depression, but was told from several people that it’s normal when anticipating test results. I’ve been in a certain funk and mood that still remains a week later. I’m talking it out with my significant other, which helps to have someone listen to me vent and ramble (oh, I’m sure he appreciates hearing ALL about the random ways my body hates me… not). But I’m still struggling to understand WHY or WHAT I’m feeling.
We don’t talk enough about the difficulties and emotions associated with infertility and menstruation disruption or possible early menopause that all sadly occur to many 30-somethings. WHY DON’T WE?! I’d really appreciate some of your thoughts and feelings in the comments, so we all can commiserate about our experiences and emotions in one place.
And here is December! Whew. I did it! I published 30 posts in 30 days. Even with a vacation and a road trip under my belt for November! Yes, I subsequently took a couple days soon after the 11/30 deadline.
What I hoped to achieve:
Find this blog’s direction and purpose. Find other bloggers (especially other therapists or counselors, or wannabes, in their 30s) in my niche. Find if the topics I wrote about — or were interested in — would resonate with 30-something Readers.
What I learned:
I was devoted. I was determined to finish. I even made some new online friends. When put to task and under stress and the all-too-ubiquitous “I’m busy,” I had something to prove — to you or to me?! Isn’t that kind of statement always some kind of unnecessary pressure to ourselves to complete goals?
Well, because of all that, I have a new passion: to share my personal experiences and lifestyle as a 30-something woman to evoke a reaction, a response — heck, a follow-ship! And thank you for reading along.
Going forward:
More guest posts like this. More pictures. Regularly-scheduled themed posts like this. And this. MORE 30-something awesomeness. Definitely more shoes.
Did you participate in either Nanowrimo or the 30 Days of Posts challenges? Leave your blog link in the comments!
It’s not my birthday, but someone close to me is celebrating her 30th — or “Dirty Thirty” as she termed it — and I was invited to the shindig… in Vegas.
The only city in the country I never want to step another foot into.
I’ve been twice — the first, in my late 20s, on a sisters vacation during Halloween. It was a blast and perfect for four siblings in various stages of relationships (me = single). The second, was my birthday celebration. Number 32 (me = newly coupled with the guy I remain with today).
That 32nd birthday there was spent practically by myself, after friends who frequently travel (there and otherwise) backed out of the adventure plans. I had a couple friends there to party with, but they stayed in another hotel, further down the Strip, and I constantly felt like a fifth wheel. They were from Denver; me, living in Ohio at the time; and they also left a day earlier than me, so I drank by the pool alone for my last day of vacation. The one girl who took all the pictures of that trip NEVER SENT ME PICS. Never tagged me on Facebook. Lame.
I seriously made the offering to acquiantances I partied with to “just fly here; the room is already paid for!” And yet, no takers. I was in aforementioned-happy relationship, but desperately wanted a “friends trip” (I’ve still never been invited on one, which depresses me); I even invited the boyfriend out with me at the last minute (he couldn’t go).
It was one of the loneliest vacations of my life (this, from a person who traveled to Europe by herself). And, sadly, I learned a lot about friendships surrounding that incident. That one trip essentially changed my life in a completely different way I imagined. I was in my 30s, and it was time to grow up. And I did.
So, when I hear of people going to Vegas for some big Life Event or Age Turning, I make that face.
Or something…
I have no desire to return to this City of Lights. It’s probably not Vegas’ fault, but I hate it there. I mean, truly loath. I associate it with so much negativity — and I refuse to have that sort of energy in my life. Let’s be frank here too, I’m definitely not into that sort of club scene anymore (not even close) and somebody reaching the Big 3-0 milestone seems SO. MUCH. YOUNGER. than where I am right now (yes, I said it out loud! feel free to smack me!).
So much different than what I am now.
Gah. Have you reached that point in your 30s where you feel so much *gulp* older? Do you have a city that you refuse to return to, for one reason or another?
A man/woman is many things, they say. Identity, or psychological identity, is a set of distinctive characteristics that one acquires through self-reflection and awareness. Identity can be lost or evolve with life experience, daily tasks or habits, and age. Just as we are these many things, makes us all unique in our total identity.
Who am I?
30-something
Girlfriend
Friend
Cat Owner LOVER!
Roller Derby Athlete
Teammate
Writer
Sometimes I’m witty, but most times I think I come across like an asshole.
Sister/Daughter/Granddaughter/Aunt
Volunteer
Frequent Vacationer
Adventurer
Wannabe Therapist INFP
Failure. (yes, I see even this through the eyes of an optimist)
Procrastinator (this, however, is bad)
OCD
Brunette
German/Irish/Hungarian/Czech
Late-bloomer
Resilient
^^ also me (why so many pictures of me + yard drink?)
I totally failed my November shopping ban. Totally. Completely. Utterly. Failed. This is what happens when there are sales, coupons and discount offers all up in my email this time of year.
But… I’m not mad. I’m EXCITED.
1. Rice Dot Tee {LOFT} / 2. Sims Pants {Trina Turk} / 3. Cozy Cable Cardigan {LOFT} / 4. Chunky Cable Open Front Cardigan {LOFT} (I love cardigans!) / 5. White Wool-blend Belted Coat {Banana Republic}
I also picked up a standard gray crew-neck tee shirt and gray-and-cream striped sweater from BP
Retail Therapy
See, when I turned 35, I made it a year-long mission to reinvent my closet. I now seek out classic, versatile and well-structured pieces. Clothing that is an investment (for, hopefully, the next 5 or so years of my age bracket) takes over where throw-away trends are concerned. On that same note, I needed long-sleeve shirts, which is where the $30 tops and sweaters sale at LOFT comes in. I have, like, one long-sleeve shirt in my closet. And it’s misshapen and almost five years old itself. Why the former obsession with 3/4-length, Mel?
Plain-and-simple, I need to dress more like I am 35 and less like I am 25. There’s a difference between being young and youthful, and being chic and playful with your wardrobe. And by “your” of course I mean myself.
About a Coat
I’ve had my (current) tan-colored wool coat from Banana Republic for nearly a decade. But… I’ve grown out of it (and by “grown” I mean it’s easily four sizes too large for me; someone at the consignment store will surely give it some more love). I bought it at an end-of-season sale for almost 50% off. It was a good deal then, and considerably so now, for how long it’s lasted in my closet.
Alas, it’s ill-fitting now… boxy — even with layers of sweaters underneath, it just looks like I’m wearing my grandpa’s coat — so I wanted a new warm winter coat that was fitted to my proportions and more chic.
I FOUND THE PERFECT COAT (see above)! On top of that, the coupon for friends & family deal (50% off!) from my neighbor was just too kind. This was also an excuse to head into the cute local neighborhood, Shadyside, of Pittsburgh. I only hope this one lasts me another decade. I can’t lie, I’m terrified about the winter white. But the style and fit was too pretty to resist.
Retail as Therapy. Makes me happy inside and out. And probably just as expensive.
Do you take advantage of great sales this time of year for personal shopping? Tell us about your Biggest Score in the comments!
35 is still in the middle (even though you’ve just skipped to the next age demographic); you’re no closer to 30 than 40… well, not until the day after your birthday if you’re a Glass Half Empty type of 30-something. Alas, the hump: you’re officially in your mid 30s. Mid-effin-30s.
AND THEN YOU HAVE TO GO AND DO THINGS LIKE MAKE 5-YEAR-PLANS WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND AND THINK ABOUT BEING 40 YEARS OLD.
Yes, all caps and bold. And *puke*
Today is my half birthday, and I’m officially halfway to 36.
